Once upon a time in a land far far away, let's call it Austria, there was a very successful chef called Karl, who ran a small 11-room castle. And while the castle was well-renowned the crown jewel was his kitchen for which he'd received two Michelin stars. People came from all over to sample Chef Karl's cuisine, stay in his castle and savour his 'legendary' breakfast, which some people paid 35€ each for. One day Prince Wobbly and his second wife, the beautiful Princess 11, decided to stay at the castle, requesting a double room for 125€, as advertised. Upon arrival Chef Karl said he was fully booked except for one, last, little, room in the attic. It was quiet, he said, and was perfectly cosy for two lovebirds. Alas the castle was not the fairytale the Prince and Princess had expected. The bed was not a double but a mere King-sized single, it was not clean and tidy and there was no hot water. One other couple appeared to be staying and the rest of the place was creepy and quiet. Breakfast was rushed and altogether ordinary, flies buzzed around dry slices of bread for example and the waitress had left her manners at home. Chef Karl approached the table, demanding a 9am checkout, dismissing a request for bags to be held at reception as the castle would be locked immediately upon departure and besides, Chef Karl quipped, it was not customary for a castle to hold luggage. Prince Wobbly had seen and heard enough. He confronted Chef Karl with a list of complaints including the teenie tiny bed.
'Well you are just too big' came the reply. Gasp!
'I would keep an eye on every travel website there is because I am going to write a review about your castle you'd rather not see. I won't tell you when I'll do it but if I were you I would check every website, every day for the next two months,' Prince Wobbly threatened.
Chef Karl's face dropped. His castle and kitchen were the fairest in the land, nobody ever wrote anything bad about his wonderful business.
Chef Karl apologised, offering the accommodation for free and to hold the Prince's luggage for the morning. But the damage had been done, the Prince had been insulted and his Princess was distraught. The free accommodation was accepted, but it did not buy Prince Wobbly's silence. A fair and honest review of the Castle and his ogre-like owner will be written, Chef Karl just won't know when.