Welcome to the wonderful world of poo, otherwise known as Australia zoo. Here I spent a happy week shoveling excrement from a startling variety of creatures-camels, koalas, kangaroos, a raft of tropical birds, goats, sheep calves. Being slobbered on by a camel, cuddled in a death grip by a very stinky koala and seeing a cheeky kangaroo joey doing freaky alien impressions as he stretched his limbs from inside his mothers pouch to make it contort like a thing posse...

The Whitsundays had been highly recommended so off I went on a sailing trip, and everyone was so right, it was stunning. The islands are part of the Great Barrier Reef and have amazing marine life and beaches with sand so white it squeaks when you walk on it! (apparently it is 98% silica and because this is so special they made the Hubble telescope with it) You would think that by now I'd have found my sea legs, but sadly this is not the case! I chose a catamaran...

After a wee breakfast jaunt on a camel called Lucy, accompanied by a flock of rare Red Tailed Black Cockatoos, Cairns and the lovely Great Barrier Reef was a-calling. It was lovely and hot after the chilly desert, and I boarded a striking wooden vessel called The Falla and set sail for some serious snorkelling! The crazy crew dressed as hippies even let me drive, though when it got quite choppy the naked fear on the faces (not just in the eyes)of the punters was ...