Thought it might be time for another cheeky installment of my ridiculous witterings....

I made it to Ecuador with high hopes and no knowledge of what to expect (fairly standard!). Banos was the venue for a day of some serious adreneline fueled fun, the day started with some canyoning (this is basically absailing down a waterfall), the only advice we were given was to not let go of the rope and vamos (it means go) which made for some very entertaining wipeouts and it was almost as entertaining watching other peoples attempts as it was to do it yourself. The braver you were though the easier it was so me jumping unsafely off the wall seemed to work! If that wasn't enough we then took to a fairly derelict bridge that wobbled when lorries went over it and threw ourselves off the side. I was nominated to go first as safety control officer/idiot that will try anything. This was fine except I didn't actually know what it was, the explanation I was given was a bungee swing so I assumed a stretchy rope....this was not the case. So hurtling head first off the bridge I expect some stretchy action. Instead what I got was some groin and face pain, the harness took care of the groin and my sheer dull-wittedness ensured I faceplanted into the harness, although I looked like a penis I think I was outdone by a few of the others. There was some serious G-force and it had that air of being really unsafe which added to the excitement factor, I loved it. Next up was a canopy high wire that meant shooting down a zip line in the superman position over an amazing 100ft+ waterfall. All in all a pretty fun little day.

Jungle time!
We arrived in the jungle and I was nervous to say the least, my second major fear of my travels was about to be faced, the first was ladyboys and now the second....them little fish that swim up your pee pee hole and you can't get them out without surgery. Moral of the story do not wee in, near or thinking about the river. Several tactics had been discussed from condoms to duct tape but I ended up going for the 'try not to wee for 3 days approach'

Day one took us tubing (a rubber ring/inner tube) down the river and some pretty large rapids were encountered, this was amazing (terrifying at the time because of the aforementioned fish but after) I also managed to hoon into a fat rock and say goodbye to the feeling in my left butt cheek for a few hours. The jungle promised to live up to all my hopes and dreams.

Day two took us on a long boat down for a jungle trek, when I say jungle trek I mean jungle trek, we are talking machetes and wading through s***, no paths in site. It was awesome...awesome! We found vines to do the Tarzan thing, everyone and their dog stacked it spectacularly and everyone looked a little worse for wear, even Rosie who took to the trek with her White Gucci handbag and umbrella (this made me chuckle all day). After lunch, a meal served on banana leaves with ants the size of sherbet lemons to keep us company, we had a go on a zip line into the river. As I failed on the no weeing front, the post-piss shake pre-entering the water bordered on the ridiculous and could nearly have been called something else. I didn't care though I frube'd every last drop out. The day then took us to an animal sanctuary where we saw everything from anacondas and caymans to monkeys, both wild and enclosed. My favourite though were the giant guinea pigs, we're talking as big as a big big dog or a small small small horse. The evening entailed a night walk we saw some mad-ass bugs and all sorts but the highlights were the tarantula on the head episode and the snake in my mouth, not sure why I allowed this as I was the only one to volunteer and it was a very wild snake that was unceremoniously ragged out of it's tree! No harm done though and I was one up on Jade who had tried a tit for tat challenge-off, I do believe I won jade?

Day three was the day of the ayawaska! In order to take part in this ceremony we were unable to eat all day, the day was spent in a local school, I got stuck with a pre-schooler who cried whenever I put her down! She was cute though. It was a bit of a shock when the mothers, who were working outside with machetes would take 5 come in and breastfeed, then head straight back out, they just get on with it! After the school we learnt how they make chocolate, learnt about the sacred rock in the area, went fishing (i caught a catfish! It fit on the palm of my hand but still!) and got well and truly taught how to play football by some tiny ecuadorians (they were bloody good!). We then had the ayawaska ceremony, a local, natural hallucinogenic drink that has spiritual meanings for the taker. We had a shaman and he blessed the drink (it tasted like muddy water) took us to the sacred rock and we each had a personal ceremony, he whistled, chanted and shook leaves at us, and then left us with our own minds! I won't go into my own trippy experience but it was cool, very very cool! I may have had more vivid hallucinations (not admitting to taking anything though) but the whole ceremony and stuff made it ace!

After the jungle the last stop was Quito, I had mixed feeling about the place as it was the last place on the tour, so there were many emotional goodbyes, an epic night out where I managed to minesweep not one, but two fishbowls, but also an edginess to the city that didn't quite sit right. Cora got her bag stolen within 9 seconds of us arriving to check in so it was going to find it hard to redeem itself from that, but me and Paige were followed home from our night out and there were some shady characters on the streets......the craft market was awesome though.....I bought a hat!

We also took a trip to the equator which was far more interesting than I believed it would be. They showed us the coriollas effect (the way the toilet water spins) and it was incredible, on the equator it went straight down but a couple of meters either side and it span in different directions (they used a sink not a toilet)

After this, the group disbanded and everyone left for home or other exciting destinations. Cheers everybody it was bloody good fun travelling with you!

Having left the group I had a vague panic as I had been spoon-fed an itinerary for over a month and the most responsibility I had was to drag my arse out of bed on time (I failed at this most days!) it took me all of 10 minutes back in Banos to revert to my chaotic and thoroughly enjoyable means of travelling however; I ate street food (that was frowned upon on the tour), got lost (I like doing that), found a cool unhygienic open market (bought some strawberries) found a zoo (saw a jaguar feeding, Andean bears and some pumas) all in all I was giddy and excitable about the whole situation once again.

As the tour had depleted my budget more than I had hoped for, I decided to rock back to Mancora (flying from Lima meant backtracking was inevitable) a little quite beach town, and save some money chilling out....this did not happen. I bumped into my drinking team from La Paz pre-tour and, with a few new and exciting editions, we drank.....and drank and drank. 6 consecutive nights in total, which made for a very daunting bar tab.

The shenanigans got silly, I was challenged to a naked-off on the bar by Leslie, a girl I met in Cusco (I know I had vowed to stop the nakedness but a challenge was set so I don't think it really counts?!?), had a 19 hour marathon session (we left the bar at 11am and headed to the beach to keep it going), an hours sleep and then another 11 hour one. On a couple of the evenings I wanted to drink beyond my funds so in an instance of pure inspiration I got a job working behind the bar....this meant giggling with the barmaid and getting free drinks. On my first shift I was deemed to irresponsible to serve anything, on my second I served 4 beers took several breaks that lasted longer than the time I worked. Maybe not employee of the month but nevertheless, that's a cheeky update for the old CV and Charlie Brown the owner loved me because I dragged a load of the hostel drinkers to the bar and we drank the whole bar dry on each of my shifts.

So after 6 nights of GBH to my liver I felt it may be time to become a real person again, Josh, Danni, Tom and Ben all agreed with this so we headed to Lima on a wonderful 20 hour bus.... I was awake for about 17 minutes of it! Since arriving here I have also been left with a dilemma, due to Andrews list I was unable to shave throughout November, this has left me with a moustache (well the best I can ever hope to grow!) I have grown quite attached to the little fellow and am considering extending it's life, I will upload a photo, I am keen for a second opinion! Please be honest!

I now sit in Lima awaiting my flight to New York! Another chapter of my adventure is coming to an end, thank you to everyone who has made it as ridiculous and entertaining as it has been! Let's see what the next one has in stall......

Hope you're well and enjoyed the read, it was a bloody long one but felt I couldn't cut anymore than I did out!

Luke. X