I'm off to climb a glacier! The wonderful glazer of oz! Well, not oz, new Zealand but you get the idea! Hello from franz josef - glacier country baby!
Saturday was off to a shaky start, and by shaky I mean for gods sake don't shake me becuase I'm so hung over I might vomit on you! But anyway we arrived at franz josef early afternoon and straight away we were directed into the activity centre to book our glacier climbs - said to be one of the most amazing hikes in new Zealand and what was going to be the biggest bug most rewarding challenge of my trip :) I made sure to tell them about my heart and they said I could still do it which is always a good sign! So that evening was full of packing and planning and the charging of cameras galore ready for the next days adventure. Oh, and there was a hot tub, that took up a suprising amount if time to test it out as well! :p the main event if the evening however was the prize giving for the previous night - obviously I didn't win but I did get honourable mention for the sheer amountbif stars les had to pick out of the carpet the next day!
Then however, kane dropped the bomb. The hike was cancelled tomorrow due to unforseen circumstances but will definitly be open Monday for us to do it then. Well, to be honest we're not stupid and most of us realised pretty quick that someone must have died on today's hike, they just didn't want to tell us, and fair play to them - it's not exactly encouraging! Especially since we soon found out the guy died of a heart attack - really really not what I wanted to hear. Needless to say the parents were not pleased on skype that night and as much as I tried to convince them I would be fine, I was slightly absolutly terrified. I had been thinking about this and working toward it for so long that I kind of pushed aside the notion that I still had trouble with flights of stairs and just assumed my sheer will power alone would get me through - and part of me still really thinks it would have done.
But end of the day that choice was taken away from me. The next day we got up at 6 ad watched the footie at a nearby cafe, I repacked and cooked food to take with me for energy and we all sat and thought about the Maori people up there re-blessing the mountain and the people who knew the guy that had died - they all left on the coach that morning - and by the evening we were ready once again. We arrived at 8.15 to sign in and collect our equipment and just as I was signing my name they changed their minds. They turned round and said sorry, but we can't risk it. They offered me the half day instead but I just stood there, tears unintentionally streaming down my face, just thinking why would I put myself through this just to do it with a load of people I don't know and don't trust? The whole point was to experience it with this great little family I have found and for them to know how hard it was for me and for us all to get through it together. Doing it with japenese tourists didn't seem worth the obvious pain it would cause me. The worst thing was I knew it would hurt but I was prepared to do it and go through it all. Still, I walked out with my head held high and I went back to the hostel where I let it all out to mum on the phone, it just wasn't fair that somthing that happened nearly two years ago should still be effecting me and worse still something that could have been prevented in the first place. This wasn't like the tongarero crossing, I knew I couldn't do that and I didn't try, but this, I couldn't help but feel completly useless, devastated and dissapointed - in my self. It was definitly the worst day of my entire travels so far and even though mum and dad were all kinda blatently pleased but sympathetic at the same time, it was very close to breaking point for me and even now as I write this, it still hurts.
A couple hours later I had calmed down and couldn't really be angry at them anymore, they were doing it for my own good and after having someone die the day before - who can blame them. I went back later in the day to collect my full refund and I couldn't believe it, when I walked in the girl who had told me I could do it the day before, was there, smiling, asking if I had been up to much that morning. I very calmly removed my sunglasses so she could see my morning activity's effect on my eyes (red, puffy, you get the idea), put my card on the table and said I would like my refund now. And they were the last words I said to her.
Apart from a massivly long and cosy chat with mark about everything from philosophers to Christmas, the day was pretty quiet. Everyone got back around 5pm and the big news was that a guy on our bus had had to be airlifted off the hospital becuase he had had a heart attack three weeks before and hadn't told them! Stupid little b******. I know I had to deal with the dissapointment and I was angry and everything but to not tell them at all?! At least I value my life more than that. Anyway he had to pay £2000 for the helecopter and I slowly started to realise how close I had come to that being me...
Becuase the hike had been a day late kane decided to drive through the night to wannaka to get us there on time - how nice of him. And a beautiful night sky and a couple of shooting stars later, we were at the base hostel, queing for 40 minutes to check in, and saying goodbye to glacier country. I would like to say good ridence but it was a beautiful place really and I would probably go back. So just goodbye for now.
Xxx