I left it last time on the Friday evening in Melbourne. Well, as I said I headed off in to town to the comedy show in the Capitol theatre. I saw an absolute belter of a show featuring a guy called Steve Stade who had actually performed at one of the Jongleurs nights in Reading while at uni- and he was hillarious both then and now!

As I mentioned before, the size of the hostel in Melbourne, and the fact that I would be there for such a short time meant there was lttle or no chance of me meeting too many buddies. So after the show I ventured out alone around Melbourne in search mainly, of drum & bass. I was not disappointed. In the few bars I went into around the centre of the city, I was offered no less than 3 separate DnB nights happening around the city and met a sound group of young Australian bassheads who happily took me place to place for a bit of a rave. None of them however, could match me for dance moves, and a few asked for autographs ;-)

The next day I headed down to St.Kilda, the beachy part of the city. Its quite amazing actually how in 20 minutes you can go from being in the centre of a buzzing business district with huge firms offices such as E&Y, PWC and Shell, to a tiny beachside village with quaint coffee shops and lazy outdoor pubs. The harbour is busy but tidy, the beach clean but not amazing, and the general atmosphere is one of gentle escape from the bustle of Melbourne city centre.

I headed back into the city around 4pm, and decided on a visit to the famous aquarium on the banks of the Yarra. It did not disappoint. I saw huge fish I didnt even know existed, seahorses that looked like seaweed, moray eels that looked prehistoric, and that was just a warm-up. After meandering through a few floors of build-up, I eventually reached the huge fish bowl- the jewel in the crown. In this fish-bowl, contained behind 10-inch thick acrillic, were tiger sharks, 15 foot bullsharks, turtles, tuna, stingrays and manta-rays with a span of almost 3 metres. What made it so brilliant was the fact that they create a tunnel type atmosphere, so the fish are next to you and above you all at once. I had to ask myself why I bothered learning how to dive in Thailand, when I could have just come here for a few hours a day instead! On saturday night, I ventured out alone, but managed to find a really cool elctro club called Eve, complete with illuminous dance-floor, pretty ladies, Mario, Luigi, Beetlejuice and a lifeguard called Simian. Brilliant.

Sunday was the day I was looking forward to the most. Being in Melbourne for 4 days by now, you could not escape the hype being created by the Carlton Blues vs Collingwood game happening that afternoon at the MCG. I left early to get a good look around the world famous ground. Now, because Australia is only 200 years old, it had the benefit of taking the organistaional structures of 2000 years worth of city development across the globe, then creating very efficient and workable cities themselves. This is evident in Melbourne, as all the sporting facilties in the city, (Rod Laver tennis arena, Vodaphone stadium, Olympic swimming park + MCG) are all situated within a square mile of each other, a quarter of a mile from the motorway and on top of a 6 train-line nexis. I thought at first that the crowd looked a bit small arriving in dribs and drabs, until suddenly at 2.10pm when the ball was thrown in, 87,000 screaming fans packed the arena. I had a great seat behind the goal, and decided early on that I would be a Carlton Blues fan, as they had lost their last 15 games, and had not beaten Collingwood in 4 years. I clearly made all the difference, as Carlton romped home by some 20 points! The higlight of the day was definitely when a cocky Carlton fan stood up with 5 minutes to go, and started Mooning the Collingwood fans- no sooner had the tip of his backside been exposed- than it was filled with a meat pie! An unbelieveable shot from at least 15 feet away! That night I had a few beers whilst watching dirty scum Man Utd casually secure the league against a lacklustre Arsenal team. Poor show.

The next morning early, I set off on a 2 day, 1 night tour of the Great Ocean Road, a must-see for all travellers on the south coast. We drove for about 2 hours out of Melbourne before arriving at our first great historical and cultural landmark...the lighthouse from "Round the Twist"!!! Strange things happen eh? The tour was run by a retired school principal who knew absolutely everything about the area, and actually everything about Australia in general. He knew everywhere anyone had been, and could in fact add information to anything anyone told him which became slightly irritating. I was tempted at one stage to make up a town and an activity I had done there, and watch his reaction as in disbelief he had nothing to add to it...but I didnt, I'm too nice. He was very helpful and useful for the 2 days, but I think liked the sound of his voice a bit too much, especially as he had a microphone at his disposal at all times!!

The next stop was to go Koala spotting, which we did, but considering they sleep 20 hours of the day, they hardly put on an all singing all dancing performance for us! On we drove again, in our appropriately sized bus (only 12 of us, good for seeing things) and stopped off in a tiny rainforest area separate from the largely bush dominated terrain. We saw some very unusual grass plants, giant eucalyptus trees, mahoganies and even some fire beetles. Next stop was the real deal though- the 12 apostles. Basically, situated off Australia's "Shipwreck coast" are a series of broken rock formations which stand out just off the coast, and, at one stage, 12 of them formed along the coast thus justifying the name. There are now only about 7 left outstanding, but they are still spectacular, and we got a great sunny evening to view them.

Being the shipwreck coast, our guide obviously knew of about 499 out of the 500 shipwrecks there over the years. One story did however standout, about a captain who raced to Australia from the Thames in under 90 days, for a bounty of 5000 pounds, a fortune for the time. Upon seeing land, and setting a course along the shoreline to Melbourne, the cocky Captain prematurely decided it was party time- and headed underdeck to entertain a certain number of ladies. The lookouts in the crows nest shouted to the captain that they had become perilously close to the shore, and he should come up to deck to check its course. Being preoccupied of course and rather busy (playing cards i presume?), he declined and told them to keep course- sending the ship crashing into the reef sinking his vessell and killing over half the crew in the rough tides! Just goes to show you that even 200 years ago- women were nothing but the cause of trouble, distraction and disaster!

The scene was truly beautiful from the ground, but we imagined, even more beautiful form the air, so me and 3 others on the tour took a helicopter trip up and over the rocks, over the ocean for about 2km and back up again into the sunshine. The light illuminated the shoreline, and gave you a fantastic look at the coast both east and west. It was now easy to see why so many ships ran aground here, with pockets of white water (indicating rocks) as far out as 6 or 700 metres. We drove on into the the evening stopping only to take in the sunset and to have a feed before arriving at Ned's Beds for the night. Now I am always a bit conscious about my snoring, and usually tell people to throw something at me if I snore, and genrally, I stop for at least a while. I declined divulging this information this time, and boy am I glad I did, because on the bunkbed underneath me was a guy producing snoring noise that a dragon would have been proud of! At one stage I had to just sit up and laugh, I dont think the guy could have shouted that loud! I sleep like an angel compared to that man- so I jumped ship and ended up in the girls dorms- erm, I mean the sofa outside. lol.

The next day we woke up in the beautiful Grampian Mountains. Although not particularly high, the rocky outcrops overlook vast bush areas and lakes still occupied by the Aboriginees. We saw several Tamahawk Eagles, the spiritual creators of the grampians, some 4000 year old Aboriginal cave drawings, huge evidence of bush fires, and a stunning black slate faced waterfall. After a short stop at a winery with quick cellar tour and a bit of tasting, it was time to return to Melbourne. The great ocean road was really quite beautiful, but also reminded me of the wild and rocky Irish coast, but with the benefit of 30 degree weather, and sandy beaches.

That night, I took another horrible overnight bus to Sydney and arrived at around 11am Wednesday. It was time to meet up with another couple of friends, firstly Ellie, who when I burst in to her room looked a little worse for wear and had no make-up on! I hardly recognised her ahahaha- dont kill me! I was also meeting up with Paul, (Hoff) who had been in Sydney for about 3 months now, and fgor some reason had chosen a hostel in the Kings Cross area of Sydney, complete with junkies, naughty shops and homeless people. I wonder if theres something he's trying to tell us? First port of call was obviously the harbour, so Ellie and I and her friend Amilia went to get the mandatory shots of the harbour bridge and the opera house. I never realised the harbour bridge was so big! It was at one point quite surreal, being 11,000 miles from home, at one of the worlds greatest landmarks and being with one of my best pals from home! weird! That night a group of us went out in celebration of our re-union, and explored a bit of Sydney's vibrant nightlife. Banging!!!

Yesterday we spent a bit of time recovering, then did a bit of shopping around the city centre. I found it very similar to London in both price and style, but obviously lacks any real historical value or interest. The weather wasn't quite good enough to go to Bondi, so we headed out that evening to the Opera House and saw the comedian Reginald B Hunter. Hilarious- he even managed to scientifically prove that women cant drive, and also told a joke without a punchline- and everyone still laughed, quite a talent.

Today is a s***ter of a day and has been raining solidly since 9am- and there was me thinking Australia was one constant summer? I am meeting the lad Pat Corkery who i travelled with in Thailand this afternoon, and meeting the nutty Aussia lads I met in Laod tonight at a houseparty that we have been invited to. I am in Sydney until sunday, when Ali my old housemate will arrive- so I might stretch a couple of days to meet up with him. Its like being in the Student Union at the moment!!!

Australia is actually brilliant x