Bloody hell, even just the bit from Melbourne to Auckland is 1630 miles! Ooh, I couldn't be doing with that...
Mar 22, 2012

"My feelings of being a bit under the weather have returned, what could it be I wonder?" You're a big pommy pooftah, that's why, ya big galah! Just getting myself into the Antipodean vibe, that's all. It's sunny here, I may take the rubbish out. Oh the glamour.
Mar 22, 2012

Suicide Room? I like the title. What's that building site you're standing in front of? Someone's left a load of packing crates piled up.
Mar 19, 2012

As in Barking, East of London sounds more exotic? Charlene was on top form....
Mar 18, 2012

FFS, I meant West of Melbourne, duh...! Still, East sounds more romantic (for example, the film 'Krakatoa East of Java' is wrongly titled - it should be 'Krakatoa West of Java', but the film makers thought East sounded more exotic. Not a lot of people know that, unless they're reading this blog).
Mar 18, 2012

I've just noticed on your itinerary map that some miles (how many I don't know as there's no bloody scale on the map) east of Melbourne is... Port Fairy! I thought Neighbours had its day twenty years ago? Hope the spider bite's healing, that lump looked nasty - I hope you smashed the little s*** to smithereens when it bit you!
Mar 18, 2012

I think that neighbours has had its day now, not the same without Mrs Mangle. Say hi to Charlene for me tonight.
Mar 18, 2012

Blimey, it's quite big (ooh matron!). Love the photos of the fish. What was teh spider bite all about? You want to be careful in Australia, virtually every creepy crawly is venomous.
Mar 16, 2012

Fab! So you went down twice? Once in the sub and another time in the glass-bottomed boat? Just googled Green Island, Great Barrier Reef, and it looks amazing, good choice!
Mar 16, 2012

Glad to hear you've perked up! Okay, so you had to overcome some bureaucracy to get medical treatment, but if you were in the States they'd leave you in a bleeding heap in the gutter if you couldn't afford to pay on the spot, so count yourself fortunate...
Mar 14, 2012

Do you realise that by the time you return home you will have visited all five continents?
Mar 14, 2012

You can't get ill on your hols! What you need is a cockatoo, that'll cheer you up. Glad you got to go on the Skyrail, that looks so fecking awesome! Dose up with Lemsip (or Aussie equivalent, probably something like 'Soft Pommy b****** Sip') and get some good zeds in!
Mar 13, 2012