yet another angry bout from angry Jason, my tail of woe starts off like this, we had changed our flights to leave India on the 28th to Singapore, after calling Qantas in Mumbai to do this we had to fill in forms (yeah more forms) fax tickets and call back before the close at 5.30, called back at 4.30 and they where closed? there is nothing that makes sense in this god forsaken smelly hell. i call the UK office, changed the flights in a matter of minutes..... yes yes UK! well done old chap. so with a 15 hr over night bus booked for the 27th and a over night flight to Singapore on the 28th i decide its a great idea to get as drunk as i can, drinking in my usual style to 6.30 in the morning. after 3 hours sleep and a hangover from hell, we get a local bus to join our over nighter, it was packed already, smelly hot and hungover we perch on the back, as they pile more and more people on, then more and more people, yes and then more people, by this point we cant breath move or scratch our bums, forcing our way forward we abandon the local bus after a hour of being a ill treated sardine for the luxury of a taxi! a measure i believe saved my soul! over night bus was fine, it was rather pleasant even, if you count one toilet stop in 15 hrs pleasant. with a day to kill in mumbai we catch the new Bond movie, after being shown to our seats we have to rise for the national anthem witch sounds like a mix between patriotic bolloywood meets Casio keyboard with Rolf Harris in control. half way though the film a interval ! NOW THE FUN BEGINS........(bear in mind my state of mind with 2 night of little to no sleep) . we arrive at the bureaucratic paperwork armed Gard cest pit called "Mumbai international airport" all hail her Glory. the Gard's want to see our valid tickets before we can enter, we don't have valid tickets for the 9th, i changed them by phone and need to get INSIDE THE AIRPORT to have new ones printed. the problem of no ticket no entry starts... you can see where this is going. he has orders, and of course there isn't any other way of doing things other than the way his little bit of paper says? that would be to much for his tiny little mind. after some time we talk me inside but kat has to wait out side with the bags on her own in the smoggy heat. for over a hour! i go to B.A desk as they are our carrier, " hi i need my new tickets printed please, they said you will do it here" no i have to go back to central mumbai, but anyway its not them that have to do it as im flying with Qantas, who have put us on a Jet airways flight......... so we booked though B.A, who booked though Qantas who in turn put us on Jet Airways. and i need a ticket to fly thats got the right date on. just the fact I'm visibly on the flight as per there PC isnt enough. i run to jet airways office, they tell me to go away. i run to Qantas, they are closed. i run back to Jet and tell them they have to do something the tell me to go away, i run round in circle's that make me dizzy so i end up back at Jet Airwways. they print me off a little bit of paper after a hour of talking..... wicked. the Gard's let us in, we go to check in, our troubles are over the taste of freedom soon to be in my dry and dusty mouth, our exit from india, so long awaited is soon to be with us. NO. the check in staff tell me this isn't a ticket, i need a valid ticket, they can see I'm booked on the flight, but don't know what buttons to press what forms to fill in and where to put their beloved rubber stamp. manager's where called, buttons where pressed, mobiles rang, after 45 Min's at the check in desk they agree to take us! yes we may get what we paid for after all. but now security are taking my security seal off my bag, i had opened it to put in stuff from my hand luggage, as they tair it up in front of me as if to run my face in it! i have got and get it re sealed, go back to check in. they take our bags. we are almost there, next one more form to fill in, then pass immigration....... we join a Que, a very long Que, we wait in it for almost a hour again. (but a very good English Q it was compared to the usual form of pushing shoving and spitting) Finlay we get there, we get the relevant stamps with their idled rubber stamper, Freedom is here! we are out of this bloody country for good, i haven't really slept for 3 days, i have filled in more forms than a s.a.s applicant, argued with B.A, Jet Airways, Armed Gard's and almost Qantas (if they wernt the only airline to close at stupid times) we get on the plain, with joy, I'm so tierd i almost pass out before our in flight meal of regurgitated chicken in rice is deliverd. After getting off the plain and kissing the clean and orderly streets of Singapore we head for our hostel, guess what part of Town its in LITTLE INDIA...... there truly is no escape!