Greg was a legend for what turned into a week stay at his house.Because of the weather all the busses were cancelled which meant we could not leave Madison.Lots of late nights in front of the TV watching travel documentaries and drinking whiskey.

Greg found us a bus that could get us to Chicago where some greyhounds were running so at 9am last Thursday we started our journey south to the sun.After 17 hours of the usual lunatics and a brief stop in Chicago we arrive in Nashville at 230am.When I say usual lunatics this time we were treated to something special.One "gentlemen" on the bus was a dead ringer for Coolio and he refused to put any of his huge bags full of drugs and guns into the cargo hold.Instead he would stand at one end of the bus, shout something about being in a hurry, then charge down the centre of the bus dragging his bags through and knocking anyone in the way over.We were lucky enough to see this spectacle several times as he had no idea where he was going or which bus he was on.Oh and he demanded a quarter off Olli for some food and it was safer just to give it to him.

What greeted us at Nashville could not really be described as the bus terminal.Refugee camp is more apt.Whilst the north had been hit by heavy snow the southern states had severe storms and this meant no busses through Georgia (our route to Tallahassee) there was a 18 hour bus going another way leaving later Friday morning but there was a good chance that could be cancelled as well.This was bad, very bad - we were supposed to be meeting up with some friends of Ollis on Friday and spending the weekend with them.A severe weather warning in 30 states was not going to stop us.

The night before I had only slept about 3 hours as I had been worried about the busses.Instead of sleeping I stayed up all night looking for cheap rental companies.So at 3am we booked a car for the next morning and then got a cab to the airport where we would pick our car up.When we got to airport we set up a base in the arrivals lounge and Olli tried to get a bit of sleep whilst I watched Gladiator and a bit of Bill Bailey.Staying in arrivals was genius.Partly this is because it was free but from the rental companies point of view it looked like we had just got off a plane rather then wondered in off the street at silly o'clock in the morning.

In our drowsy state we were up sold from the tiny Kia I had booked to a Toyota Camry but at least we had leg room, cruise control and air con.20 minutes latter we drove out the airport and onto the highway with Olli giving me a hasty crash course on driving in America form his Lonely Planet guide.The rest of the day can be summed up by coffee, McDonalds, the most unbelievably bad weather I have ever seen and the Sat Nav telling us the next turning was in 100's of miles which is annoying when the road is straight.At one point the weather was so bad that the highways were flooded and down to single lanes with the only other cars being the police!However 14 hours and 650 miles later we eventually pulled into Kats driveway.Well technically it was her neighbours but close enough to say we were there.

Kat is a student at Florida State University, and her younger sister Kim is at uni in Orlando and had driven up with her boyfriend to see us.Olli met them on a cruise when he was 14 or so and they have all been friends since.After showers and a bite to eat we headed out and the partying began!

On Saturday we dropped the car off and chilled out for a bit.We also had a fantastic home cooked meal from Kat and Kim.I was on my fourth helping when I remembered I needed to save room for beer.That night we all went out clubbing at a place called Chubbys although it was not exclusively for fatties.This may sound a little sad but one of my highlights of the night was riding in Johns pick up with its 5.7L engine.INSANE!

On Sunday the sun came out.Sadly Kim and John had to go but the three of us headed up to the FSU campus where we chilled out in the sun and played some ultimate with the students.That night Kat took us to a college super bowl party where time was split between watching the game and playing touch cup, flip cup (I was s*** but Olli did well) and our favourite - beer pong.We consider ourselves quite good but the fraternity boys were incredible.

College drinking games in America are different to the uk and I definitely preferred them.In the UK you do not want to loose a drinking game in any shape or form.The drinking games are designed to humiliate the loser and hopefully induce at the very least a lot of vomit from them.When we played with the Frat students the emphasis was on winning.You didn't want to loose because it sucks to loose.But there was no penalty because how can you play again with your head down a toilet?I like that.

The weather on Monday reflected our mood.We were sad to be leaving and as such it was raining. I made the most of the bad weather and slept in till 2pm and that evening we got a bus down to Miami.Before that though we were treated to another home cooked meal this time of the Cuban variety.Kat and Kim were really good hosts and I can see why Olli is such good friends with them.

Some how on the way to Miami Olli picked up an older male admirer who was adamant that he new a better way to south beech once off the bus.It involved crossing 8 lanes of traffic.Perhaps this is how he kills his victims?We left him to play on the highway while we got another bus into town where we through our stuff into our room and went to the beech.Sun, sea and sand at last.

That evening we hit the clubbing scene.The Miami Beech International Hostel has some really good connections so rather then queuing to pay $40 for club entry we would go in through the VIP door and get a free drink for $10.If drinking is your thing (I only occasionally indulge) then I would urge you all to get drunk way before going to the club though.Go to MB liquors around the corner and buy 40oz bottles for $2.50 because once you get into the club you will bleed money you will bleed money.I bought a shot of vodka on the first night and it cost $15.The real kick in the teeth was that I then knocked it over.

We took a greyhound up to Fort Lauderdale airport and from there flew to Philadelphia and then to Vegas.For some stupid reason this was cheaper then flying from Miami to Vegas.Our flight was American Airways and was greyhound of the skies.We ended up surrounded by screaming children but by far the worst person on the plane was the mum in front.Cleary the best way to quieten your young children down on the plane is to scream "be quiet, go to sleep at them".The noise from the children might have been bearable if we didn't have to listen to her shouting as well.

Anyhow we got to Vegas about 830 pm on Tuesday and went to the Riviera hotel.Olli checked in whilst I started eyeing up the slot machines.Olli got his own room so he can rest up and get over his Harpies, I mean Herponinga. I was staying with Matt and Bevon (the Australians from New York) who had checked in earlier.Not only would this be a few nights to remember but it only cost us $48 each for 3 nights in Vegas.

The three of us headed out for a quick look around the strip at about midnight.By this point Olli had consumed his own body weight in sleeping tablets and ibuprofen so was out for the count in his room.We eventually rocked up at the hotel at about 5am.I had broke even on that night so that was not so bad.The really funny thing was the smut.There are illegal immigrants everywhere forcing prostitute call cards on you (if I still had that stolen money and the phone I would have called a girl to Ollis room).There are ridiculous looking men trying to get you into limos and to the strip clubs, prostitutes - we codenamed them streeties, pimps, drug dealers and my personal favourite the unlicensed cab driver.I know have a huge collection of the prostitute cards and I shall bring them home as gifts for you all.The most amusing thing about them is that some of the cards are actually pictures of famous glamour models.Can you sue a pimp for misrepresentation?

The next day we went to the all you can eat buffet for $10 and ate till it was difficult to breathe.We then ate till we actually felt our heart rate slowing down then did some investigations into what we should go out and see.We have all started to draw parallels between myself and Matt, and Olli and Bevon.This all came to a head on Tuesday when Matt and I started discussing the cheapest place to drink and Olli and Bevon pulled out detailed plans of what there was so see at what time.These plans had been drawn up independently without each other knowing the other was doing one.They were pretty much identical.

That night we saw all the fountain shows and got round most of the casinos as well.Around midnight we had located the beer pong tournament area of one of the casinos and that Olivier had told us about when we were in Miami.We got to work.Olli was unable to play as he is still unable to drink however he is starting to show signs of coming off the drugs and back onto alcohol. Oh did I tell you one of the things the doctor gave him a prescription for is so insane there is a federal warning telling him that if he gives it so someone else he shall go to prison?!Anyway not only could olli not take part in the drinking but security decided that a British driving license was not enough and they wanted passport ID.He would have to go sooner or latter although he did demand to see a supervisor.At this point they gave up.Ironically if I had not lost my license in Miami I would not have had my passport with me.Every cloud has a silver lining and all that.

With three players we just got a rotation system going and then after a while some Canadian girls joined us so we could play three on three.Given last nights experiences I was sure they were streeties and so tried not to talk to them too much at first.I also asked the guys to not let them near my beer cups when I went to the loo in case they slipped in roofies and the night turn into a scene from The Hangover.This tactic would however eventually backfire on me as I would get lumbered with "the lump" who had a sick boyfriend upstairs and wanted someone to hang out with.I was quite glad when I found out she had a boyfriend though or I could have found myself in real trouble.

The games carried on most of the night until Matt and Bevon went off with the girls and luckily the lump decided it was time for her to go as well.I played a little bit longer with some Americans and then went to go back to the hotel.

When I left the casino floor and walked outside I discovered the sun was well up and the time was 6.30 in the morning. I had been playing for about 7 hours.I also discovered I was quite drunk.I walked back along the strip looking like a man who has just gambled away his entire life savings.Luckily the real reason I looked to depressed and angry was that I had to walk the whole length of the strip and I was starving hungry as well.About half way back I found a mcdonalds.When I removed my wallet a whole load of prostitute cards I had been given the night before fell on the floor in front of the queue.The look on everyone's faces did go someway to cheering me up.When I got back I fell straight to sleep and woke up around 11 when matt and Bevon came back.

About half an hour latter we were all woken up by a phone call from one of the girls.They had missed there flight and wanted to hangout with us until there next one in the evening.At this point the day got really weird.It got so weird that I decided I must have been in a coma or something and it was all a dream.Perhaps in a beer pong related accident?

First, for those of you who are unaware of this, Olli is a legally ordained minister and a general one stop shop.He performs baptisms, funerals and also marriages.When he is a qualified lawyer he will also be able to represent people when they get divorced.Oh and he also keeps my water bottle blessed.I don't want to get to picky but I will only drink holy water now.Anyway he married me to Matt's girl Adria but fortunately he didn't have the paper work printed off so it shouldn't be binding.It doesn't matter anyway because I have good grounds to divorce her as 10 minutes latter she went off with Matt to Olli's room and cheated on me.What sort of minister or friend is Olli for allowing this?Anyway after this we thought it would be quite amusing to use the beds as small trampolines and then hold a fake orgy to see if there would be any complaints.Jovian, the other Canadian girl, was a medical intern in her final year and gave me a free liver examination.I am pleased to announce that there are no signs of liver damage.As if all that was not weird enough we found out that they were Justin Biebers' second cousins, although they he hasn't seen them since he turned famous - charming.

After they had gone and managed to catch their plane we all went out to have one last look around Vegas and look for prossie cards we were missing from our collections.We checked out a few places at the far end of the strip and also saw Sirens which had been cancelled the night before because of the wind.We decided to avoid drinking on our final night partly because things get to crazy and also because me and Olli had a 630 bus the next morning to escape from Vegas and head to the Grand Canyon.Three nights in Vegas was definitely enough.