We arrived in downtown LA at midday on Thursday where sadly we were to part ways for a few days.Olli would get the next bus to San Diego where he would hopefully finally get his re-routed glasses and also see an old friend from the Kent swimming team.I would be staying in LA and seeing a friend called Chris.It is certainly worth mentioning that while on the way to LA we stumbled across, or maybe they stumbled across us, the worst immigration officers we have seen to date.They hover around close to the border looking for illegal immigrants then get on the bus and talk to everyone.They asked me where I was going and I told them LA.It transpires that what they had actually asked was where I was born.Hey if they couldn't be bothered to pick up on the accent which clearly was not American then I was not going to correct them.Otherwise I would have had to actually wake up as Olli had been forced to do to find his passport and I94 stamp whilst answering stupid questions."So when did you get to America?", "January", "which year?" "er 2011 like the stamp says…"

Getting up to Hollywood from the LA greyhound station meant my most dangerous journey to date.I had to ride the bus in downtown LA.I walked to the bus stop where there was a pair of trousers on the floor.Who the owner and the rest of the clothes were is anybody's guess.Luckily the bus came fairly quickly and an hour and a half (and a ride on the subway latter) I was checking into the banana bungalow.It was not yellow.It did not have a giant banana on top.They just liked the name.the staff couldn't be assed and looked bored which I think set the vibe for the entire hostel.Most of the people there ignored each other and treated one another which much suspicion but that was fine because I am not travelling to sit glaring at other people in a hostel and pushed me to do as much stuff in LA as possible.

When we parted at the LA bus station we decided that there should be a little competition to see who could do the most random/outrageous thing over the next few days.I decided to get straight to work because I had heard the stories of Ollis time in China and I don't like losing.That afternoon I did a 12mile round walk to and into Beverley hills.I have never seen houses like that in all my life.They are completely mind blowing.I saw Dean Martins old place which seemed to go on forever and rents for around $60,000 a month!When I got back the hostel I reflected and thought it had been a nice interesting day but really wouldn't cut it as far as the competition went.So that night I did one of the craziest things of my life thing ever - at least in the last 6 years.I had an early night and a full 12 hours sleep!

My main concern regarding the competition was that being so close to the border Olli and his friend may head down to Tijuana.To be on the safe side I decided it was time to get as tattoo.Now this was not a rash decision as it has been something I have been thinking of for some time now.But it was the perfect opportunity.I saw a poster on Kats wall which finally gave me some inspiration and one of the people I met played volleyball with in Miami also helped.On Friday I popped into the tattoo shop and had a chat with Maurice "spooky" who sketched out a few designs.I spent the rest of the afternoon checking reviews and walking around some other the other Tattoo shops.I got soaked through in the rain and in the end went back to spooky across the road.

On Saturday morning I went to the Peterson car museum as suggested by my dad.He thinks he is always right but for the most part we all humour him to keep the peace.I will hand it to him this time though he was right - the place is amazing.In the afternoon I met up with guy I know called Chris and his girlfriend and they took me down to Venice beech where the shops make it like a mini Camden Market.Weed has of course been legalised in California for medical purposes which basically means you can get it prescribed for anything.Wolfgang who we met in Miami had a who9le load prescribed because he fell of his skateboard and hurt his knee.Weirdly though because it is still illegal under federal law the doctors surgeries keep getting busted at a federal level! Only in America…

As we pulled back into the hostel car park I spotted the Marks and Spencer bags tied round Olli's rucksack - we had got back just as he arrived!We grabbed a couple of beers and traded stories.Without a doubt Ollis best was breaking into the San Diego zoo.He found an open gate around the back so just strolled through the staff quarters waving to people like he was about to start work.However once he was in the zoo proper he remembered he had paid for a discounted ticket at the hostel.He broke back out and went in the proper way to get his moneys worth.

It was Friday evening of the Oscar weekend so we thought we would go and check out some bars and head up too the red carpet.One of the girls in our room, a Brazilian called Clara who had been working at Disney in Florida, came with us.We didn't find anyone famous and they had closed the pavements up to the red carpet.The night before I had been able to get right up to and partway inside the Kodak theatre - people had been going mad taking photos of who I guess were some famous people although I didn't recognise them.In the end we just found some seats in one of the bars near the hostel and watched Olli get far to involved with a pair of cougars who had come from Chicago to hunt flesh.On the way back that night my left leg started to hurt but I had had a few drinks so didn't worry too much about it.

I woke up on Saturday crippled; I literally could not stand on, or bend my left leg without feeling sick.However Olli had been waxing lyrically about McDonalds milkshakes which I was yet to try and I needed to buy some sun cream and some big pads to keep my tattoo out the sun in Tahiti and this would be our last chance.If anyone asks why I have a big gauze pad on my back whilst I am on the beech I shall simply yell them I am recovering from a gunshot wound or something.We set off to find McDonalds - stopping for supplies along the way.By this point I was starting to go down with hunger/leg pain.What happened?Well with McDonalds in site we were stopped by the police.It was just within the no go zone of the Oscars that day.We would have to find another one and weirdly no one seemed know to where there was one.About an hour latter we had located one but only after an eventful walk.All the homeless and baggers clocked my limp a mile off.They saw me as a vulnerable target so kept harassing me for money.One gentlemen in particular kept shouting at me saying he was homeless so I should give him all my change.He didn't say please so the answer was no.

When we got to McDonalds I had one of these fabled milkshakes and it was indeed worth the painful walk. I also discovered something I had not seen in America before.This is probably because most of the times I went to McDonalds was on greyhound rest breaks in the early hours of the morning so stuck with the usual (cheeseburger, chips and McFlurry).What I discovered was the double quarter pounder.Oh yes half a pound of burger.We also got a chance to use the wifi because the wifi at the hostel had not worked for a few days.We both phoned home to see what was happening.

I told mum and dad that I had finally got a tattoo but I get the feeling they think it is another one of my elaborate practical jokes.I would like to take a moment to assure them it is not.I was also appalled to find out that they are redecorating the side bathroom.They had been talking about this when I left but I thought it was just that - talk.Now however it looks imminent.Mum has even had a friend round who is an interior designer to have a look.What the hell has happened to my parents that has changed them to much in the few weeks I been away that they would get a interior designer in?They are a complete waste of space and leech of those who feel they are not capable of sorting their own home out or who want to be able to blame someone else when it end up looking wrong.Anyway it is happening.They are buying tiles with real bits of gold and platinum in them - what a waste of money.Worse then that though they are changing the bath.This is my favourite bath in the whole world.For those of you who have not seen it it is a great big deep cast iron Victorian bath.I have never seen another bath that deep before and I expect the new one will hold maybe a few glasses of water.It must go because the interior designer has said it "does nothing for the room and does not sit well in the house."This proves anyone can call themselves an interior designer.We live in a bloody Victorian house, how the hell can a Victorian bath not sit well in it?

Still I suppose I shouldn't be too worried.Before I left they wanted to paint the living room in a boring cream colour but regained sanity and changed their minds before doing any damage with the paint brush.They also decided the oblong table we have had since before I was born, which fitted the kitchen perfectly and also as far as I amaware still works properly (nothing has ever fallen through it) needed to be replaced with a round one.The original one is back now and the round one has been sold.They have plenty of time to ruin the bathroom then put it all back right before I get back.

After we were done we walked back up to Hollywood and then back to the hostel.We refuelled again at the Chinese near the hostel which has been keeping me alive for the past few days and got some cheap pasta for our next stop as we had heard the food was so expensive in French Polynesia.Those who are unprepared have to go on the Tahitian diet of no food at all.We also watched some of the Oscars in the TV room.At 715 the shuttle came to pick us up.What a pleasant surprise the driver was.Not only did he refuse a tip but when he did not have change for the note I had he bought a chocolate bar with it to break the note and took the money out of his half!