Fully loaded with water-proof gear and our 100 proof Deet bug-repellent, we stepped off the plane to begin an entirely new leg of our adventure. We took a moment to prepare ourselves for the scene which we were likely to meet on the other side of the arrivals gate. They warn you in all the guide books about the hordes of tourist agencies (many of which are scams) that will bombard you the minute you step through the door - so we braced ourselves and with the solid determination ´not to be had`, we emerged on the other side. Everything they tell you is true. All of a sudden we had people from hostels, car rental agencies, and tour guides trying to sell us their services. We quickly walked through the crowd leaving most of them behind, except for one gentleman who was determined not to give up on us. He kept stride with Pat and asked, "You speak English?" Pat replied with a strong "No" and we continued walking. The man was not about to give up and so the conversation continued, "Español?" … "No"… "Portuguese?"… "No"… The man was running out of languages so he began throwing out anything he could think of, "Frances? Italiano?" to which Pat replied, "Soy China" (certainly the man wouldn`t know how to speak Chinese). I couldn`t stop from bursting out in laughter at this point, blowing our entire cover (which to be quite honest, was not as convincing as Pat had thought). The man finally realized we were lying the whole time and that we were just trying to avoid the scammers, so he pulled out his official papers and documents and waved his English-speaking partner over to convince us of their credentials. We realized they were listed in our guide book (which they happened to mention about 400 times) and finally agreed to listen to what their tour consisted of when they offered us a free ride into town (which would have cost $25 in a taxi).

We decided to check into the hotel attached to the tour agency, once again paying a little more money for a room but we really just wanted to relax and be sheltered from the torrential downpours which were flooding the streets outside. We were eventually talked into the tour with the initial tour company, for which we would depart the following morning with a few other people and an ´Italian couple` we would later discover was anything but. We spent the evening relaxing and preparing for our 4-day adventure into the wild, emptying out our packs to take only the necessities with us.We wandered out quite late to try and find a quick bite to eat, realizing quite quickly that not much is open after 10pm. In the hopes of finding something besides fast food we wandered a few blocks away from the main square, and soon found ourselves on prostitute alley.Turning down an offer from a strapping young man-woman in a thong, we decided to turn around and run right back to where we came, pledging to be a little more careful next time and keep to the less shady parts of town come dark.Without many options Pat ended up eating cheeseburgers (much to my delight of course!) and I opted for a healthier choice of chocolate cake and beer. We soon called it a night and headed to bed early so that we could actually wake up on time the following morning.

Bright and early we were en route to the docks in order to board our first boat into the Amazon! We passed through Encontra dos Aguas, which is the meeting of two rivers - Rio Negro and Rio Solimoes. While we didn`t get to see it in all it`s glory due to rough waters and gloomy skies, the sight is still quite remarkable. The two rivers come together without mixing for almost 7 kilometres and eventually merge to form the Amazon River. It is due to drastic differences in temperature (which we were able to test for ourselves), current, and PH levels that these two rivers can along alongside one another without mixing for so long, appearing very much like oil and water. We hit land shortly afterwards and took a bus for an hour and a half, after which we jumped in one more boat that would take us to our final destination - the middle of nowhere in the Amazon jungle. Our home for the next couple days was on Lake Juma, where we were fed incredibly well (although with not much variety), became accustomed to sleeping in hammocks, and could pass much time on the patios watching dolphins. River life was something incredible, as life changes continually with the passing of seasons.In the rainy season entire parts of land are engulfed by water and simply disappear, making the rivers and channels much larger and more abundant as the land is flooded. People live in floating houses and there is one community school per lake where all the students in the area get picked up by boat every morning. Time really doesn`t matter as there is really nowhere to go and not all that much to do. It is a beautifully strange lifestyle and we got a firsthand look at it throughout the next four days.

We arrived at our new home and the whole lot of us was split into our somewhat smaller groups with which we would remain for the next few days. It was at this time that we were formally introduced to Adrian and Catia, the `not-so-Italian´ couple, but our English friends who proceeded to keep us in very good company for the entire length of our time in the Amazon. We also were reacquainted with Noreen, an older woman from Red Deer, Alberta (what are the chances!) who we happened to meet on the plane the day before.Noreen would proceed to go down in the books as one of the most irritating/entertaining/ridiculous individuals we have yet to meet and we all shared many a laugh at her expense.That afternoon there were 11 of us who boarded a rickety little boat to go on a Piranha hunt. We fished with long branches with string tied to one end, using chicken skin on our hooks as bait. It was actually a lot of fun, even though there were only four successful attempts (one by a very proud Pat). The situation was made all the more entertaining with the help of three very annoying Irish girls who screeched and squealed at the sight and sound of everything (everyone knows how much I love girly-girls!). An afternoon of Piranha hunting was followed up with an evening of Caiman spotting - in search of alligators we went! Imagine a boatful of tourists, it`s dark and slightly eerie, we are quietly making our way along the banks of the river and our guide is using a small flashlight to try and pick up the red reflection of the alligators eyes, when BAM! - our guide almost dives off the boat into the water to emerge alligator in hand all within a matter of seconds. Apparently due to the presence of the moon that night they were able to see us coming more easily, so we only managed to catch a couple little ones - but is was really cool to see the little devils up close. We returned to our lodge to see some very strange creature chilling out on the deck in front of the main building. We were all very confused and Pat exclaimed, "I have never seen anything like it, it looks like a turtle without a shell!" We all got very excited - none of us had ever seen a turtle without its shell. Turns out that is not what it was, however the reality was equally shocking. A sloth had been attempting to swim across the river and did not look like it was going to make it, but luckily one of the guides happened to see it and rescued it just in time. The poor creature was soaking wet and drunk! Sloths eat one particular type of tree that contains some sort of drug and makes them move at a ridiculously slow pace. This sad little being was the highlight of the evening and everyone had their turn picking him up posing for photo ops.

My first hammock experience proved very successful, I woke up fully rested and swearing my undying devotion to hammocks for ever more. After breakfast our troop took off once again into the jungle, our plan for the morning was a nature hike. We had no luck spotting wildlife which was incredibly disappointing, but I`ll place all of my blame on the Irish girls who probably scared everything off within 10 miles due to their shrieking, "Oh my god! What is that? Is it in my hair?! Check and see if something is in my hair!!! Owwoeeee!" All that aside, we learned a lot about how resourceful the native people are by using the different types of flora for all kinds of purposes - everything from head and tummy ache medicine, wax, a sound-maker tree to echo messages across the jungle, and of course all the different building materials for their homes. It was an educational venture but we returned with one thought on our minds - where were all the damn monkies?We had had such a hard and strenuous couple of days, so we were given the afternoon off to relax and read in hammocks on the balcony. It rained most of the time we spent in the jungle, but it was more relaxing than annoying. One afternoon when the sun did happen to shine for a few minutes, we counted our lucky stars for the lame weather during our four days spent there - the Amazonian sun is unbearably hot and it becomes painfully humid when it does decide to come out. Our second night was to be spent in the wilderness itself, away from even the minimal comforts of our lodge. Our guide packed a box of hammocks, mosquito nets, and a cooler of food - we packed a 6-pack of beer (after conversing with our English counterparts we decided it was clearly essential for a night in the jungle). Off we went, travelling by boat for almost an hour to arrive at our camp for the evening which was equipped with only a roof under which we would hang our beds. The boys set off to hunt for firewood while Catia, Noreen and I were in charge of hammock duty (Noreen clearly doing more supervising and talking than anything else). We got a fire up and going, watched the sunset, and our guides worked on preparing dinner - Pollo Loco! We ate a very satisfying meal of rice, chicken, and salad - made all the more authentic when everyone gave up on utensils and just ate with their hands.The remainder of that evening can be recalled on with conflicting emotions. Catia and I had decided it would be a very good idea to go on a booze run, enlisting the help of our guide and his boat to go to the teenie-tiny store and buy some Cachaça to make Caipirinhas. We took off into the night with the two guides and an Argentine fellow in search of provisions, leaving Pat and Adrian behind with Noreen and a very strange Swish boy. What could have been a 1.5hr round trip ended up being more like 2.5. We arrived at the store which also had a ´bar` attached - it consisted of a ghetto blaster, two kids playing pool, and a 15-year old girl selling liquor from a broken freezer.Our guides said they couldn`t leave without playing a game of pool (and the one guide couldn`t get enough of the 15-year old bartender), so needless to say it took a little more time to leave than we expected. Catia and I were growing more and more impatient, realizing how upset the guys were going to be, and tried as well as we could to hurry up the situation. Finally we got the ball rolling, we purchased our Cachaça and sugar, I picked the limes off the tree in the backyard, and we set off back to camp, slightly concerned with what we might find upon arrival.Our guys were the only two still up and waiting, just a little pissed at us for being gone so long. The managed to have quite the bonding session in our absence, but said that once they talked about everything under the sun and had started asking about each others families it became a little ridiculous. The situation was far from over as there were a few words exchanged with our guide, shouting how unfair it was for them to have taken so long. He took it as good as could be expected considering he was a very cheap drunk and his 15-year old bartender friend had given him a bottle of pink champagne. Finally the four of us decided to move on, forget about it, and drink our Cachaça. The evening winded down around the fire and almost everyone went to bed pleasantly intoxicated - save for Catia, who may have had a few too many Caiprinhas and definitely left her mark in the jungle and in our hearts that night hahaha.Just a little tired the next day, we woke up to a slightly awkward situation. Our guide was quite uncomfortable after the confrontation from the night before and Catia was slightly embarrassed from her drunken ramblings which she couldn´t remember haha.

We packed up camp rather quickly and made our way to a native family´s home where we were to have breakfast. It was very neat to be inside their home and see how they live. A very large family all resides under one roof separated into about three spaces. Their main source of survival is the farming of Manioch (or Cassava) from which they can make flour and tapioca. The products are used more as bargaining tools and for trade than for sale, meaning that there is virtually no actual profit for the family apart from survival. We headed back to our main lodge to hang out for a few hours and got ready for our canoe trip into the river channels. The afternoons excursion had Pat, Adrian and I in one canoe (Catia decided to take the day off and recouperate haha) and our guide and Noreen in the other. The funniest part about the entire situation was watching Noreen LAY in the back of the canoe singing "Going on a monkey hunt!" and doing absolutely nothing, while our guide paddled and navigated all by himself. She even had the balls at one point to say, "Wow, this is kind of tiring!"While there were no monkies to be seen, the trip was an absolute hoot anyway. We had quite the time trying to navigate through all of the trees and at one point even ended up high-centred on a branch stemming from a broken tree at the bottom of the canal. No matter how hard we paddled or rocked we couldn´t get our canoe loose and only succeeded in spinning around and around like fools until our guide finally came back to rescue us about 10 minutes later. Pat was in the front of the canoe and really got the worst of everything as we ran into trees, bushes, logs, and pretty much anything else we could find. Unfortunately there are few pictures to document the hilarity of this event as we found ourselves caught in an absolute Amazonian downpour, of which we enjoyed every minute. Tired, soaking wet, and satisfied we paddled home to our lodge to clean ourselves up and enjoy one last night relaxing on Lake Juma.

It was our final day in the Amazon jungle and we had one last activity on the itinerary - to visit the Rubber Man!We set off down river and immediately were rewarded with wildlife! We slowed the boat to watch a sloth in the tree, who got scared when we arrived and started to try and get away… a slightly entertaining effort as in the height of his fear he moved down the tree about 3 feet per minute.We arrived at a cute little Amazon house and were greeted by an even cuter old man. The 84-year old gentleman is the oldest man in the area and it was his father who was the first to arrive in the entire region. The family has a long history of rubber farming but as the overseas factories began producing it cheaper it became a hobby for the man and now he only does it for tourists. We had the pleasure of watching this man stoke a fire and make us a rubber boot - just one. He had a number of molds for boots as well as a plethora of different sized condom molds - apparently people actually bought these rubber, multiple-use condoms from him at one point (and not just as a joke like all the tourists do!) It was a really great experience as Pat and I always love any opportunity we have to meet and learn about the local people wherever we can.We headed back to camp where we were to gather our stuff and jump on the main boat that would take us back to Manaus. On the way we finally realized our dream - while only for a fleeting moment - there were MONKIES! Impossible to capture on film as there were migrating in the tops of the trees, but we were ecstatic to say the least. Our mission finally accomplished, we headed back to civilization.

Back in the shady city of Manaus, we took real showers and put on clean clothes for the first time in four days. The owner of the tour company asked us about our experience and we took the opportunity to complain about our group of 11 people during the first two days when we had been told from the beginning it would have a maximum of 7 (we felt quite justified in this considering how much we paid for the excursion!). It turned out to be a very good move as the owner quickly realized how important it was to keep his good reputation (especially among 60 other tour companies). He paid for one of our nights at the hotel at as well as for our taxi to the airport, ultimately saving us quite a bit of money (Pat noted a lesson well-learned from his Dad - it doesn`t hurt to complain when something isn`t quite as it should be).After soaking up all the amenities of our hotel room for a couple hours, we finally dragged ourselves, as well as Adrian and Catia who were staying in the same hotel, away from the movie ´Stepmom` to grab a bite to eat. We dined fashionably on two ginormous pizzas, a few celebratory beers, and some good conversation. Pat and I must look as poor and pathetic as our bank accounts, for our wonderful English friends treated us to the meal (thank you again!!!). We then wandered across the square to another patio where we had a couple more beverages and were approached at our table by a girl with a piece of paper in her hand that read, "Me friend like you, call us 555-5434" hahaha. Apparently two guys sitting at a table with two girls means they are clearly single and available. We had quite the chuckle trying to figure out who the hell it came from, needless to say I told Pat he couldn`t call. The rest of the night was fairly uneventful as we wandered to the only club within walking distance, which ended up being a gay strip joint (good one guys). Sitting on another sketchy patio, having a few more drinks, and me almost falling asleep in my chair, we realized it was way past our bedtimes and needed to hit the hay.

We had scheduled too much time in Manaus and ended up with a couple days to kill before our plane left bound for Argentina. So the next day was spent wandering around in the Sunday market with Adrian and Catia. We enjoyed a tower of beer in the Port and enjoyed more sunshine that afternoon than the entire time we had been in Manaus so far. We snuck in one more dinner date that evening at a steakhouse with our two English friends, as they were to board a plane to Iguazu falls a few hours later. The remainder of our time in Manaus was spent trying to kill it. We did laundry, caught up on the internet, enjoyed our last night in Brazil, and celebrated getting the hell out of Brazil. We boarded a plane at midnight, chalk full of amazing memories from our month long stay, but more than ready to leave the costly country behind.