"My god, Vanessa's got a fabulous body... I bet she shags like a minx... How do I let them know because of the unfreezing process, I have no inner monologue? I hope I didn't just say that all out loud just now. "


Austin Powers


It has been a productive week, as we have got over the excitement of being in a country where everyone speaks English, and started to get annoyed at how bloody expensive everything is.

The biggest change is that everyone understands what we're saying... all the time... even when we're just making an innocuous remark under our breath. And as if that wasn't bad enough, because of how much time we've spent together, neither Vinny or myself any longer have an internal monologue - we just say stuff. And let me tell you, the travelpod few, that Vinny's a pretty sick individual.

The hostel we're staying at arranges work for its guests - quite a good system really, people ring up and say things like "Ah yeah? I need two pommy b******s at X o'clock to go and do X... crikey!" and bob's your uncle.

As most (all) of our funds have been depleted by our ridiculously impressive journey thus far, we needed to get working pretty quick and that's what we did.

We started out with a couple of days work for a guy who had just moved into a new house, and wanted two lackeys to move his garden back and forth all day, then clear out his garage. No worries. Although it got a little odd on the second day when his wife asked us to clean their bathrooms for them... what do you say to that? Well, we said ok. And then we put up her washing for her and had a slice of trifle.

Now I'm working for a guy who is actually called Bruce, laying paving in new houses. Well, outside new houses to be exact. Now, I will be the first to admit that laying paving isn't my particular area of expertise, but, considering the general absence of an area of expertise, it'll do. Vinny's off working on some removals job - we both spend our days moving extremely heavy things from point A to point B.

The money's ok though... well, it's money. A good days work will pay a weeks rent, and then you just need to worry about the other stuff (you know, fillet steak, ballet tickets, singing lessons and pottery classes).

Anyway, Australia is a wonderful place - and it is reassuring to see that if anything these guys have MORE barfights than in England... Usually about sport though.

Oh, and I killed a red back spider with a brick... I rock.

xxx