21st: Chitwan is, quite literally, a breath of fresh air. Our lodge, Jungle Wildlife Camp, lies just on the river, far enough away from the general tourist mass to be quiet and relatively unspoiled. The rooms are clean, the food is good and the extras are cheap as we're out of the city.

But to describe how the day began, we had some delays checking out of Kathmandu Guest House and had to frogmarch it to the "bus station" (line of buses on a busy street). Before we got there I felt a tickle in my hand that was holding our overnight bakery goods for breakfast. Ants. A few on my arm and a heck of a lot more in the bag. It seems my forward thinking breakfast was actually just an overnight buffet. In the bin it went. Emergency Nutrigrain bars to the rescue.

The bus ride was long, rough, bumpy, dusty and just a little insane. I lost count of the number of times Gez has his head in his hands at some of the suicidal overtaking manoeuvres we experienced. It seemed like this was par for the course though, as everybody was doing it, although a ludicrously near miss with an oncoming lorry didn't make us feel any better! I was trying to go with the flow, telling myself this is obviously normal. Obviously.

We got there at around 2-3pm and we were treated to lunch at the camp. I settled into a hammock and began leeching the free wifi for all it was worth, including one gratuitous Facebook message that I'm sure annoyed lots of people! Sorry.

We took a look at the elephant sanctuary that evening, came back, ate, relaxed and generally felt good. It was so refreshing to be away from the dust and dirt of the city. Where have I heard that before?

22nd: A leisurely start and we began with an elephant back safari through the forest and jungle. Riding on an elephant is predictably uncomfortable, and the four people being carried each face different directions like sentry watches in the corners of a tower. Despite that, we didn't see much. A few deer, a monkey and a crocodile at best.

Another leisurely lunch and then a canoe ride down the river. We saw a lovely big crocodile basking in the sun. During our jungle walk, we saw millions of red cotton bugs (they're literally everywhere), a kamikaze peacock and a few leeches who decided to pay a visit to various parts of people's bodies, including my trousers. No tigers or rhinos today.

We crossed the river and had some beers, some spiced veg and peanuts (lovely) and a buffet dinner. I played a bit of guitar and the older folks just got drunk. Ho hum... back to Kathmandu tomorrow. I don't want to leave!