Three days on a train, never ever thought I would do something like this and still don't really know how to describe it or how to begin writing about it. All three days have meshed into one long day of random jumbled events and anecdotes, so I think random is the way to go.

Carolyn and Carol have a bit too much to drink and attempt to convince me that one of the guys working in the dining car is a vampire. I look up at the man, who is pale as the new moon, glaring menacingly and wearing navy blue silk pajamas in the middle of the day. I laugh and agree with them.

I lose then end off my laptop charger, and tear the cabin apart looking for it, so Kate, Gen and I… and to a lesser extent Moy (who was probably just going along with the crowd) can watch Disney movies. I fail to find the small device and spend the next three days worrying about finding a laptop charger in Moscow.

I managed to get a book to read, Captain Correli's Mandolin, everyone in the group who has read it, tells me it's a bit heavy going. I sit there and giggle at the Greek and Italian cultural jokes that only I seem to get. People give me confused stares.

I am forced onto a diet of two minute noodles. During one meal, I decide I've had enough and attempt to throw my noodles in the bin. A rather fat Russian lady comes barreling towards me, almost knocking me flying and obviously scolds me for doing this. I then attempt to flush the noodles down the toilet and she follows me into the bathroom, which because of her enormous size is too small to contain both of us. Won't be doing that again anytime soon.

The drinking continues…. My cabin is made the party cabin and we basically kidnap a local by the name of Vasilies who works in the restaurant car. We then proceed to have the best game of charades ever, because our newly acquired friend speaks almost no English and is trying to tell us about his home town.

Fat lady and the vampire are storming up and down the train looking for him, but to no avail as he is now drunk and locked in our cabin.

At Novosibirsk, three of the best looking men I have ever seen get on the train, but only for four hours and go stand outside my cabin. Carolyn comes in and sits with me, the best looking of the three is bending over to look out the window slightly. Carolyn is also eyeing them off. I say to Carolyn, who had been practicing her Russian the entire trip, How do you say, You have a nice ass in Russian? The tall, blond amazing looking man looks in at me and gives me a cheeky grin. I spend the next hour or so wondering if he has actually understood me. I then go and sit in the dining car with Kate and he is sitting in the booth behind Kate and keeps looking up at me and grinning and occasionally winking at me. Yes, I think he definitely understood what I said. Awkward.

Sleeping is fun, the train stops and starts during the night. As soon as you are asleep the train screams into or jolts out of a station and wakes you, causing you to delay falling asleep until you are underway again. On arrival in Moscow, I wake up in the middle of the night and think to myself, I'll just wait until we get underway again. I wait, and wait and wait and wait. Where the hell are we? I think to myself. Frustrated, resolve to get up and check the timetable to see how long the stop is, I open my eyes and realize I am in the posh Moscow Gamma Delta hotel and not on a train in the middle of Siberia.

I am told my Moy that I am like traveling with his sister because I tell it like it is, tease him and say things to him like, Shut up, ya idjet. I think he means this as a compliment as every time I insult him or tell him to shut up he giggles at me.

Trains run on Moscow time, even though Siberia is five hours ahead. Trying to adjust becomes a kind of Russian roulette, where by you either become really well adjusted by napping all the time or you ignore time, which becomes relative completely and instantlybecome the living dead on arrival in Moscova.

Kate keeps bashing her head on the light fitting, and I laugh hysterically at her expense every time. A day or so later I sit down in the same spot to read my book and immediately bash my head on the light fitting. I finally get my comeuppance for laughing at other peoples misfortunes.

So ends my random account of a three day train ride across Russia, the events are in no particular order…not only because the journey was one of the most random journey of my life, but also because time becomes relative while on this journey and I can not remember the sequence in which the events actually happened.