Forgive me my friends for I have sinned.

It has been 5 days since my last confession.

What sin have I committed? Indulgence perhaps?

So yeah.... I am in the Kingdom of Thailand... that sounds so much better than the Country of Australia. For all of you who agree with me then you should also agree to this 'philosophy'

'If you believe it then it is so'

With me as king, Australia can become the kingdom of Australia. Believe it and it will be so. Here in Thailand I'm *almost* a millionaire. Thank you King of Thailand... Thank you.

Now for the important stuff.
Zinger burgers in Thailand are definitely better than they are in Singapore and Malaysia BUT Australia still wins out on taste. You should all thank John Howard for this mean feat and vote for him in the next Federal Election. I know I'll be proud to tell the Labor campaign manager for my electorate that I'll vote for the Liberal government because of the high standard of Zinger burgers that has been kept in the last few years. OH! Overall though Thailand almost beats Australia in the Zinger burger department.

1) Thai Zinger Burgers come with a slice of tomato (this actually does wonders for the taste!)
2) This is the big one... Zinger Burgers are 55B here (~$2.20). Compared to Australia's $4.65 Zinger Burgers.. two for the price of one. Difficult to compete with that!

I still have Northern Thailand, Laos, Cambodia, Vietnam, Hong Kong and possibly China, Taiwan and/or Macau to test. I love it! It's reality internet. Hahahahahha. Now that's a concept that I haven't seen exploited yet. Everyone flex your creativities and scheme some crazy E-Reality show. If you have an idea please share and I'll throw in my 2 cents ;)

McDonalds update! On two separate visits today I purchased and devoured a Samurai Pork burger, a Double Big Mac, and a Nutty Luv McFlurry. I can hear you all thinking "SAMURAI PORK BURGER"... and yes it was actually quite tasty. And yes... Tom Cruise was not the last Samurai. The slogan here in Thailand runs something like:

Thai Man (subtitles): You eat Samurai Pork Burger and you will have power of SAM-YOU-RAY!

Cool. I am now Samurai. I can feel it too! Everything is so cheap here in Thailand :) 55B and you are a Samurai.

....I would be disrespecting Langkawi if I did not mention how my last few days were. Langkawi is an amazing place and I was deeply saddened to leave it. As I have expressed in past emails it was close to the most pristine beach I have ever seen (the other beach being Whitehaven beach, Whitsundays, Queensland, Australia). The living was cheap, the entertainment cheap, the food & drink cheap and the locals were friendly. Langkawi is the ideal place for a person to relax.

A quote from "Talladega Nights" sums it up

Cal Norton Jr: I like to picture Jesus in a tuxedo t-shirt. Cause it says lie... I wanna be formal but I like to party too. I like to party so I like my Jesus to party.

Hahahhaha. Classic. That said. You can relax in Langkawi. But if you want to party then you can. There is a steady stream of tourists that come through Langkawi to visit its wondrous beachside. And for you all red-blooded males out there.. the tourists are predominantly Scandinavian. ;)

The last few days we stayed at Shirin's Guesthouse on Cenang beach for 40RM a night (~$16). Between two people that is a ridiculously low price for accomodation so close to the beach. The Guesthouse was run by a delightful man named Ibrahim who was inviting from the moment we stepped through the doors. As I spent more time with Ibrahim this 'delightful' image of him began to change. He is now known to me as Triple I, Ibrahim the Irate Iranian.

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/SNV33084.jpg

Warning: Don't ever talk to an Iranian/Iraqi about politics/war/extremism/oil/religion ... and especially when they are on there way to getting drunk. Observe:

III: I am a terrorist.
Karina: Why do you say that?
(she was showing genuine concern for this seemingly self-deprocatory remark)
III: Because I AM.
Karina: I don't think you are.
III: How can you say that?!
Karina: I've talked to you and I don't think you are. Why do you think you are a terrorist.
III: Because.. George Bush said SO!
Karina: But you don't have to believe what George Bush says.
III: WHY! He says I am a terrorist.. so I am a terrorist.

Hahahaha 30 minutes later the old man started running out of energy and youth conquered the conversation. He isn't a terrorist and he is in fact a really cheerful guy... who seems to be happy most of the time and runs a very low cost option for accomodation in Langkawi. If you ever goto Langkawi keep this place in mind.

Triple I was also kind to lend us his vehicle for the tidy sum of 40RM ($15) for the day. We took the opportunity to drive to the Mardi Agrotechnology Park and sample some of the exotic fruits and vegetables that are grown and harvested in Malaysia. Hmmm... That just doesnt sound right. Why would two twenty-somethings go to an agrotechnology park.. for the FRUIT? NO. The day before we were shown by our shadow couple, Markus and Emily, photos of their adventure to the park. What did the photos revealed? The tour guide of the park owns a BABY MONKEY. Motivations explained. :)

We arrived.. and the baby monkey was in the front seat of the tour guide's truck. Check 'Mini-muff' out:

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/SNV33060.jpg
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/SNV33058.jpg
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/SNV33049.jpg

And my personal favourite, "This is how men in Malaysia smile":

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/SNV33036.jpg

To conclude my visit to Malaysia here are the last three sunsets:

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/SNV33006.jpg
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/SNV33010.jpg
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/SNV33072.jpg

6 hours later we arrived in Thailand. When you travel between countries via coach everything is set up so that particular connected resorts/hotels/guesthouses are served. Tourists get there and are told that everything is booked up in a certain place (if they don't have a prior booking) and are recommended a particular moderately priced option for their accomodation. This has happened to us on a few occasions .. although it doesnt particularly bother me when all I am craving is a bed to rest after a long days travel. One nights moderately priced accomodation doesn't do much damage to the pocket.

We were shuttled off to Klong Muang beach, 15km west of Krabi town. A relatively quiet beach offering a double bedroom with a fan for 500B ($20). Taken. I was impressed by the establishment though and quickly upgraded to a room with Air-Con and hot water. The new room was almost twice the size of the previous and improved my reservations that I had made for the resort. Koh Kwang resort to be exact. Compared to Ao Nang though.. Klong Muang has no 'life'.. I use the word 'life' loosely because I could easily argue for Klong Muang. Ao Nang reminds me of Bondi Beach.. except throw in Paddy's market like stalls along its road and voila... you have Ao Nang. Tourists flock here for boat trips to Ko Phi Phi/Maya Bay (watch 'the Beach' and you'll be WoWd) and other majestic islands nearby. So for this judgment 'life' equates to breathing humans.

The trip has been a first for many things:

* My first trip overseas (and gangsta passport photo to boot)
* First time I've felt like I've belonged to an overwhelming minority. Asian invasionnn
* First time I've broken a road rule. Err... I lie.
* First time I've seen someone attacked by a monkey.
* First time I've bought womens clothing without realising it. The Thai man who sold it to me must have been secretly cracking up.
* And last but not least... the first time I have ever ridden a motorbike!

Karina and I had no means of transport while at Klong Muang beach. Taxis were overpriced at 500B per trip ($20!) and to hire a car would set me back 1000B. The last alternative? A motorbike at 250B for 24 hours. Have I ridden a motorbike before? No. Was I scared to get on it in a foreign country? Yes. Would a foreign country be the place to learn? Yes.

Taught myself in 1 minute. Exhilirating! I am getting my learners license when I get back to Australia. Got that beast of a bike up to 90 km/h hahahahaha! I won't lie though I was getting a little nervous when I first hired the bike.

Receptionist: Have you ever ridden a bike before?
Me: Yep.
Receptionist: Do you need a helmet?
Me: Naaa... its OK
Me: Although its been a while since I've ridden.
Reception: Ok

Hahaha she had to show me how to start it... and I am sure that she saw me almost ride the bike into a ditch the first time I gave it some throttle! Geez. Second attempt bore fruits. Juicy fruits of confidence and reassurance. Soon Karina and I were scooting our way to Krabi town and to Ao Nang. Haha we were riding for about 3 hours. *For all you personal development fans.. Susan Jeffers - Feel the Fear and do it Anyway*

Oh and another first:

* First time I've had to shake life into my ass & balls from loss of circulation. Not a place I enjoy feeling pins & needles!

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/150207_SNV33114.JPG
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/150207_SNV33115.JPG
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/150207_SNV33099.JPG

;) And don't get me started on road rules. There aren't many. If you aren't going fast enough you will be overtaken. If a car approaches you pull over to the side or face the wrath of Thai/Malaysian bumper bars. If the locals are nice enough they'll beep upon approach. If the locals aren't nice they'll beep continuously until you move out of the way.... Lucky for me I enjoy my speed. Unlucky for Karina that she was sitting behind me. :)

Now that we are at Ao Nang beach we will be taking one of the many tours to Ko Phi Phi island and Maya beach (where they shot 'The Beach'). Karina will be taking thousands of photos and I promise to share these photos with you all. We've had our 1 hour Thai massage for 250B ($10AUD) and now plan to lounge around on another picturesque beach until we feel the need to eat again. To keep with tradition I will leave you with a few more photos of the sunsets here in Thailand:

Feb 13th Sunset at Nopharat Thara beach:

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/150207_SNV33105.JPG

Feb 14th Sunset at Ao Nang beach:

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/150207_SNV33117.JPG
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/150207_SNV33122.JPG

Life.

Lopez.