"I was just a young man when I did my first Three Point Fade Away. She was a French Canadian whose name I've since forgotten and who I met in France, in a bar that was all loud noises and pink carpeted walls. We drank, went skinny dipping in the wee small hours, made promises and held hands. I remember talk of a trip to the chain link bridge in Budapest, or maybe Bucharest. Then it started. Point One, e-mails regulary. Point two, e-mails every now and then, maybe a couple of CCs if I behaved well enough in them. And then point three, the Fade Away. That's the lifestyle, those are the rules. Everything with a beginning has an end and nothing very bad or very good ever lasts very long. We call it the Three Point Fade Away. It's not much, but it's what we've got, and if you don't like it, we'll Three Point Fade Away you"

Backpacker, Anon.
(Modern translation done to the tune of the Jihad speech from Team America)


"Nothing very very good or very very bad ever lasts for very very long"

Generation X

"I'm Idaho"

The Simpsons

"My funniest moment was when Genae off Neighbours was chatting up Tom down at the beach but then Ned from Neighbours came over and stopped her"

Rich

"Give me some sugar baby"

Bruce Cambell


The week started great and went downhill from there. Last Saturday our traveling family got together for a barbie down at the Yara river. This is something the Australians do well. Free to use barbecue pits line the river bank, allowing us to have a great day out at a very low cost - and there's really nothing better than eating lots and lots of meat..... with friends and beers and stuff, obviously.

Adam The American arrived from Bangkok the day before. Vinny and I got up at the crack of 8AM to go and pick him up from the airport. Adam, you will no doubt remember, is the lovely American who Vinny and I traveled with for three weeks in China, adding a new dynamic to an already pretty tip top team. We managed to convince him on our departure to change his plans and come and meet us in Oz, and whaddaya know? He's only gone and done it.

As I write I notice I'm going back in time. I have lots to get down and not much time, so rather than sort out my narrative quirks, I'll just move on.

So there was this barbecue to welcome Adam the American to Australia. And present were many of our close friends, which is always good work if you can get it while traveling, and a few happy randoms. There was the 'Nottingham Core', which is myself, Vinny, Tom and Rich. Then there was the traveling heroes, Bruce Cambell (with lovely Louise), Adam The American, and Shawn (with lovely Ann) who we've known since back in the old days of Fremantle. Then there was Zoe, Tom's close friend, and the Swedes, headed by Vinny's close friend Ella and backed up by Emily and Charlie, all of whom we have also known since Freo. Added to this eclectic mix was Michael the Frenchman, another Swedish guy called Tobias and two Norwegian girls whose names I kept asking and then forgetting almost as quickly.

And it was all good. One of the great things about Australia is the lifestyle. Sure, there's some things to sort out here and there (no time for tirade, no time for tirade), but the lifestyle thing is great. Social outdoor eating, sports, weather, good times, beers...

The only one missing from the line up was Eddie, who had already arranged to go grape grazing. This is basically a winery visit that involves as much wine as you can consume. I saw him briefly back at the hostel early evening. A friend came to get me to tell me there was a drunken lunatic stumbling from room to room shouting "Mike! Mikey Baby!" at the top of his voice. He had lost his phone and was going to have to communicate via shouting for the next couple of days. He had also managed to be sick on the bus on the way back without anyone else noticing - not even the guy sat next to him! Now I'm not trying to embarrass the legend, I'm genuinely impressed - that sort of thing takes skill.

Anyway, no time for that either. So then into the week, which saw Adam the American and I getting a few days work unloading a cargo container for some Yoga Matting company, which was pleasantly unpleasant and paid just better than badly. I also had shifts at the pub at night so had some rather impressive long days. Not that any of that happened, because Adam cannot legally work in this country, and would never flout the letter of the law.

Next week Adam and I are not going to look for some work for a Removals company, as that sort of thing is great for people who are looking for cash in hand jobs, which we aren't because that sort of thing is against the law and people who do that kind of thing aren't the big winners they think they are. So we won't be doing that so much we've got a busy week in store.

On Friday night we had to say farewell to Shawn as he's off home via Asia. And it was sad, because Shawn is a legend, but I'm really just getting started.

The reason I'm in so much of a hurry is I had to borrow Vinny's camera to get those BBQ photos online, and he's leaving soon.

That's right, Travelpod several, the Fellowship is breaking up.... But only temporarily.

Vinny and Tom are going off to the east coast in Lola to surf, live like floppy haired bums and have a good time.

I'm staying put.

It basically all comes down to money, as I have none, and need a lot of it by August when I am required to fly home via Vegas (baby) for my brother's wedding. Bless him, he's not really the sort for a stag do in Amsterdam, so five days in Vegas (baby) it is. And I'm hoping to have enough money to spend a good few weeks at home catching up with family before flying back out (to the EXACT same spot where I left from and therefore not advancing any further around the world). And, if the mood takes me, I may also, while I'm there, cycle from Land's End to John O'Groats with Karim (Honestly mate, get it sorted).

So I need a quite life for a few months. And where better to hold up than here in Melbourne with Eddie, Bruce Cambell, Adam the American, Rich, and the few other well-wishers who aren't leaving in the next few days.

I really have to tie this up now, as I'm late for our farewell coffee which seems to be a rather silly thing to be.

I may not see Tom again as he's thinking about going home in May. This is a bad thing, as Tom is one of my favourite people..... He's what I hope to grow up to be if I can ever develop a moral streak.

And as for Vinny? Well, to his face in twenty minutes I'm going to call him a useless, ginger, Chewbacca esque harridan of a creature who can just about get f***ed as he's dead to me anyway, in fact no he's not, because then I would be in mourning, and I'm not, so he's nothing, you hear me? Nothing.

On here though, so he can feel all warm next time he's online..... He's like my brother, in all the right ways, and I'm going to miss him.

Traveling around the world is so full of overstated and undeserved emotion, empty goodbyes and vacant hellos that I feel even writing this is being eerily self-referential.


But, you know, it's Vinny.


xxxx




p.s. I don't know if it's polite etiquettte to point out what Travelpod did for me that I'm grateful for, so I'm just going to thank them, and Whereshegoes, for being wonderful. And now I feel really bad for telling you guys your new text editor could kiss my ass.... Especially as you fixed it the next day...... Feel bad now.... Travelpod, I love you... Always have, and I want to marry you.