I didnt plan to write another blog until the week in the camper van was finished, but so much has happened since we set off on saturday morning that it just needed to be written now or lost forever. So, saturday morning 10am, we got our van, and what a beauty she was. It had done 317,000 miles, was completely battered, and was decorated in the style of the movie Sin City. It did however come with a gas bioler, lots of cutlery, a few burned out pots and pans, a table (which is now in 3 bits in the boot) and bedding for us to sleep on. The cupboards turn into a lovely spacious bed in the back, and the fuel consumption isnt too bad either. The only problem for us at first was that it didnt come with Sat Nav, as we initially drove 50k the wrong way and had to go all the way back to Perth and start again!

Once we got going, we decided to drive about 500k south from Perth to a town called Albany, and in the days follwing, work our way up the coast back to Perth. The first day was therefore a long drive day, but not without adventure. At about 6pm, I had just been mentioning to Smithy that I hadnt yet seen a kangaroo in Oz, which I was disappointed about. He was in the middle of telling me behavioural habits of kangaroos like some Steve Irwin wannabee when BANG! a brown figure bounced off the bonnet and down into the gravel path next to the road. I sh*t myself thinking we had hit a child or a motorbike, so we turned around to see what it was, and....yes my first sighting of a kangaroo in Oz was one with its brain spillin on to the tarmac, and WE were the culprits!! Luckily it didnt damage the van, so after a quick clean up and a few photos we decided to make tracks.

We got to Albany just after dark, and decided to scope the place out. To our horror, it had only 1 bar, and 1 nightclub! The only downside with the camper van is the lack of showering facilty, so over the past few days we have been going in and out of hostels like abandonned orphans asking if we can use their showers! After some food we parked up the van nice and discreetly (in a back alley we knew nothing about) and ventured in to town. The night started pretty slowly, but we found a place where an Australian one-man band was playing drums, whistles, a piano and of course a didgerydoo all at the same time. We asked all the locals whether the local nightclub "Insomniacs" was worth a look, and they all said the same thing, "ïts s***, but good". They we dead right, it was small and expensive, but suprisingly lively and the Aussies were welcoming and chatty, even met a nice pair of 19 year old twin sisters, and their mum was the bouncer of the club!

The next day we woke up late, around 11am with slightly sorer heads than usual (but only because of the rockhard matresses obviously haha). I turned to Smithy and said "for christs sake boy, looks like weve got a parking ticket on the window there, go and find out how much it is". Pure gloom. Until, he turns around with the biggest of smiles, and says "jackpot boy!!!" The two twins from the night before had put their telephone number on a napkin and pasted it to the window, telling us to call them if we want them to show us around!! Just as we realised this, Smithy, in his boxer shorts, dives in to the van and reaches for some trousers- the girls were outside tooting the horn, shouting at us to get dressed because they were taking us on a tour! Well, I never saw two fellas throw clothes on so fast, and that was it, we were off.

The twins, and one of their other pals took us on an unbelieveable tour of Albany which you just could not have done out of a tourguide book. We headed first out to a huge wind farm situated in a national park. Ugly as it sounds, when you set wind turbines against a background of crystal blue waters, sunshine and heathland, they can really be quite nice. We also visited a huge rocky area notorious for fishing and also for people being swept away by freak waves, and you could see why. After this we headed to a beach called Middleton, a secluded little beach complete with platform (not as good as Santa Ponsa mind you) and a tasty little chip shop. We treated the girls to lunch before having another quick dip, then moving on. After this the girls took us to one of the strangest things I've experienced since I started travelling. Try to imagine a huge marble war memorial, square in shape and maybe 30 feet high. Around it was a semi-circular stone wall, which from one side to the other (making a D shape) was about 30 yards. The wall is called the whispering wall, so they sat me at one side, and Smithy at the other, unable to see eachother because of the statue in the way. Now why its called as such becomes instantly clear, as when Smithy was talking normally, as if to someone next to him, I could hear every word, and I was 30 yards away! It was freaky, wonderful, and not in any of the guidebooks.

The last attraction of the day was up to a viewpoint at sunset which overlooked Albany, and we then planned to meet the girls later that night to go 10-pin bowling. As it turned out, the bowling alley was closed, so the girls invited us back to their house for a BBQ. We were expecting Jeremy Beadle of someone to pop out of nowhere with a camera crew- we just couldnt believe how nice these girls were, and this was compounded when they cracked open a bottle of pink champagne and threw even more food on the Barbie. That night we parked up the van down by the beach, a cooked up a nice poteen of tea for ourselves before heading off to sleep. Albany, done, lets move on!

The next morning we headed north towards a town called Debmark, but unlike our first day we had more time on our hands, and more beaches to see. We stopped off at Shelley Beach, Dingo beach and took in the awesome waves and views. We stopped off at midday for supplies, and then headed down to the beach. Australia is completely geared up for campervan travellers, there are hundreds of BBQ grills, roadside camper parks and toilets. So, there we were, 25 degree heat, cooking a savage feed of sausages, bacon, eggs, beans and bread on a completely deserted beach in the middle of nowhere. The only thing missing was a slab of Clon black-pudding and table service! All we could ask ourselves was, "where would you get it??!!"

We meandered on up the coast and eventually reached Denmark that evening, and were greeted with unbelievable rain! It had kind of threatened all day, but it really let rip, so we boiled up a selection of low quality soups and had a cheap night in the van playing cards and telling yarns. lol.

The next day we were headed for some of the most dramatic scenery in south west Australia, and it didnt disappoint. We headed first to Ocean beach at around 11am, and were greeted with waves at least 7 or 8 feet above normal water level, a surfers paradise. We grabbed our body boards, and headed for the beach, it would afterall be great training for the WBBC (World Body Boarding Championships) next month ;-). When we got down to the beach, we saw fins everywhere in the water, and I mean 10 or 20. Our first thought was SHARKS! but after seeing the other surfers not being too bothered, we saw that they were schools of Dolphins. Being a dolphin himself, Smityh was straight in, and swam out to within 30 feet of them playing in the surf. I was a chicken at first and kept watch, and by the time I got in there, most had dispersed. Still, and awesome sight, and it gave us a great buzz for the rest of the mornings surf.

That afternoon we headed on to a beach called Greenspool and Elephant Rock, and both were really quite stunning. Elephant rock was a secluded cove protected by huge boulders leaving crystal clear, perfectly still water for swimming and snorkelling. At one stage I was on the rock overlooking the pool, and glanced down and saw a huge fish ion the shallows near the beach- Smithy belted it down the rocks and straight in the water to catch it, and for a moment it was a scene straight out of SM.TV live, me screaming "right a bit, right a bit, left a bit you clown" and him swinging arms aimlessly screaming "where, where where you clown!!". Needless to say missed it by a nautical mile. After Greenspool and Elephant rock we headed north to our target town for the night called Warpole. The population of this place was a grand total of 437, and we would have had to have been blind not to notice how many recommendations for Tidy Towns awards they have. With this in mind, parking a grubby, grafitti ridden camper van anywhere in view was not going to be received too well by the neighbourhood watch, so after cooking up another feast of soup and chowder we decided to find elsewhere..."slight problem ere Kev.."says Smithy, "whats that" I said, "are you still hungry", "no" he says ""the faaacking batterys dead, we're here for the night!!".

Staying there for the night was not an option, plus there would be the added hassle of getting going the next day. We flagged down the only car we had seen for about 15 minutes at the side of the road, and prayed they were not axe murderers, or Scottish, Smithy said he never liked the Scottish. We were greeted with a "how r ye gettin on lads" and it was music to our ears- a camper-vans full of Dubliners! I waited until after they'd got us going to mention the Kerry win at Croker last year, and the imminant 3 in a row, but they were a good enough craic, and after that, we were on the road again. We found a small beach road, knew it would be quiet and dark, and headed down. As we turned in, we saw a raging fire, and a few people sat around it. Not being the shyest lads in town, we marched straight over with deck-chairs and a box of wine in hand and made some friends. We parked up the van within spitting distance of the ocean and slept well.

Today was a long drive day as we headed up here to Margaret River, but an enjoyable drive in the sunshine. We took the scenic route through a town called Pemberton, and spun up wesssht to a place called Gloucester on the advice of our new friends from the night before who had also given us their 2 day pass and saved us a few bob. Basically, I was the best tree house in the world. 1 huge huge tree in the centre of the national park, was fitted out with stake poles winding in a stair-case type fashion, up 51 metres to the forest canopy. From here you could see for miles and miles, and as long as you didnt stay too long, you would be able to face the backwards descent, and there was me thinking the ladders in Murphys site in Bankside were bad! We made it anyway, and got a few nice snaps.

We've both just been pure tinkers again and gone in looking for a shower to a hostel where we dont even stay. We would have gotten away with it only that Smithy went and asked to borrow a towl! Egit!!

We are off to explore the town now, find some food, and a safe place to park up the love machine. Its amazing what you can do in 4 days when you throw 2 wronguns in a van and give them a coastline to explore!

xx