"Hey, something weird is happening here, there's water squirting my butt"

Those words, uttered at 4am of our first morning, began our vacation in Japan.

One of our clan said this - was it:

a) Karyn in a Japanese ryokan communal bathing area

b) 6 year-old Ani after falling into the foyer water display at the Sheraton Miyako hotel

c) 4 year-old Rowan sitting on a Japanese toilet

d) Russ in a faulty United Airlines #837 bathroom enroute to Narita

All will be revealed at the end… so to speak

We were happy to join our great friends the Graziano's / G4's on a segment of their around the world, semi-permanent vacation, aka "roll the dice on sketchy house renters, discover the joys of negative cash flow, leave the bubble of Americana suburbia for hostels and street food" once-in-a-lifetime soul enriching adventure. Put another way, they decided to live like bums for a year, albeit wearing top shelf REI gear and staying plugged to the grid via iPhones, iPads, torrent downloads and the NY Times app. In our house, we called it careerus interuptus.

However, we also admired their courage and upon hearing of their plans, immediately agreed to meet them somewhere, anywhere. Which turned out to be Nippon.

This was our first international trip with our kids, and began in classic Colorado fashion - a blizzard hit the night before and morning of our flight to SFO. We parked in a remote lot which seemed like Wyoming, made the flight, and burned through 3 DVDs of Tom & Jerry cartoons, and several Leapfrog games on the way to Narita. By this point the G4's had already been in Japan a few days, on recon and I'm confident Anthony (code name Subway Rat) was already studying the Tokyo JR line maps. I had offered to pick up the tour guide baton upon arrival, sensing they were down to the wick on planning and organizing. So we arrived with a file folder full of activities and 20+ Japan guide apps, natch.

The first morning of our arrival we woke at 4am, and since nobody could sleep, we toured the garden behind our hotel, walking the kids around predawn. Ani stashed essentially half an azalea bush in her pocket, Rowan almost knocked down a 300-year old Buddha statue, and Karyn and I plotted the coordinates to the nearest Starbucks, while the G4's were still dreaming of Breaking Bad episodes and/or Final Four tournament results, which we discovered they were watching on their iPad during this leg of their trip.

Our first sight was walking through a Pachinko parlor next to Shinagawa station, full of smoking patrons and the sound of hundreds of blaring machines and J-Pop. A young girl stood outside in a light blue whale / alien / kuromi costume, attempting to entice people inside, since this kind of getup has seemingly served that purpose well. Thus began the first in an endless parade of animated / cartoon / anime type characters, selling everything from seaweed, cars, cameras, beer, clothing to airplane tickets.

We jumped the subway, Anthony and I alternating command and control on which line and direction. We headed to the Ishikawa Sake Brewery, about an hour out of Tokyo. A guide who valiantly labored through an English language script punctuated the tour. Forever after, we know this as the "Blewely" tour. Heading back to Tokyo, we wandered the electronic district Akihabara, where we discovered the unique delicacy of takoyaki, or to the amusement of all - known commonly as octopus balls. Yes, they are served in pairs.

We then hit our first ramen noodle shop, and painfully began to understand the process of purchasing a ticket, then handing the ticket to the cook, rather than simply ordering your meal and paying afterwards. One of the cooks, who called himself "Tom", asked for a picture with Ani, and I think his Shinto soul is now blessed a thousand fold for holding a golden child with hazel eyes. A postscript on this ramen ordering process - I learned the hard way to collect your change from the machine after punching your order and getting your ticket - an can assure everyone that a $100 ramen lunch doesn't taste any better than a $10 version.

There are many stories to tell, and Amy and Anthony have already written a lot, so at this point, I'll share a few highlights from the LeFevre family lens:

* In Japan, taxi drivers could double as English butlers, as they all wore white gloves, ties and were exceedingly polite and subservient

* Ani our blond daughter, buying a box of Pocky chocolates at a convenience store, wearing an Ultraman mask, handing a 500 yen coin to a teenage cashier wearing a surgical mask. This is no big deal evidently, not one side glance or quizzical look from either party

* Karyn and I having an argument at Ueno Zoo on which direction the squirrel exhibit was, proving that it ain't the miles, location or company, married couples will spat anywhere. This caused much amusement with Amy and Anthony, who assured us they hadn't had one argument their entire trip, and in fact their marriage and travel planning was harmonious

* We accidentally / thankfully hit Japan in the absolute prime of cherry blossom (sakura) blooming. This explains the difficulty we all had in finding any kind of accommodations, particularly in Kyoto, as people were flocking to prime viewing areas. It's an intense and quasi-spiritual season for the Japanese, and sakura viewing is a seasonal rite - thousands of pedestrians packed the park near the zoo, with blankets spread out under the trees for viewing, eating and drinking

* Street foods in Kyoto - you never know what you're eating, and sometimes that's the way you should keep it. Kudo's to Karyn for hitting the garlic potato popsicle

* Sam with "Gentleman's Manager" title on his business card, and his semi-English explanation of the "Soft Jelly Cup" in Shinjuku, home of Nigerian barkers and Japanese-men only establishments

* The clean everything - streets, subways, buses, sidewalks. It was difficult to find trashcans, because you don't eat or drink on the move - you throw stuff away where you buy it, or you discard it at home

* Our son Rowan totally milking it as the youngest kid in the group and coaxing teenage Celeste to carry him around

* Plastic food displays in restaurant windows that sometimes look better than the meal themselves

* Celeste, Nina, Ani and Rowan catching falling cherry blossom petals in the zoo, the park, and almost everywhere went throughout Japan, like falling snow in Colorado. This sight made me ever thankful for my children, who find such joy in simple things like this

* Having to wear a do-rag at the hotel pool and a sign proclaiming "no swimmers with tattoos allowed"

* Ani the horticulturalist / kleptomaniac, collecting flowers, sticks, acorns, moss and leaves, all of which we discovered in

coat pockets and stuffed inside of hoodies and suitcases when we got back and did the laundry

* My amazing wife Karyn getting invited to the front of class by a Tae Bo instructor in Tokyo, while Ani mirrored her moves in the back of the room. My heart burst with pride on both counts

* Nina playing cards with Ani on the bullet train, laughing when they won hands, like two veteran card sharks

* Rowan completely bonking most nights around 8, literally out cold (in subway station, in taxi, while being carried, etc). It's amazing how much heavier a flat-out 40-pounds feels versus a kid who's awake

* Walking through Shinagawa station during morning rush hour, feeling like a salmon swimming downstream against a sea of Japanese humanity going upstream

* Ani lost her last upper front tooth while we were in Tokyo, and the tooth fairy still came with a US dollar!

* You want red bean bun cakes morning noon and night? You got it!

* Standing obediently in single file lines behind the yellow line at subway stops

* You want ramen noodles 24/7? Say no more!

* Rowan the ladies man, hitting it with a young Japanese woman at his first ever baseball game - the Hanshin Tigers versus Tokyo Yakult Swallows. She was so taken by him, she bought him a souvenir. The expression on his face in the enclosed picture will be eerily replicated in about 20 years, on his wedding day

* Karyn almost going Girls Gone Wild at the Sapporo beer hall, much to the delight of the oh-so-discrete but noticing drunk Japanese salarymen

* The thousands of origami paper cranes in Kyoto and Hiroshima

* Sleeping in a Japanese ryokan hotel, on tatami mats and futon beds, and bathing in a Japanese communal tub - complete with bucket and stool in the shower area

* The smells and sights of countless unknown foods in open air markets, ranging from fish to fowl to vegetables and fruits

* Fushimi Inari shrine torii gates and the walk up the mountain with our reward being a bowl of ramen and a Kirin beer at the top

* The sight of Ani running up the right side of escalators in the subway stations, going with the flow of Japanese folks rushing to work (stand left, walk right)

* Walking through the Gion district in Kyoto, in the rain and dusk, with the lit-up cherry blossom trees and lanterns guiding the way

* Final night at a Japanese steak house in Shinjuku, and meeting wise man / cook Fujiwara, who, when asked where he went on vacation replied "Guam, for the drinking". He then asked Anthony and I if we had any pictures of "Colorado women"

* Vending machine beer everywhere, forever sealing Japan in my heart and liver

As to the words uttered at the beginning of this Blog, which are now part of our family lore, they came from Rowan, on the occasion of his christening our bathroom on our first day. He inadvertently hit the bidet button on the toilet console….

Japan is an amazing and intriguing country, and we had a great time visiting it with the G4's, who to this day, have not had one travel related argument….

Russ