Hello Alex, it's James again can't wait for the summer. Vietnam sounded amazing. We have celebrated Georgina's 16th birthday we went out a place called Willington Hall for a meal. Lucia comes home on monday and I start year 11 next year, Antonia starts university next year. What's Cambodia like then?. I'm at Luigi's and Auntie Katie's house, I have to make Auntie Katie breakfast in bed tommorow as it's her birthday and I've just been in the Aston Martin which Luigi is borrowing. I've just looked at your photo's, you look as if you're having the time of your life. When are you coming back to England?.

Hello Alex haven't spoken to you in months. Coincidentally I have been learning about the Vietnam war, the Vietcong tactics etc, Saigon sounds beautiful. I'm jealous because we are stuck here in the cold and rainy U.K and you're in sunny Vietnam.

I would now love to go to Vietnam some time in the future. Thailand also sounds amazing, love to go there as well.

I've just done a 14 mile sponsored walk, I'm just about to go on a barge holiday and at the moment we're at Auntie Katie's and Luigi's house. You'll be pleased to know that Lucia has passed her first year at University and working at my dad's old firm in Manchester during the summer time before we go off to France.

I've told people at school about you being in Vietnam, and we're all missing you in dismal, cold, wet England in what's supposed to be summer. I hope I see you soon.

...I see. Well, of course, this is just the sort of blinkered philistine pig-ignorance I've come to expect from you non-creative garbage. You sit there on your loathsome spotty behinds squeezing blackheads, not caring a tinker's cuss for the struggling traveller. You excrement, you whining hypocritical toadies with your Ipods, your fake waxed hair styles and your semi-literate outpourings. Well I wouldn't be in the rainy, drought ridden, UK right now if you went down on your lousy stinking knees and begged me! PS, you can't beat a spot of plagiarism!

So called friends?! Mrs newsome, we all care very deeply for young alexander and try our very best to keep an eye on the boy's antics. Im sure the image of the quiet, sensible, caring young man you have is very true whilst he's at home, however, when the cats away blah blah blah....., the kid is his own worst enemy, thank heavens for woodsy's babysitting duties out in the far east, we'd never see the boy again!

what a cheek. i did write the message on the board, not one of your so called friends!

Just a quicky (story of my life) but: Birdy, I do know the stats game, I was being coy, I also can't wait to hold you. And Darcey, my banjo string is fine and intact, thank you so much for your concern.

rather look smart than an argiculture worker/refugee on a beach holiday!

birdy, what happened with the moddeling? i thought you were the new face of jack wills 'camping it up'?!

as usual winky a lot of chat and not much else, all fart and no S**T!!! just got an e-mail from the uni apparentlyy ive lost a journal and im in big trouble going to get fined within an inch of my life! LIVID. woodsy if you dont know the stats game by now at the tender age of 28 i guess you never will! gutted my money was on you bringing that trophy home! oh well. ive even started lokking for a job how things have changed? ive applied to work as a room service supervisor in a 5 star hotel, hopefully i should see some sights! anywyas got to go and cook my chicken.

laters, Birdy,

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

P.S. woodsy cant wait till hold you in my arms again and smell your scent! ; )

well well well mrs newsome, i was sadly unable to make alexs leaving do at your house. i am not a nice young boy as you describe the other reprebates, are you sure you met nathan thomas zachary bird? However im affraid i must admit to being one of these dark influences that alex met at university and i could only smile happily at the pictures of alex passed out. At least he hasnt started to pee himself which is definately a plus point. conrad your chat is gash, as the former president of tooth club i am ashamed at the degree of rubbish u sprout. i seem to remember carrying u into the cider farm after your unfortunate loss to me over 20meters. luke my mrs has also decided to join estrogen club and had an hour of anti male banter on the fone earlier. woodsy chin up regarding palace- also hows your banjo string? finaly winky, hope lifes good over there and that your having fun. ive nearly finished - one exam mate and i could graduate. keep getting lashed up, watch out for jail bate in cambodia, should be rather easier to spot than in england. however gary glitter managed to get sucked in by it so keep your guard up.

darce x

Well well, what can i say? Im surprised it has taken 7 weeks for birdy to get bored enough to result to using my site as a banter board and a method of impersonating and incriminating his fellow ex housemates and friends. I guess the whole pippa situation distracted him somewhat!

If you want to talk about filth mr bird...let me tell you i have a file on you! Its pages long and appropriately named the filth files..and i have some incriminating stuff that a certain sarah would not find amusing!

Seriously though, loving the banter boys! Though i doubt very much my mum wrote what she apparantly has on the board! Darcy - good to hear from you mate, im glad your looking forward to punishing the fresh...it was and obviously still remains your favourite past time! Conrad - awesome banter about darcy, alls fair in love and war etc! Birdy - great news to hear that your truely in love this quick! I will see you in London in a year mate! I told you we would all be there! We just have to wait for alex to give luke the ultimatum about moving with her, and before you knows it.....the boys will be house sharing in central london! Bring it on! Luke - whats the craic with aus? Im mad keen for meeting up in sydney!

Well well well this really has turned into a banter board hasn't it, and will the real Conrad Jones please stand up, please stand up, etc. Good to hear you giving as good as you get mate, love the rugby all your life Birdy Banter. And Birdy I've seen you getting gassed by many a person including myself on Croyde beach. Plus me and Conrad kept gassing you on the escalators in Madrid. But what are these stats you are on about bird, I'm at a loss. Weasel face I have no doubt of the states you allegedly found Winky in, he's making it a real habit- "must be the hot weather and the different food I'm not used to it.. etc, etc". Lloyd I'm defo envious of the sex and the city marathon, if there's one thing I'll always miss about living in the uni house it was the 'Oestrogen Evenings' that came once in a full moon (I make that once every 28 days, like some sort of mental cycle?) where the girls would lay claim to the tv and it was our job to make ourselves scarce lest we be exposed to flying tissues, red wine and anti-male propoganda; ahhh, those were the days. Anyway amigos, we're in Cambodia on a beach town, I'll let Winky do a faggy update soon and he can tell you all about it (in true edited fashion with a PG rating of course). Shazaam, Woodsy x