I had a much needed sleep in this morning, I woke up around 7am and thought, b***** that, and went back to bed and got up at 10am. I then headed off to the Montmarte district for the day as there were quite a few things there I wanted to see there.

I started off by heading up the hill to Sacre Coer. The way up was through a narrow street and you could only just see the magnificent white church as you climbed the hill. Once I was inside the grounds, several men of African appearance attempted to accost me (and everyone else) by tying coloured string to our fingers and making bracelets. I would have none of it and they were very forceful. "No! b***** off!" I yelled at them. One even grabbed me and tried to stop me, I stopped, spun around and gave him the filthiest look I could muster and growled, "Let. Go." He almost looked taken aback as he unhanded me and I proceeded up towards the church.

About half way up I was accosted yet again, this time by a Frenchman named Dino, who wanted to draw my portrait. I knew he would probably want money for it at the end, but I thought what the hell, I'm in Paris. So we sat in the gardens while he drew me and proceeded to chat me up, which was a little funny. After he had finished he insisted on accompanying me up to the church all the while kissing my hand and telling me how beautiful I was. Lovely as that was, I wanted to enjoy the church so I politely said goodbye and proceeded on with out my new friend.

The church inside was beautifully decorated, not as much stained glass as Notre Dame, but lots of Mosaic work. The principle theme in the centre of the church was white and gold on a stunning blue background and again I sat in a pew to admire the scenes.

I went outside to have a look at the actual church as I had been a bit distracted on the way up. The church has three domes and is a lovely white colour. It looks much more inviting than Notre Dame, which is a gothic style building covered in gargoyles.

I proceeded back down the hill and had a poke around in some of the little shops, before having lunch. I then went back up the hill to see the permanent Salvador Dali exhibit. I have a particular affiliation with this artist, not only have I named my dog after him, but I feel a particular empathy with his surrealist style, in my love of all things different and eccentric. (My mad hero) In fact, I was once told that I have a similar painting style, a compliment which flattered me greatly.

The exhibit was mostly sculpture, there were a few of Dali's famous soft watches and also another sculpture of an elephant with skinny legs carrying an obelisk. The theme behind the melting clocks, is that time itself is not absolute. Man is more or less in control of the passing of time as far as he himself is concerned. This is the reasoning behind the fact that time flies when you're having fun and drags when you're not.

I walked around the top of the hill for a bit after leaving the Dali exhibit, there were lots of artists painting and a many playing the Chello on the street. I love how in Paris, there is always someone playing an instrument as you are walking along. Music to exist to. I then caught the Funiculare, (that word makes me giggle for some reason) a kind of cable car, down the hill.

My last bit of business for the current outing was to seek out the famous Moulin Rogue and see if I could make a reservation for tonight's performance. This was pretty easy, the large red windmill was obvious on the streets of the red light district and I walked in and made a reservation for the midnight show. I then went back to the hotel to have a rest and get ready.

I got all dressed up in my red, black and white party dress, with my red and black Mary Janes and black stockings and got the metro to Blanche station in Montmarte. I had arrived a bit early, so I went for a walk. Big mistake. If I thought the chatting up factor had been bad earlier in the day it was ten times worse now. I even had the guys outside promoting trying to drag me into strip clubs. One even promised me there would be Sexy Men inside. He nearly had me.

I quickly went back to the Moulin Rouge and got in the line to go inside, which seemed to take forever. Once inside I was shown to a table and give a bottle of French champagne, which I actually really liked. Maybe Champagne just tastes better when you're in France.

The house lights dimmed and the curtain went up. About thirty people all wearing silver, sequined, spandex outfits came out and started dancing on stage. The next act was all girls, who wore nothing but G-strings and feathers, (actually that's the most any of the girls wore for the whole show) the feathers were bright red and they looked spectacular. The next act was a juggler who could juggle seven pins at once. I remember clapping loudly along to the music and whistling….the champagne starting to kick in. The next act left me gobs smacked. One of the girls walked out wearing nothing but a G-String and stood in front of a guy dressed like a Sultan. Then out of no where this clear, giant tank of water rose from the floor and the girl jumped into it.

In the tank were three huge pythons, I watched, my jaw hanging open, the girl wrapped the snakes around herself and danced under the water with them to the music. It was one of the most amazing things I thing I ever seen done.

After the girl with the snakes, two guys came out wearing overalls and danced to Singing in the Rain and a couple of other jazz numbers. They were both really good looking and they did a lot of gymnastics work, where they did hand stands off each other. At one point on guy held his hand in the air and the other guy did a hand stand off the raised hand and eventually, the man was on his head. It was so clever. More applause from me….and drunken yelling.

There were a few more acts, all very brightly coloured, my favourite of these was when three of the ladies came out and sang I will survive… my anthem. I wanted to get up there and join in! I was singing at the top of my lungs at the table, by this time…..I had finished the champagne. The last act was the French Can Can, all the girls came on stage in red, white and blue dresses and kicked up their legs so the audience could see their frilly panties. One girl shrieked and did hand stands and walked around with her dress over her head. It was great to be able to see something so French, in France.

After the show was over I attempted to get the metro back to the hotel. I got about half way before the trains stopped running and I had to get a very hard to catch cab back to the hotel. When I arrived at the hotel, they had a roller door down, I almost had a heart attack thinking I wasn't going to be able to get in until morning, luckily I spotted a buzzer. Thankfully I was buzzed in and went upstairs to sleep off the champagne.