We are idiots! I also think we're slightly unlucky, but Paula insists that mainly we're idiots. I don't know whether, when you extend your visa for another month, you get an additional month from the date you apply for the extension, or just a further month tagged onto the end of your original set of visa dates, but either way, with our visas expiring on the 28th November, we didn't need to leave it until we arrived in Hoi An on the morning of the 26th to address this supposedly simple task. Only we didn't arrive in Hoi An on the morning of the 26th (and this is where I argue misfortune has a small part to play). Previously unbeknownst to us prior to setting off for Hoi An, we had to change buses early in the morning in Hue, eleven hours from Ninh Binh and a further four hours to our destination. Only our bus driver didn't make the connection in time, so we had the morning to wait in Hue before getting the afternoon connection instead. Not a problem, we thought, visa extensions only take travel agencies a day to organise, we'd do it on the 27th instead, or even the 28th. But it was while we were enjoying what initially seemed like the added bonus of exploring the streets of Hue that we realised it was a Friday (I'm sure anyone who has backpacked will concur that it's easy to forget which day of the week it is, as for the most part the day of the week it is simply has no relevance), and whilst travel agences are open until late every day, the immigration offices they need to liaise with to get that all important visa extension stamp are closed at weekends. Oops! So we immediately abandoned our half day walking tour of Hue and found a travel agency, to see what could be done. The good news, we were informed several phone calls later, was that we could get hastily arranged visa extensions just in a nick of time, so a meeting with the authorities to discuss large fines and/or deportation wouldn't be necessary. The bad news, however, was that a) we could collect our passports on Monday (a reminder: we were four hours from our pre-booked hotel in Hoi An, south of Hue, with south being the general direction we were heading in, and b) we had no choice but to say yes. The small, friendly, smiling lady behind the desk knew it, we knew it, she had us over a barrel, and the cost of extending a visa suddenly increased from under twenty dollars to over thirty dollars per person. We paid, we had no choice. So, we had to either stay in Hue for three days or go to Hoi An and then come back, and we chose the latter. Sitting here right now, though, I guess there was a second bit of good news: it's much easier to write a more interesting blog entry when things go t*** up than when everything just works out nicely!

We finally got to Hoi An that evening, then, with just enough time to find our hotel, settle in, and go out and grab something to eat. One of the best meals we've had in Vietnam, in fact, at a small, veggie restaurant tucked away down a back alley, specialising, it turned out, in "mock meat". Quorn, Linda McCartney, eat your hearts out, your stuff doesn't touch Quan Chay Co Dam Restaurant's home-made efforts at pork slices and shrimps. Incredibly realistic, properly chewy, with bits of fat around the edges, incredibly tasty, and a tableful of dishes cost us the princely sum of £2.33 in total! It wasn't to be our sole visit to the establishment.

The next day we actually got to see Hoi An in daylight. An incredibly picturesque town, a really easy to manage size and orientation, and you can see why it's become such a popular tourist hub. At this juncture, however, I should point out that my opinions of places aren't always the shared opinion of both Paula and myself. Usually, but not always. Whereas I though Bac Ha, for instance, our location about a week earlier, was pleasant but that two days was enough, it was actually one of Paula's favourite places in Vietnam, being a laid back, totally genuine, non-touristy town, up in the northern mountains. And in contrast, whereas I thought Hoi An was lovely, for Paula the aesthetic was outweighed by the large number of rich, fat, western tourists, and she couldn't wait to get away! But there you go, win some, lose some, and like I said, we are generally of the same opinion about places.

We didn't actually do much for a couple of days. We met up with Erik and Puck, our fellow backpackers from back in Huangshan, China, and they'd managed to spend an entire week in Hoi An not really doing much, so it seems that this nothingness is an easy thing to fall into! As they put it, "we walk around a bit, we stop, have a drink, and then we walk around some more - it's great!". So we did that, and also squeezed in a bit of shopping. Me, for Paula's birthday on the Monday, and Paula got a couple of replicas of her favourite tops, Hoi An being most famous for its taylor-made clothes shops, which probably constitute at least two out of every three shops in the town. I contemplated getting a cheap yet high quality taylor-made suit, but decided I didn't want another suit (ever, in fact, ideally!). I then contemplated some light, cotton trousers, decided against it, and finally gave brief consideration to a light, cotton shirt, but couldn't be bothered. Shopping is dull. I think I'd rather have spent a couple of hours arranging for some computers to be recycled (this comment will only make sense to those aware of my previous employment).

It's also just quickly worth noting that although Hoi An is exceedingly touristy, to the extent that there are probably more western faces on the streets than locals, it only took walking a mile in any direction, or a short boat hop to a nearby island, to find villages pretty much devoid of westerners, and these were amongst the friendliest places I've been to in Vietnam. Plus, added bonus, in a small quest for toothpaste, I found some in a local village shop at a very reasonable price...with a price tag! What joy, no haggling required! And it was such a well hidden, stamped price tag, the shopkeeper could easily have asked for a higher price and I'd have been none the wiser, but instead he chose to seek out said price tag at great length! And he said he liked Liverpool Footbal Club! (Although I suspect that was a small untruth that crept out in the shared euphoria of the toothpaste moment, and if I'd have told him I supported Accrington Stanley I'd also have found a fellow fan).

So, our final day in Hoi An, Monday 29th November, and Paula's birthday! Paula's choice of itinerary, of course, so naturally we found ourselves on bikes, peddaling Forrest Gump-like towards a horizon. And sometime later, we fortunately found something in the distance, the Marble Mountains, where lots of shops selling marble sculptures can be found, made from marble imported from China. Which are crap, of course, but the Marble Mountains (should really be called Marble Hills) themselves are alright. A short climb up one provides a good viewpoint, if not the finest view of resorts in development up (China Beach, incidentally, apparently an American TV series of the past?) and down the coast. The highlight of the day, however, was gluttony! A bit thank you to Paula's sister Helen and partner Dave for transferring us food expenses for the day. After an extravagant breakfast of coffees, fruit smoothies, fruit salads, yoghurts and cheese toasties (first cheese toastie since Europe, very much enjoyed, even if not a typical breakfast dish!) (and sorry for sounding like one of Enid Blyton's Famous Five picnics), we went out for curry - a decision of pure genius by my girlfriend! Pappadoms, samosas, curries, the works, and a bottle of wine thrown in (and it still came to less than £20!). And adding to the activities and fine cuisine, my gifts of spare AAA batteries and chewy sweets seemed well received, so all in all a successful birthday!

Back to Hue, then, and our passports were thankfully there, complete with visa extension stamps. And, despite originally intending to bypass the city, we opted to stay for a couple of days, as rain was still forecast for the beaches further down the coast, and squeezing in Dalat would have been to much of exactly that, given that we had to be in Saigon on Friday, just three days later, for the arrival of Paula's friend Sara on the Saturday. A good decision, though, Hue is a very nice place! A really nice, relaxed atmosphere, not over-run by tourists, great food, and many a friendly face as we explored (on bikes again!) the surrounding towns and villages. Also, lots of temples if you're into that sort of thing. Which we're not, generally, but the architecture of Hue on the whole certainly plays a large part in defining the uniqueness of the city, particularly the central, walled citadel, with surrounding moat, within which a number of the temples are located. I'm almost saying I liked the temples, aren't I... but not quite! They're OK.

Next, an overnight train to Ho Chi Minh City, aka Saigon! "Saigon" - brilliant! A word that sits in my mind (rightly or wrongly) alongside others such as "'Nam", "napalm" and "charlie", thanks to Messrs Stone and Coppola - all very exciting!