Kevin does 'the Repression Tour' as I have a fluffy (see the Purrffect Cat
Cafe) week!!!
Well, as Kevin left Hong Kong to travel to N Korea, I flew back for a girlie week with my friend ,Margaret, in Penang. We didn't hear from Kevin as there is no outside communication from NK (yes, we now refer to it as a Swedish Department store!!!)..
In his own words.....
And so to the big one - the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. We all know the news stories are sensationalized and generalised from specific incidents, so what was this intrepid traveller able to glean from his highly structured tour?
In general I have to say that I still can’t work out whether George Orwell was remarkably prescient or 1984 is used as a primer for autocratic dictators around the world.
We got off to a predictably slow start. The train left at 10.00, so we had to gather at 09.00 to go through China exit procedures. The train left on time and stopped at 10.02 on the Korean side of the river where we were treated to 2 hours of entry searches and forms. I had the novelty factor of being the only Caucasian. I was handed a form full of Chinese & Korean characters. Out of the 30 or so pieces of vital information I saw something that looked like a date, so filled that in. The Korean guard looked at it, looked at me, understood the futility of further communication and filed it at the back of the pile. It was all done in good humour and quite a few laughs along the way.
It’s planting time, so the whole western plain is a hive of farm labouring, every square centimetre is under cultivation. Very picturesque, very 18th century.
Then I was met by my ‘guides’. It took about 30 seconds before the phrase ‘imperialist US’ came up and another few minutes until ‘puppet army in South Korea’ and ‘puppet government’. Sadly no running dogs of capitalism. Then a few dos and don’ts for me:

- Hand over your passport
- You can go anywhere but if you go beyond the hotel gates you must carry a passport …
- When you have a shower make sure you put the curtain inside the bath. Ithink we were mixing perspectives on this one).

And a few little known facts about DPRK:

- They won the Korean war
- The imperialist US started it (still a lot of discussion about the Korean war)
- North Koreans are free to travel, especially to South Korea. The South Koreans just won’t let them in.
- South Koreans want to travel to the North, it’s just that their puppet regime who won’t let them leave.
- We need nuclear weapons for defence against the invading forces of the Imperialist US.
- The Korean people want unification and the President has put forward proposals for it. The Imperialist US and its puppet regime in South Korea have blocked them.
- And so on.
So how to describe the country?
It is a fully collectivised state, housing, land, education, health, basic food rations all provided by the state. No taxes.
When office workers have little to do they have to help in the fields – some say it is not popular, but as all food is heavily subsidised or free on rations, it seems fair enough.
All cars are government owned, so there are not that many, just wide roads (for the tanks I think) and no traffic. So no pollution either.
There is not an overbearing military or police presence on the streets such as I have seen in other authoritarian states. It seems very relaxed, just not much fun.
As everything is provided by the state there is no marketing, advertising, hoardings, even shop signs. Just so different from any other country. I could not even make out any shops, but they are at the bottom of apartment blocks. Not much on the shelves.
We went to a concert, so I asked how much it would cost for the guide to attend. Well, it is very expensive if I want to go as an individual, but if my work unit organises a night out for us it is not much.
Pyongyang is full of monumental revolutionary statuary and architecture.
Monuments and pictures of the President and Generalissimo. I became a little confused here as they were talking about President Kim il-Sung, who died about 20 years ago. But he is still the President. Similarly dear Kim Jong-il, star of Team America, Generalissimo of the people – he is actually very popular.
There is freedom of religion. Just no churches or temples. It’s advised to follow the state concept of Juche.
The metro stops at 9.30 each night – work finishes at 8, so everyone will be home by then! (I suspect it is to reduce the number of people trapped through the power cuts).
And so on. The guides are true believers and without any external news therefore vthe government propaganda is reality – this is now the 3rd generation under the Kims so there is no other reality than the worker’s paradise. For those who remember it I felt like The Prisoner with Patrick McGoohan.
I was comparing notes with a Chinese guy on the way out and we reckoned that the meat ration is about 500gms a month (plus 5 chicken legs). There are no fat people in DPRK, except for that chubby bloke with the funny haircut who keeps appearing on the TV.
So, as weird a place as you would expect, it’s fascinating how you can create such a different reality for people. And you have to respect the people – for them it works!
Now while you all have your noses to the grindstone, I have had time travelling to solve some of our problems.
So here is my energy and infrastructure policy for the next election. Build N nuclear power stations next to the current ones. N being a number to give a surplus generation. Fully explore the feasibility of fracking. Just because it's in Sussex instead of Northumberland does not mean we can't use it. We dug up a lot of the North for coal, so why not the South now? So then we are energy independent of Russia and unstable oil suppliers. Then all road and rail transport to be electric by 2030. b******s to oil companies. End all energy subsidies. Cost, we'll see, but it's doing something transformative.
Now, have I told you about my plans to solve London housing costs and the North/South divide by moving the political centre to Manchester .......
Have I been away too long?
Om ma nib ha ma hu
Think it has all got too much for Kevin!!!!
While he was busying philosophising on the wrongs of the world, Margaret and I were debating the most comfortable elevation on our sun loungers, and where to sightsee,eat and drink each day. Well, I had survived Tibet!!! Margaret loved Penang and the lovely warm temperature. It can be stormy at this time of the year but we were only dodging the heavy rain on the second day of her week here. We wandered the streets of Georgetown looking at the Chinese shop fronts, Little India, the clan jetties, temples and all the street life and art. We saw a Chinese Lion Dance on stilts at the Khoo Kongsi complex and photographed the guy dressed up as a character from Chinese Opera. (This week, I have discovered a wonderful museum of Teochew Opera puppets on Armenian Street). We visited the Pinang Peranakan Mansion which was full of wonderful antique furniture and collections, took 2 trishaws rides, saw a street artist painting a ballerina at end of Muntri Street, sat in a beach bar in Batu Ferringhu watching the sunset, went for manicures/pedicures in Gurney and went twice to the quirky Purrffect Cat Cafe nearby. Everything is cat themed including the cappuchino toppings and there are 8 cats to play with. Very Chinese and very funny. We caught up with Kevin in another of our finds, the 360 degree revolving Skybar at the Bayview hotel!!! Yes, it actually revolves and has fantastic views of Penang. Will definately return there. Margaret enjoyed eating tandoori at Kapitan in Little India and our evening at the Red Garden hawker centre watching the elderly Chinese man who gets up and mines to all the live entertainment. He seems to know all the words and has wonderful facial expressions and gesticulations. Much more entertaining than most of the singers!!!
Sad to see Margaret go (except I didn't as she left in the middle of the night for the first flight to KL!!!) All very quiet this week as we get ready for the arrival of Mike and Karen. We are together in Penang for 2 nights then all flying to Indonesian Borneo for a hardcore jungle orangutan week!!! So fellow ape- ers
will be impatient for my next blog. Will write it as we recover on the beach in Kota Kinabalu in Malaysian Borneo. Will be an expert on orangutans by then after seeing them in Sumatra in January, as well. Hoping not to have as close an encounter as Lisette did then!!!
All for now
Xxx