Six weeks since arriving in Korcula and I've had either no time or even the inclination to write. And where am I now….on a ferry from Vela Luka heading back to Split. I actually just let out a big sigh of I don't know what….disappointment maybe, relief, disbelief, I don't know maybe a combination. Anyway it's time to write about the Korcula adventure, if you could even call it that.

Since it's been such a long time and I'm now having trouble distinguishing what happened and when this is just going to be a random series of events….this entry if nothing else should dismiss once and for all that the life of a tour leader is certainly not a life where you are paid to be on holidays.

Geez, where do I start, oh yes…the girl I work with who won't let me organise anything despite the fact that I am more qualified than her…her only qualification for this job seems to be that she speaks Croatian. Working with someone who has the attention span of a squirrel, the memory of a fish and the intelligence of a bag of peanuts (even a few short) has had it's challenges I can tell you. I've come from running the Trans-Mongolian railway, where I did 90% of the work myself and everything else was booked months in advance by a semi competent office team. So I'm not used to having basic things go wrong. You know that saying, "if you want something done right you have to do it yourself" never more true than in this situation.

The main problem with this working relationship is that one person sees this as a working relationship (Me) and the other sees it as a holiday (her). She gets to go back to her cushy little office job at the end of the season with a bunch of cool stories while I have to move on and fine another contract, because this is it for me. This is my career. Trying to work with someone with the above qualities who thinks she is on holiday has not only been a challenge, but it has also made me look as incompetent as she is, so much so that I had to have a meeting with the operations manager to explain the situation because it was impacting negatively on my feedback from the passengers.

One example, was on a Wednesday (bat crap crazy day) when we had two boats docking at once in the main port and she decides that going home and doing her hair is more important than delivering the information speech to one of the boats and leaves me with both of them! The consequence of this is, I is have to get onto Aurora (a really big fancy boat, with fancy pants passengers) and give a really rushed info speech, because I can see , as I'm talking the other boat, Tuna docking up in the distance and all its passengers hurrying onto land before I can get to them. She has also told me no one on this boat has wanted excursions and because I am in a rush now because of the other boat docking up, I don't check the excursion board. Sure enough I get a harassing phone call from the operations manager the next day asking what the hell has happened as all the guests are angry because they did want to go on the buggy excursion. As such, because I'm the one who has spoken on the boat, they think it is my fault, this combined with my rushed info talk results in a lot of negative feedback for me, which results in another phone call lecturing me about this. This is why I needed the meeting.

During the last two weeks, my not so intelligent partner in crime gets rotated to Split, just before the half years carnivale party. She whinges at me a few days before leaving, I don't want to go…you should go to Split! In a tone that can only mean, I want you to call the manager right now and insist on going. I stand my ground, I'm not going to bloody Split, I say. You were the one who requested a change around, you can't just pick and choose when and where you go, this is a job you know. I didn't ask to be changed, in fact I asked specifically NOT to be changed until I start with Med Experience.

On one of her last days in Korcula, she had agreed to go to Mljet (which we are also supposed to look after) on a Tuesday. She had only agreed to go on her own because she has a crush on one of the captains she knows will be there. Monday night is a big night for both of us, we have to stay out until 2am to make sure the guests get from Dos Locos night club to Gaudi nightclub. However, she has gotten rat s*** drunk (which we are not supposed to do because, again we are not actually on holidays) and brought a guy home and stayed up all night with him. She thinks I don't know this, although the fact she was all over him at the bar, told me to "herd" the guests to Gaudi so she can sneak off with him and then I find condom wrappers all over the bathroom the next morning is a dead give away. Do you think I'm as dumb as you are, I want to say to her. Anyway, I know the boat to Mljet goes at 9am, I get up to go to the bathroom at 7am and lay in bed awake waiting for her to get up to make sure she goes. I had already offered to go the previous day but she has insisted because this captain she likes is going to be there. It gets to about 8am, and I'm faced with a dilemma, do I wake her up and potentially risk her saying she now doesn't want to go? And then I have to go or do I let her sleep in, miss the boat and then call the operations manager, who will no doubt blame me anyway for not taking the lead and going in her place. When it became my responsibility to make sure other people do their jobs is beyond me. I decide to call her from my room, she answers, sounding worse for wear, thanks me for waking her up and rushes out the door.

Wow, I think to myself, if I hadn't woken her up she just wouldn't have gone and there would have been no one to meet the boats! Later in the day I notice she has taken all her bathroom stuff, obviously planning on spending the night partying with the boats, instead of coming back and attempting to come up with a plan with me for the next day which is the busiest of the week. She calls me later in the evening and tells me the day boat isn't coming back and that she is stranded in Mljet and will come back with the boats. Again, she obviously thinks I'm as dumb as she is.

Needless to say I am relieved when she finally gets on a bus and goes to Split for the remainder of my tenure in Korcula. This also means I get two whole days to myself in the flat, or would have if the day boat had been going to Mljet on the Thursday. This means I need to get on one of the boats and go all the way to Dubrovnik with them (overnight) and then get the bus back. Well one day is better than nothing and it also means I get to spend time with people I actually like. Notably, the crew on the boat Mlini, Toni, Ivan, Zvone and Bobo, who I still like despite the s*** they've been giving me about my "apparent" fling with Bobo.

The half new years party is amazing as is the fact that they've given me a new partner in crime to work with Natalija, who is an experienced guide/tour leader the same as me. We are both on the same page with everything and Natalija is intelligent and organised as well as a lot of fun to hang out with. We only have four boats for the half years party, we take two each, the buggy excursion goes off without a hitch and all the guests have a good time. Dos Locos even has body painting, I've just finished giving my Korcula info speech, telling everyone about the party and leaving masks on all the boats. One of these boats is Nov Dan, which I have never been on (this is the boat on which the hot Captain is, or so my ex partner in crime says). I actually want to do the talk on this boat as I have not really met the crew before. After I give my talk, Sascha the waiter comes up to me and tells me how good I was and that the Captain was impressed. Clearly there is more to this island than getting drunk and the passengers have enjoyed my historically focuses speech over, the usual let's get pissed speech, my old team mate used to give.

Mlini is the last boat I have to do this talk on, I tell Toni to come and get painted up at Dos Locos for the party, he asked the Captain and we jump off the boat. The small port, Porto Uz where this boat is docked is down a large hill from the town, this means you have to walk up it to get into the town from the boat, a feat, which six weeks ago would have almost killed me. Toni says to me, Come on Kristina! Race you! And what do you know I manage to run up the hill and almost keep up with him…even though he is about 6.2, climbs like a monkey and obviously a lot fitter than I am.

Natalija and I spend our days off swimming in the amazing turquoise Adriatic waters off the coast of the island and sitting in cafes drinking coffee. We have intelligent conversation and have a lot of fun together. During our first week, I realise how many problems there are with this system and spend the next week ironing them out…just in time to leave!

The first Tuesday Natalija is here the Dubrovnik rep is supposed to go to Mljet, but he misses the ferry and we get a frantic phone call from one of the managers at 8am telling us we need to be on a boat that is waiting for us in 20 minutes. I call Zoran (its his boat) and confirm what time he is returning 1pm….this doesn't work for us. I call the manager and tell her this and she tells us to stay with the boats. Stay with the boats? Is she kidding? She wants me to organise Wednesday when we have ten boats in from another boat with loud music and people asking me questions and also while the third member of my team (Mia who has never worked like this before) is stuck in Korcula. I'm just going to stop asking where the common sense is here. I'm the stress head in this situation and Natalija tells me to calm down, we will find a way back to our own island. About half way to Mljet on Zoran's million euro cruiser, I realise, hang on these boats are all coming from Dubrovnik, wouldn't the easy solution have been to tell the Dubrovnik rep to get on the boats and get the catamaran back as usual? Like I said, I'm going to stop asking…. I wish I had thought of this 20 minutes ago when I was woken up by the idiotic frantic phone call. However, I was tired after a big night of looking after 150 people I don't know from a bar of soap. Unacceptable.

We get to Mljet at about 9:30am, and sit around until about 1pm when the first boat docks…thank god we have remembered to bring towels and swimmers and go for a swim to wake ourselves up, we then spend the rest of the day sitting around being tired, writing out vouchers for the buggy/kayak excursion and desperately asking around for a way of getting back to Korcula.

Zoran is also helping with this and manages to find a boat going to Trstenik on the mainland at 5pm, we just finish in time to jump on this boat. They have agreed to take us for free which is really nice of them and we are the only people on it. I put my head down on the wooden bench and go to sleep. I wake up and the sun is setting over the sea, on the opposite side of the boat, the water looks like pink lemonade. For a moment I am grateful for the mad phone call that meant I got to see this beautiful sight. On arrival in Trstenik, a taxi (with a driver we know) is waiting to take us to Orebic which is about half an hours drive. He charges us 300 kuna, we get to Orebic and the ferry back to Korcula isn't for an hour and a half. Natalija snaps, Call Nikki! She yells. (Our best friend on the island) See if he has a mate with a water taxi who can come get us! I do and in ten minutes a water taxi from Korcula shows up and races us back to the island. As I'm on the back of this tender boat in the middle of the sea, racing towards the island in the dark (it is now about 10pm) I realise I'm not even holding on….I'm just so desensitised now. We get back to Korcula and then have to collect our jeep from Zoran's pier in Lumbarda, which is in the middle of nowhere. We make another call to yet another friend, who comes and gets us and drives us to the car. I am super impressed at our resourcefulness. We then go to collect Mia from the bus station, have some food at Nikki's restaurant and the set about organising Wednesday, at about midnight.

Yesterday was the last day I would have to run the buggy/kayak excursion and you know what, it basically went off with out a hitch. We had ten boats in and I was very proud of Natalija and I. Mlini was also in, Bobo quit last week and now they have a new waiter, as soon as I boarded the boat I noticed a different atmosphere, it was kind of like a flat balloon. He was personality plus and the entire crew really worked well together….it had lost its vibe which was a bit sad.

Well, like I said, I'm on the ferry back to Split now and frankly glad of it. I'm off to work on yachts with Med Experience where I will actually have my own groups again, not just 300 faceless strangers. Better times ahead hopefully.