Week Beginning 12.09.09

Our weekly 'You couldn't make it up' slot:

Policemen sent to round up the banana sex cultist at Yamine are one day from the village. Latest reports suggest the six mobile-squad policemen are still trudging through the thick jungle with creeks, gullies and steep mountains to cross.

The cultists are led by a man who has forced illiterate villagers to engage in public sex, believing that their banana crop would multiply tenfold if they did so.

When the mobile police arrived they decided to sleep on it and hatch a plan overnight to capture the leader. The next morning they surrounded the suspect's house and called him out (good plan).

Out of the house came two naked women used as decoys - the armed police claiming they were used as human shields to avoid a shoot-out....or were they just ogling while the culprit with bow and arrows got away?

Talking of police: we visited the police station to put into motion our 'Character References' ready for when we leave PNG (it's the equivalent of a CRB police check in UK). Once we had paid at the finance dept of the provincial office, we took our receipt to CID. The station is incredibly run down, complete with eau d'urine spray.

If hardened criminals were imprisoned in those conditions, you'd think they were having it tough.Anyway we were taken to the homicide room for fingerprinting (Mike was disturbed to see buttock 'prints' on the floor), but once there the forms couldn't be found, which was hardly surprising considering the lack of a filing system.

So we awaited a 'phone call to let us know they've found the appropriate forms - by which time we hope they haven't 'filed' our receipts in unknown places. Our fingerprints will then be sent to Port Moresby and compared with the criminal database, then we are given the all-clear certificate. This takes around one month - which could mean two, which is why we're applying now. The phone call came and we were summoned the next day to complete the process.

Unexpectedly we made a second visit to the police station on that very same day, following an unfortunate incident involving two of our volunteer colleagues. Alfred was due to deliver in-service training with a cluster of primary schools. Philip accompanied him to help carry items needed. They travelled by PMV, but then had to walk to the host school from the main road. Without warning, two 'rascals' (that means assailants here) were grabbing their bags. At first Alfred thought they were trying to carry things for them to be helpful, but then he turned to see a bush knife hovering over Philip's neck. They snatched a projector from Alfred by hitting his arm very hard and grabbed the laptop that Philip was carrying at the same time as injuring his hand. They were both dumbfounded by the suddenness of the assault but very shortly after, about 40 locals had mobilised themselves to run off into the bush to try to catch the culprits.After giving statements they came into Kundiawa hospital to get checked out. We walked up carrying supplies of clean and sterilised bandages, needles, splints and a packet of painkillers taken from the VSO paramedic case, for hospitals here can be short of such items. Luckily, there was no breakage to Alfred's arm, but it was painful and held in a thin 'sling' which we replaced with a more substantial triangular bandage. Philip's hand was grazed but ok! The police wouldn't go out to investigate unless they were given fuel money. The education office stumped up the 200 kina (£40)

Today, Alfred and Philip went to the police station to identify one of the culprits and collect the stolen equipment. With a lack of two-way mirrors, they had to identify one of their assailants face to face and then watch while the police beat him up.

Independence Day 2010 celebrates the 34th year of independence. No-one seems to know what is happening. Alison met the Chimbu Coordinator for Culture and Tourism a few days ago who said he's been organising a singsing for the past 10 months and expects 10,000 to attend in Kundiawa. It seems to be news to all the locals here and there's not a jot of promotion or advertisement of the event to be seen.

But there was a bit of a do at the rugby field. We were the only white people there and they were keen to make way so we got a good view. The dances were fascinating and the costumes were a marvel. We saw a lady selling the feathers for a headdress - 40Kina each (£8). You can imagine how costly a whole headdress is - they are like family heirlooms individually stored in cardboard tubes for the next occasion.

The team has been running a two day Leadership and Management Conference for senior staff and that was very successful.We put on another of our role plays and Mike was a belligerent teacher - a role he found very easy.

We organised with the hotel to host a meal on the first evening with a guest speaker from Port Moresby education department. We confirmed the arrangements on the first morning- giving the arrangements in writing, we confirmed numbers at lunchtime, we reminded them as we left at 5.10 that we would be back at 6.30 for the meal. We arrived at 6.30 and they looked surprised and said they hadn't realised it was that night!! 30 guests arrived and had to hang round till 8.00 ish until the meal and room was ready. During that time the power went off and on 10 times. It was farcical. The plan is not to use that hotel again but it is the only one!

We are off to Kavieng in the morning. We'll let you know next week how we got on.

Anyway, love to all

Ali & Mike