F**K ME. Can't even have a laugh on here without people ripping each other to bits. Oh and for the record. wot little russian i know, baba rra!!!! wants photos of pauly having a s*** ( i think ).

Some more top spelling from Stand Up.......What's a 'lier'????

Two nuns are sitting in the traffic waiting for the lights to change when suddenly a vampire appears in front of them. "oh sister, what shall we do?" stammers the younger nun. " do not worry" came the reply. "Show him your cross". The younger nun winds down her window and yells, "f*** off, you little twat!"

This guy gets pulled over by a copper for speeding. The copper asks to see his driving license. "Driving license", the man replies, "I haven't even passed my f***ing test. The copper then asks to see his insurance cetificate. "Insurance, nope never had any f***ing insurance" says the man. "Wot about an mot" asks the copper. "Nah, not got one of them either" he replies. At this point the copper asks if he can look in the drivers glove box. The guy says "you don't wanna look in there. Thats where i keep my gun". "A gun" quizzes the copper. "Yeah the one i used to shoot my neighbour, whose body i've got rolled up in a carpet in the boot". The copper immediately calls for back up. When the sargeant turns up he asked the driver for his driving license. The driver hands it over. The sargeant asks for his insurance certificate. The dirver hands it over. The sargeant asks for his mot certifcate. The driver hands it over. When the sargeant looks it the boot he finds it to be empty. The driver then says "you can check the glove box as well". "Ah yes says the sargeant, my officer told me about the gun". To which the driver replied "He what, i supoose the f***ing lier said i was speeding too".

Rich goes to a night club and starts chatting up a very attractive-looking Chinese girl. After a night of cavorting, she asks Rich back to her place 'for a coffee'. They get to her flat, and she tells Rich to help himself to a Jack Daniel's while she slips into something more comfortable. Just as Rich finishes his drink, the sexy Chinese seductress returns wearing only a see-through negligee. "I am your sex slave!" she says. I will do absolutely ANYTHING you want" Rich cant believe his luck. "Hmm, Rich says grinning ear-to-ear. "I fancy a 69" ... "f*** off!" replies the girl. "I'm not cooking at this time of night."

Pauly goes to the doctors for a medical. After testing him with the stethoscope, the doctor turns to him. 'Well, Pauly' he say's. 'You seem to be fine but I'm going to need a urine sample,a stool sample and a sperm sample'. Not hearing what he say's, Pauly turns to Hannah. 'What did he say?' Hannah replies 'He said he needs your underwear!!'

hey, what a cool site - a bit of porn, some laughs, some more porn, some perverts and some f***er that can't spell!!! I'll def check it out again!!! Only problem is ....who the hell is this 'rich' guy? Forget about him just keep going wit t porn!!!!

delivary is everything. how about giving us the punch line before the joke. you try to be funny but just f*** it up. try using spell check.

Two dyslexics sat in the cinema. one says "can you smell gas". The other replies "f***ing hell, i can't even smell my own name".

Scientists have just discovered a food that reduces a womens sex drive to zero....its called wedding cake.

Why did GOT invent thrush ... dyslexic twat!! Don't you mean GOD ... I should know - for I am he. Bless you my child ... even if you can't f**king spell!!

i ment god not got!!!!! im a twt i mean t***

why did got invent thrush..............................................cause he wanted women to get used to an irritating c**t before she married one !!!!