Helllooooo ;)

Yes I am a backstreet boy.. and no not because I've been intimate with a lady boy.. but because...

OH MY GOD I'M BACK AGAIN...
Brothers, sisters, everybody sing
Gonna bring the flavour, gonna show you how
Got a question for ya, better answer now...

How nostalgic of me. I do have a question for you:

Everyone on this planet has pulled a face or two in their lifetime... but.. can.. ANYONE... beat this?????? If you can.. PROVE IT.

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33357.JPG

We've left the graceful shores of Ao Nang, Krabi and arrived at the over-populated Ao Patong, Phuket. The tourist trail that I have followed has shown me the varying intensities of tourism and its effect on the local environment and culture. From Cenang beach Langkawi Malaysia to Ao Nang Krabi Thailand to Ao Patong Phuket Thailand there is an ever disturbing increase of the white man and his effect on the countries delights.

When Karina and I first moved from Klong Muang, Krabi to Ao Nang, Krabi I was quick to notice how cluttered the streets were with tourists and tourist-aligned ventures. It is upsetting to see how many people inhabited the streets and how most of the people (including myself) disregarded the proud history and culture of Thailand by warming to Western comforts. The tourists have created a demand for Western comforts in Eastern countries.. and in true commercialist fashion the Andaman Sea is evolving slowly to become 'modern'/Western to meet this demand. All this area needs now are a few burgeoning casinos. Gah!

Ao Nang is not without its fair share of Tailors, Massage parlours, Gift shops, Clothing stores, DVD/CD stores, Internet Cafes, Tourist Information, Resorts, Tuk tuks/Taxis and hustlers. This may seem like a long list but when you get off your warm behinds and tour the Andaman Sea you will find boredom in the repetition. It decharacterises each town/beach and thus I would highly recommend any place that I visit that hasn't been ravaged by the Western dollar. There is a shirt that is sold in all of the clothing stores:

"No I don't want a f**king suit, tuk tuk, or a massage. Thank you very much."

I am guilty though. I've had my one hour Thai massage ($10 AUD) and two suits are currently being tailored for me to pick up this Friday ;) I was sold by a very crafty Thai man who showed alot of persistence and thus earned my dollar. His name: Mr Rocky. Hahahaha! (I will have my picture taken with Mr Rocky when I go to pick up my new suits ;) ) The better Thai salesmen are the ones who can pick your nationailty by your body language and sense of fashion.

Mr Rocky: AUSTRALIAN!?
Me: Yep.. from Sydney
Mr Rocky: Gday mate! I love it in Australia my brother lives there!
Me: Oh really? Where abouts?
Mr Rocky: Ahh he only visited.. Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide.. bloody beautiful country mate!
Me: Hahhahahah
Mr Rocky: Yeah! Look look come to see my shop mate and I'll show you bloody beautiful suits mate!!

And so on. I promise to do a perfect Mr Rocky impression to anyone who asks on my return. Although he wasn't the only one to pick my nationality... others did too and they all seem to say the same things.. "Gday mate! Bloody cheap suits in here mate!" or "Bloody brilliant..!" Hahahahaha. I've also noticed that many of the salesmen spit out random Australia related words/sayings to get your attention. I was already in Mr Rocky's store when...

Mr Rocky: Mate! Brilliant... Look at over there... VEGEMITE mate! Bloody beautiful ey? And look. KANGAROO! Last week... mate... Melbourne Rugby team come in. They love my suit mate.

Hahahhaha. Mr Rocky is classic. He says all that with a huge smile... so his enthusiasm was well rewarded. The way he nonsensically puts words together reminds me of Ibrahim the Irate Iranian who would do something similar.. but with greetings..

III: Hello!
Me: Hello.
*III questioningly looks at me*
Me: Just going to my room to get some water
III: Ok. No problem. Thank you. You're welcome. Good Evening.

HAHA. Also classic. I miss III already.

So yeah... we've also taken one of the well greased island tours. Before I begin with the next story I will show you this photo. Look at it carefully. This was POST-shark attack

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33200.JPG

Alright alright alright alright... you are all asking "HOW did you survive"
Now before I start there is just a couple of things you have to remember

1) You have to remain calm
2) You have to show no fear. Because the sharks.. you see the sharks they can sense that fear.. just as easily as they can sense blood. So it went for me just like I knew it would. Just as nature had ordained its jaw wide open. Row upon row of these razor sharp teeth glinting underwater like jagged diamonds. Its tail fin sweeping back and forth as it surged in for the kill.

I swear to god my whole life flashed right before my eyes. I had nothing left to offer except for pure reflex. Just pure reflex and mankinds basic drive for survival that shouts:

NO I WILL NOT DIE TODAY

From that instant I knew it was either the shark or me.. the shark knew it and i knew it.. but geez god its nothing personal right.. its the way world works right? its nature. But if i remember correctly... in that last glimmer of its eyes there was a moment between us where it said

"hey Kris man.. enjoy your dinner"

;) ;) OK Some of you may have picked up on it.. but some of you may have not... it's a fairly obscure reference so I'll let it slide. The truth? Yes that is me in the water with little fishes swimming by. No I was not attacked by a shark. Yes that was a transcript from 'The Beach' starring Leonardo Di Caprio. And Yes that was me swimming in that same body of water where they filmed that scene. Hate me already. Haha. Here is Maya bay:

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33206.JPG

Apart from the environmental phenomenon that is Ko Phi Phi it is still a little strange walking on the Earth that was previously ravaged by the Tsunami two years ago. The majority of human activity was wiped out on Ko Phi Phi on that fateful day and you cant help to think that every heap of rubble that you see is wasteage left by that destructive wave.

For those of you curious of what life looks like on Phi Phi Don island:

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33221.JPG
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33220.JPG

(a some education for those rusty on Thai geography... Phi Phi Don and Phi Phi Lei make up the island known as Ko Phi Phi.. pronounced Pee-pee :P)

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33177.JPG

God must have been proud watching the Andaman sea and its coast line develop. You'll find the most spectacular views, islands and beaches here. Despite the wrecking ball that is humanity (and capitalism/commericialism) Ao Nang, Krabi is still a must visit. It is a tourist hub to visit Ko Phi Phi and has its own selection of breath taking beaches... to name a few Ao Nang, Nopharat Tara, Railey and Pai Plong beach. You want to get a tan.. do it in style at one of these beaches:

Ao Nang

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33263.JPG

Nopharat Tara

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/150207_SNV33108.JPG
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/150207_SNV33105.JPG

Railey beach

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33242-1.JPG

Pai Plong

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33257.JPG
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33260.JPG

To complete the Ao-Nang picture are the following two photos:

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33245.JPG
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33152.JPG

Yes. You are quite right. Karina made ANOTHER friend with an iguana which she was quick to name Igor. And yes she likes to cover me with seashells as I sleep on the beach. She is quite peculiar.

Fun fact: I broke my land speed record on one of the rental motorbikes. 100 km/h. Woo! I wish I had my long hair.. I can just imagine it flying about in the wind created by the speed. Boo hoo right?

Here I am now.. Patong beach Phuket. Patong caters for the white man... and in some places.. the white secksually disturbed man. I had heard stories of ugly white men walking around with beautiful Thai girls and subsequently put it on my "I'll leave that one until I actually see it" shelf.. and it is my unfortunate duty to report that it is very much the reality here. It is so much so that Karina and I played the following game the other night

Game: Whoever points out a ladyboy and/or working Thai girl gets one point!

We didn't play it for long as they are everywhere. I read in a study somewhere that 40% of Thai men become ladyboys! (I am joking). But .. yes they are everywhere. Don't come to Patong beach if you are homophobic. What makes it all the more distressing is that the working ladyboys are AGGRESSIVE. They'll do anything to get your attention and try everything to get you to buy a drink for yourself and themself. I'm lucky that I am travelling with Karina otherwise I would be stuck waist deep in some ladyboy's lair. Yuck!

Please observe:

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33335.JPG

What do you see? Thai girls (some of them may be boys...) dressed as school girls dancing on a tabletop. What else do you see? Balding men, men with no style and men with an out of balance second chakra (!) ogling at the selection of women that stand before them. Why did I use the word 'selection'? Because the girls are selected like items in a grocery store. The white man buys them drinks and after enough drinks asks for what the girls buying price is (usually not much at all). Here in Patong Karina and I are finding it very hard not to judge every white man who walks hand in hand or even side by side with a Thai girl. Depressing.

Apart from that unfortunate cocktail of secks and money the nightlife here is CRAZY. Everything lights up at about 9pm and you can party the night away at one of the many bars that line the streets here. I've looked for a Salsa bar and found 'La Salsa'... but was disappointed to find that they didn't actually play Salsa :(. Pool here is free as long as you are drinking. The beer here is stronger so it didnt take us long to get drunk. Karina found herself playing pool with one of the friendly working girls at the bar. I found myself playing Connect 4 and Jenga with the working girls madam! How did I know it was her madam? Well she managed to extort ONE drink from Karina...

Madam: Hellooooooo
Karina: Hi
Madam: One for meeeeee???? *while pointing to a beer bottle*
Karina: OK!

Later Karina confessed that she got one thinking that she was her friend! Such is life.

Moving away from the night life if you look past the consequences of tourism that lines it shores Patong beach is also very nice... I've struck a pose.. there's nothing to it ;)

http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33348.JPG
http://www.statraveljournals.com/photos/klopez/photos/210207_SNV33355.JPG

I think it may be time to get myself fed on Pad Thai before the start of another night of jenga, beer and pool. I will leave you with an interesting look at price competition in Thailand.

What is good value? Tourists come to Thailand in search for that amazing bargain.. that amazing buy where they can get something at a fraction of the cost of what it would be back home. You have:

* $1 meals
* $50 - 150 tailor made suits
* $5 a night accomodation

I've found that in Thailand and Malaysia, common items such as the Big Mac and Zinger Burger are about half the price they are in Australia (they are both around $2 AUD). These items however have fixed prices. What is not fixed are the various restaurant menus, gift shops, massage parlours, local transport and accomodation options. I've recently developed the 'Pad Thai index' to compare the value of restaurants in Thailand.

Ao Nang has ONE central road. Everything is found on this one road. And this road has an epicentre of extravagance. At the epicentre I saw Pad Thai for 160B (just over $6AUD)... as I continued to walk away from the epicentre and closer to our residence I noticed that the cost of Pad Thai continued to drop... from 160 to 100... from 100 to 80... from 80 to 60. I concluded that 60B is pretty good value for Pad Thai in a restaurant. The 60B Pad Thai was about 500m walk away from the 160B Pad Thai. The same could be applied for fresh fruit shakes.. they ranged from 80B at the epicentre to 25B at the outskirts.

Upon sharing this knowledge with Karina, we had found accomodation a few streets away from the activity on Patong beach... a great deal for a double bed with air conditioning at 500B a night ($20 per night.. so $10 each!) and ate at a restaurant nearby that was serving Pad Thai for....30B. Yes. The elusive $1 meal. We'll be eating there quite a bit I imagine.

You want value? Walk 500-1000m away from the main streets and you will find it. You will find it in the stores, the hotels and the restaurants. Interesting :)

Peace and love.
And song.

Until next time.
Batman.

I mean.
Lopezzzzz.