`Actually, I'm a writer..... A writer? Of letters and such?` - Unforgiven

The following is a work of fiction. Any similarities to people living or dead is purely coincidental. It is not, repeat not, the confession of a crime. Glad we got that straight.

Mak and Vonny were two dangerously good looking Brits who fancied doing a bit of backpacking. They thought Interrail would be a safe option, as for a few hundred notes it is possible to secure a month's train travel anywhere in Europe.

It was a rare morning in May, and the duo met up, as was their style, and walked to the local market. When they got to the Magic Bean and Interrail Ticket Stall Mak was disgusted to learn that as he was 26 it would cost him 400 Sterlings whilst Vonny, not 26 for two more months, would get away with paying only 280 sheets.

'All right you Heathen b******', Mak said pleasantly, 'I'll pay your money, but only if you leave the zeros off the date on our ticket. Make it say from 7.6.7. to 6.7.6.'

'May I ask why?' The mild mannered clerk inquired.

'Yes', came the reply. 'We intend to abuse the fact that England still issues carbon copy tickets whilst other countries favour computer hologram print outs. We intend to acquire a soft tipped pencil and add a one to the dates after ten days, thus acquiring ten extra days of free rail travel on the fair continent. I gave myself the idea by committing a similar act of fraud not three years hence, when it came about me to go see about a girl six countries away, armed with a reluctant companion and 6 euros'.

'You guys rock!' The clerk commented as he acquiesced to the demand.

'Yes we do', Vonny agreed. 'Yes we do'.

And so it was that our faithful duo set off on their journey. After the month of prescribed train travel had expired, Mak armed himself with a black biro, a pencil, a stapler and a table and set about creating the greatest forgery in the history of mankind.

It was agreed that the fraud was faultless, and that Mak and Vonny were giants amongst men.

Thus the journey continued, and the system was abused, quite possibly to the cost of others, for ten more days of sheer trains. The duo took a tour of Austria, of Swizterland, back to Austria, then to Poland via the Chech Republic. As Latvia, Lithuania and Estonia don't subscribe to Interrail, the tickets were then, with great relief, ripped into little bits and thrown in the bin, to the chorus of a twelve gun salute.

Mak and Vonny then breathed a colossal sigh of relief, patted each other on the back enormously, and then went back to the more important task of signing autographs and pretty much wandering around the world being great.... And the world was a better place for it.

The End




It should be noted that, as mentioned above, this story is a work of fiction. Mike and Vinny find the behavior of Vonny and Mak abhorrent, and would like to point out to all you crazy kids that the penalty for defrauding the rail network in some countries is a long and slow death.