Okay, I'll come clean. Last night I crashed my scooter. Crash is being more than a little hyperbolic. Let me explain, though I'm sure that Chelsea's account of the situation will have been a life threatening experience from which we staggered away with blood pumping out of ruptured arteries. All that actually happened was when we were pulling out of a very rocky car park with Chelsea on the back we hit a loose stone and the wheel juddered to the right where I los...

That bloody rooster. Every morning. Every bloody morning. 6AM on the dot. I find that I eat chicken with even more vigour than usual in the afternoons as a result of opening my stinging eyeballs in the morning to stare mutinously at the bottom of the bunk above me with that sodding thing squarking next door! Oh yes, me and Chelsea are now sharing a single bottom bunk - for anyone that doesn't know chelsea can emit the heat of a volcanic eruption and kick better t...

As Chelsea is selfishly doing here PADI open water course, which I didn't do due to financial restraints and a lingering ear infection, I was left to wander Panglao on my tod. In order to entertain myself I thought that it was high time that I learnt to ride a motorbike, and where better to learn than a foreign country where there are no rules and no NHS? I scouted out a particularly exotic looking little ditty and beat Jorge, the salesman, down from 800PHP a d...

We made our way to the infamous Chocolate Hills today as they are said to be Bohol's number one must see. We caught a bus there from Tagbilaran which turned out to be incredibly lengthy and not air conditioned. I also had the pleasure of an elderly Filipino man breathing rattling and seductive breaths against the nape of my neck for most of the journey, it was very bizarre and in the end I actually turned around and asked him to stop - the popcorn box on his lap ...