Manifestations. Next step. It´s like stepping into unknown. The biggest unknown in my life. This story is about returning. About fear. About unconditional love.

<3 To the People of my life <3

I´m going to a big transmission in my life. I´m going to Finland.

First I thought I don´t wanna anyone to know. I wanna continue being free. I would eventually come, in my natural time, to hug all the amazing friends there, in the land of thousand lakes, millions of saunas and the best rye bread and liquorice in the world (!!!!). I really thought I would like to surprise my family and my friends.

Just suddenly be back! Yay!

SURPRISE! Like my family and friends did to me when I left Finland. They surprised me in the most beautiful way <3 I still remember standing in our hallway and saw so many happy faces I knew… Happy memories!

Now it´s not secret anymore. The uncertainty kicked in. I realized I need support. I can´t do this alone. I need you, my friends. My friends, you are my family. I met you years ago. With some of you I ve been in touch less with some of you more. Many times you´ve been with me in my heart, in my thoughts. Youve given me energy to keep on wondering on my path, when Ive been looking for my personal legend here and everywhere. The connection between you and me has been there in a way or another; your presence has been felt.

I hope I have been there for you when youve needed me. Remember I am here for you whenever you need support, someone to talk to or just a virtual hug! You all mean so much to me!!! I love YOU!!

The story goes..

New Zealand means a lot to me. I spend there magical two years!! I found my spirit and soul in the south and I found my body in the north. We are all good friends now, my body, mind, emotions and spirit.

I left New Zealand in the end of May to come to the States. I didn´t have a ticket onwards. In the airport in New Zealand they asked if I have one. I said no. They said you better get one. So I got a ticket to Finland. I didn´t really want to. But I kind of had to. They said it is better to get to a place where I can stay. I thought I´m always welcome to my home land. So I thought it is meant to be… That I will go to Finland.

I didn´t tell anyone. I wanted to see how I feel talking about it in the states. Folks were asking about my plans and I started to feel excitement. I told them! I am going to Finland! After many months of self-discovery, mastering myself, my reality and my life. I´m going back to a place where I spend 25 first years of my life. Where I grew up. Where I have some of the closest friends. My family. Some of them have got married, have got children. Have got a home. Some of them are not in Finland. The people who were part of my every day life once. The people who I may not have been in contact for long time now! I have no idea what´s going on in their lives.

I was so fortunate to leave my home, New Zealand, with my lovely soul sister Theresa two and a bit months ago. Her presence in my life during the last days in the land of ferns, during the plain ride (where I by the way learned to twist my tongue to the right! I knew just the left twist and in the plane I learned this amazing skill that gives more balance to my tongue and to my face and throat muscles, it´s awesome!!!) well anyway back to the story… and her presence during my first weeks in the States made it so much easier for me to enjoy every single moment I lived in the States. I wasn´t missing New Zealand, my tribe and my life there. Too much (I still miss, a lot! but I was prepared for worse, I honestly thought it would be harder)

Theresa and all the ABSOLUTELY AMAZING people, we met in the States helped me to stay in the moment! All the new friends and especially the friends we made in New Zealand. There is something very special to meet again with the folks I ve already once met. To meet them with beginner´s mind every time.

Long story short, It has been simply magical to be here and notice it was easy to leave NZ. Someone once said wisely good things happens for good people… :)

YEAAAHhhh!

I am a good person, don´t you think!!?

Anywayyssszzz.

I m asking now for loving support from you. I need your help when I come to Finland. I m anxious about going to Finland! I´m afraid.

I´ve been sooooooo free here.. So free. Flattering with my wings, flowing with the wind. New things EVERY DAY in my life. Lots of unknown! Cosh, traveling is fantastic and can be very challenging too! It´s fun. Takes a LOT´s of energy. I wouldn´t change a day of this time of MY LIFE. Maybe just the day when My family got the news I ve been lost in the bush for ten days.. That was NOT fun. On the other hand I learned a lot from that experience in the bush…

However. On my journey. I´ve changed. I ve experienced, learned, figured out many things. I wasn´t caught with the history, with the past. I could be fresh me every day. Whoever I was on that day!

I wanna have the same freedom when I come to Finland. And I´m afraid I won´t take it. that I will go back to the roles I once was. To the same patterns and routines, the habits and the tendencies I had.

I would like you to meet new person, new me and I´m willing to get to known to you again. To the person YOU are now. We have deserved it! The past is holding us so often… So often. Rigidly, ridiculously. I want new beginnings. Just freshness, crispiness. Yumminess.

Yamm mam mam. Nam.

I will be honest for what I need so I will manifest it! : ) : ) : )

I need your love and understanding to keep me wherever I am now. I may struggle. I may feel frustrated. I may be super happy and joyous. I may be confused. I may be eating too much ryebread and rieska and you know what happens after that! And I may need your loving shoulder.

I would love to see you

all! To hear what you been up to? What awesome things you've experienced and discovered? Im looking forward to witnessing the changes in you. Also in Finland. And maybe also the fact that Saaristolaisleipä comes only ready sliced nowadays. (I know I talk a lot about a bread , I miss Finnish bread so much!)

Have you heard anyone saying that returning is not easy? Or have you ever returned from a trip and noticed that it is actually harder returning to where you ve been already than it was arriving somewhere you ve never been before… Usually the person who returns has experienced a lot, has changed.

Peeps who stayed have been living their every day life. Yet there are many experiences in every day!

I know it will be a challenge for me to return. It is already now.

After writing this story I feel more free. More confident. And I´m ready to face that challenge. I will grow in it! It´s supercool!!! I can choose to grow in EVERY THING I experience. YAYYYYY!!! (this is one thing I´ve learned :)

I m so looking forward to hug you, to squeeze you until you all love me more than ever before <3 !!!

Just as I was writing this my new Latvian friend brought me delicious frozen youghurt (no sugar, no fat). Blessing! Blissing!

Chinga ling!

All my best thoughts, sparkles of joy and sprinkles of love to you all.

Jenny Furny Horny Lumi Sade Säde Fun Sun

May your day be full of love, beautiful insights, sighs, ease, emotions and laughter :D :D :D :D :D <3