This is what boredom forces you to do. Make something out of nothing. Like they do on Blue Peter when they aren't doing coke. Whether I am making anything at all out of nothing is open to debate and I shall leave you to decide as you are all very intelligent but I am bored as f*** at the moment.

Vientiene was a somewhat weird experience. How could a capital city decide that it will shut down, every night, without fail, at 11pm? I'd say it probably has somehing to do with the Laos government making it the law for you to do so. How do they enforce this? I am yet to see police knock on hotel room doors and see whether you are in bed. 'You're not in bed! Get in bed you white motherf***er!' Or words to that effect.

Arriving in Laos marked a massive sea change from Cambodia, especially the constant hustle and bustle of Phnom Penh. I have only been offered drugs once and that was by the tuk tuk driver who took me from the airport to my hotel. My hotel was fine although I found it hard to believe that they were busy as the staff had told me. I saw roughly 8 people.

Strolling round Vientiene didn't knock me for six. Not even a four. Perhaps a couple of runs hit off a wayward attempt of a yorker. Having been heavily bombed in some sort of war, all the buildings, or near enough had been reconstructed in the late 20's onwards so there was little charm about them. Not even art deco. Disappointing. As for things to do, I had kind of exhausted the city after a couple of hours of going round the markets. The town was dead. I was walking everywhere and could go from one end to the other in little over 15 minutes. I spent one whole day searching for cheap silver to adorn myself with. I dont even really like jewelry. Thats how bored I was. I spent one hour (a whole hour) in a hardwear shop cum fashion house. It was like a Laos equivalent of Wilkos. They even sold fake G star shorts. I wish I'd bought some now. Honest.

I was walking round the market (looking for cheap silver jewely. I don't even really like jewelry) and saw 3 policemen sat down playing cards and drinking coffee, each with their sub machine guns sat next to them. I would have loved to have taken a picture but didnt much feel like getting shot. I hadn't even found a decent ring yet. I didnt find any cheap silver jewelry at all. Well, not any that I liked, which I suppose isn't all that surprising given that I dont like jewelry much. There was a building next to my hotel that had the word 'atomic' engraved on it. I didnt even get round to taking a photo of that. Instead I watched dreamgirls which was pretty awful. But then again, I hate musicals. Blood diamond was good though. And then another day I watched the first episode of Flight of the Conchords which cheered me up a bit.

I went to a bar that was recommended by the Lonely Liar. I say I went there, I got as far as the top of the stairs and then left. It looked horiffic. Got back to the hotel and booked a minibus to Vang Vieng which is where I am now. It feels like someone has taken a bit of Khao San road from bangkok and put it in the middle of laos. Opposite this internet cafe, there is a restaurant serving fish and ships, chicken pie and full english breakfasts. At night, scum spill out onto the streets and scream 'oi, mate, where are my f***ing fags?' and 'Tracy! Where the f*** is Stacy?'

I suppose I'll have to go tubing at some point before I go to Luang Prabang. Its supposed to be a lot of fun . But I feel ill at the moment. And slightly paranoid. There is a fish bowl next to me. I want to throw it through the glass door.

I don't feel good. My thumbs have gone weird. I'm in the middle of a bloody overdose. Oh God. My heart's beating like a f***ed clock. I feel dreadful, I feel really dreadful.