Allow me first to tell you about one of my favourite things upon returning to Great Britain (whatever people may say, it is great. No quibbling). Motorway service stations. They're just incredible. They provide a service of inestimable value - a safe place where you can go to warm up, get some food, find out the news, use a clean bathroom, have a rest from your journey, get a new book, buy a present for someone you're on your way to see, if you have forgotten t...

I suggest you go and make yourself a mug of tea. Now. Before you read any further. Don't say I didn't warn you. Let's put everything in the wrong order. Because rushing in headlong is always more fun than taking the time to get organised first. In early December some friends and I went for High Tea at a restaurant in the Globe - it is literally a big sphere set towards the top of the Faisaliyah Tower, with a fancy restaurant in it. The walls (spherical though th...

It's been some time, for which I apologise, but quite a lot has happened. I shall attempt to condense it, like milk. Then have a condensed milk and salt sandwich, as suggested by the Sikh bomb defuser in The English Patient. He said it was delicious. Was his name Kip? Or maybe it was evaporated milk and salt. Either way, I've never taken his advice. Shortly after my last update, a small number of kind people pulled a large number of dangerous strings, and got ...

Anyone who has ever been to the Middle East (probably other places too but that's where I've encountered it) will know what I mean by the bum squirter. For those who don't know - it's a hose installed next to every toilet in the country, designed to squirt your bum. I'll be honest, they freak me out a little. Maybe it's just because I've grown up with paper and no squirter, but I can't imagine wanting to squirt myself with cold water, with a clumsy hose which a...

I currently have no internet connection so can't check where I left off last time, and I don't even remember when last time was, so it's highly likely I'll either repeat myself, or skip vital parts of the story, or both. Forgive me, for I am in Loony Land and exceptions must be made. Let's start with the work stuff. A little over 2 weeks ago, I was sent to Imam Mohammed Bin Saud Islamic University, Female Section, for an interview for a teaching position in th...