hello from the town of 1770, this is basically a dissertation but read on its a 1st!

hello sorry for the length of this people at work get a brew and get comfy its a long ride but do read it all it ..s good stuff!! everyone else dont complain you havent really got lives!! enjoy x x

First of all apologies I know it has been quite a while I hope you are all still alive and kicking and everything is going good for everyone at home. It's pretty fair to say that I have been slightly busy. This comes with good and bad news, because I havent written in such a long time thi s is going to be one mother trucker of an email, but plus in that I cant remember most if so take that how ever you please I dont really care because im in Australia and your well...not!

Right here goes.....The last time I wrote I was in Malaysia. Since then I've been to Singapore, Sydney, Byron Bay, Surfers Paradise, Brisbane, Harvey Bay, Fraser Island and am now in 1770. Bloody blimey!!

Singapore was cool bit too much like London for my liking to be honest. We went to little india one night and as most of you know i am ridiculous with food but I have been trying I promise. So anyway had a look and all of these dirty gits are eating off leafs and and with their fingers, so I instantly thought sod that wheres Mc Donalds?? And yes I bloody well enjoyed my burger thank you! We also went down to Raffles if any of you know it apparently its a big deal to go there and have a singapore slingback and throw peanuts on the floor or something so we did and that sligbank was quite mingin!! we were only there for 2 nights and then off to Sydney!!

We were all so excited about it felt like we were going on a 2 week holiday so everyone was really up for it and we pretty much stayed drunk for the entire stay in Sydney, some might say thats a waste, but b***** it we had a bloody good time it was the festive season after all!! There were plenty of shenanigans in that place most of which I will be keeping to myself for the faint hearted and basically cant be bothered to give the sordid details, lets just say cargo bar wont be forgetting us anytime soon!! Christmas eve was brilliant we were on a massive boat party that went along the thames....err sorry sydney harbour, Twat! Anyway yeah under the bridge past the opera house and lots of other big buildings and pretty things. Christmas Day was cool, slightly strange not having my mum or dad putting a stupid voice on to wake me from my hungover state to open presents. Instead I had natalie in the bunk above me jumping out of bed screaming its christmas, quite possibly the biggest kid ever! it was sweet though we had done a secret santa so we all had things to open. But then it was shower get dressed and get down The Gaff (thats a bar by the way) for christmas dinner in the sunshine and then straight on the snake bites! Was weird sitting at a table of 13 people most of which I had only known for a short while all sitting outside in the heat with sunnies and santa hats I think we even ended up on bondi beach that night?? New years was also brilliant long but good we were down by the harbour to get our spots by 12.30 think we started drinkin at about 4 and basically got messed up, im one of the only people who actually remember the fireworks says alot as there were about 25 of us!! Holding the fort was a hard challenge all these other b*****s kept trying to invade but have no fears i ruled with an iron fist!! We did go to Torunga zoo or something whilst in sydney that was cool got a brilliant video of a gorilla dancing for me which will soon be going on my myspace which is if you dont already know www.myspace.com/jessicadimples. The beaches were great near sydney bondai was brilliant waves that nearly killed you but good fun, coggee was well good didnt make it to manly but we will when we go back.

Next stop Byron Bay!

I bloody love that place, so chilled everyone is a bloody hippy, theres buskers everywhere at every hour of the day and yes rosie did make friends with every one. we had many agood night there certain and several incidents but yet again no one ever need speak of them again! We also took a trip down to a lovely little place called nimbin, basically its a town where weed is legal! So us lot rented a car as did the boys minty, james, dani and ben and made our merry way down to the town of happiness, well thats how i like to remember it. we bought a simply red albun for the journey and fairground will now reain my nimbin theme tune! was well weird when we first got there all the walls are painted bright colours all the people seemed to have smiling faces until we turned a corner and some abo women is screamin and shoutin off her t*** with language that would make even my father blush! so yeh that was fun. first place we walked into was a "museum" with rooms painted with uv paint and black lights to mess you up even more, then all of a suddent all us girls were walkin around feeling very naughy whilst the boys got on with business that same crazy women comes in screaming obscenities at another poor unfortunate soul, im not gonna lie i s*** myself and made for the exit as soon as i could. in the end all was good. we didnt stick around for long and made our way back via some waterfall, was very pretty but i found myself pullin my mum routine and screaming at ben and dani when they got too close to the edge! and yet again all things worked out fine. that evening we had a bbq round the boys camp site ate some tasty cookies, and sorry mum and dad had a bit of a smoke up and had a bloody good night! its got to be done really! other than that most days in byron were spent just chillin in bliss.

Surfers!

Surfers Paradise was really nice but very much like an 18-30's holiday, i think that was manly due to our hostel called 'the british arms'! to give you an example of them im going to sing a song, this was the song we were ordered to sing on our backpackers big night out bar crawl, it went a little like this, ehm....

OH YES YOU KNOW: oh yes you know
WHAT YOU CAN DO: what you can do
OH YES YOU KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO
YOU CAN TAKE OFF OFF YOUR BRA AND KNICKERS AND WE'LL F**K THE A**E OFF YOU!!

Lovely!

It was a laugh though the people were really nice plus we went to the theme park and water park which were great fun, well the water park was fun the bloody theme park traumatised me! right at the end we had about 20 minutes left so i went with some of the others to the haunted house thought it would be a funny way to pass the time, jesus bloody christ! i thought it would be one of those ones where you sit in a little car thing and stuff just goes oooohhh, wasit my arse! we all had to stand in a line and put your hands on the person in front of yous shoulder, me thinkin i wont be scared im hard said dont worry i'll go first, BIG MISTAKE. I got a bit worried at first when some girl came out sayin shed lost her thong (flip flop to you pommies!!) so the bloke said she could go back in and she point blank refused and just said im not goin back in there! oh b*****! so anyway we go in and i instantly s*** myself! its pitch black, and theres all these fences everywhere with random w***ers dressed up like theyre dead running and screaming at us and hissing in my bloody face. so i was basically in a world of trouble i just fre4aked out when this t*** started hissing in my face and i was screaming and shouting and trying to get rid of but he wouldnt budge, i just didnt know what to do, so i resorted to violence!! i just started tryin to attack him with my bag, to which everything in my bag went everywhere, we were all scrabbling on the floor now trying to get my stuff but i was past caring, i just wanted to swap with someone to go in front of me but no b***** would. this then eneded up as a comedy sketch with no one wanting to swap places with me so we were all just running round in cirlcels with everyone tryin to avoid the front. the girls then got bored of this so b*****ED OFF AND LEFT ME ON MY OWN WITH ALL THE FREAKS!!! By this point i am in floods of tears, uncontrollable and in fits, i then saw the next crowd coming with a great brut of a man at the front so didnt know him from adam, nevertheless that didnt stop me from running up to him swinging my arms round his waste cryin and shouting repeatedly i dont like it i dont like it!! all of his group thought this hysterical stranger was absolutely bloody hilarious, tossers. so anyway we making good ground now and then i see the light EXIT!! I sprinted for it with all my might , and then this b**** came out from behind the curtain and basically i am convinced she wanted to murder me with fear, b****! so i had to run back to the man i was squeezing the life out of, who kindly escorted me out of the place. i was just trying to get myself together and wipe the tears away when i saw that one of the dead people had come outside!! oh b*****, i then proceeded to have a panic attack and could go out the way we were meant to, there was only one thing left to do! i had to climb the barriers and over everything that said no exit to get away from the zombie or creature of death what ever it bloody was! bloody hell i feel funny even talking about it, oh yeh you laugh have a great laugh and the big girl! thanks toss pot!

anyway that was surfers, next bisbane...actually that was crap cant be bothered to say anything about that, apart from dont go...HARVEY BAY!!

This was where we to fraser island from, what a bloody experience that was! one of the highlights of the trip, despite the fact that someone very nearly dies it was well good, actually we all came pretty close to death but i suppose that makes it all the more worth while!! we had to get up at 6.45 to get all our stuff together and pack up into the 4x4. which we did after a long while then we drove down to the ferry to take us to our adventure. we were put in a group of 11, consiting of our rable of 7 girls and then 4 guys, one being siobhans fella from sydney and then three other randoms. Jonathon, martin and shaun! all really cool guys jonathon and martin were such characters and shaun just kept our eyes happy to be honest but he is lovely and funny as well! martin said b***** all on the first day but then when he opened up ther wasnt much stopping him, and the fact that he sounded exactly like borat made everything he said evenm funnier, one of the best quotes was after rosie called someone a b**** and then he blurted out borat style..b****y SEX! My god he wsa funny, give him a vodka and your set for life! what did we do, im trying to think but im gettin tried!! frist day we went to lake mckenzie, absolutely beautiful fresh water lake this was where andrew nearly died, but the point is he didnt cant really be bothered to write about it but yes there was vomit! URGH! that night we set up camp with loads of other people and got everyone involved in our drinkin games it was obvious that we were the place to be, being so cool and all! then myself rosie shaun and anne went to look at the stars but anne b*****ed off sfter refusing to lie on the sand. these stars were the breatest thing i have ever seen, we saw at least 10/11 shooting stars, the milky way, every constalation imagineable, just pure beauty! the next day we drove down to a creek to wash om amd eat our coco pops in and use a toilet that wasnt a hole in the sand and then covered up with a shovel instead of flushing! we went all over the island and saw sharks and dolphins and loads of other beautiful games, but that night we camped up somewhere else with randoms because we couldnt make it where we wanted to because our car was being a b**** which also meant we had to take it to the mechanic who looked like he'd just jumped out of chainsaw masacre!!anyway that night we also played more drinkin games which everyone else soon got involved in. the shotgun was brilliant, stab a hole in the side of a botttle of beer open the can and drink it through the hole, once finshed run to the person standing about 6 metres away and run round them 10 times,. i spent most of my time crawling on the floor due to my inability to stand up, nevertheless i didnt let the team down and won!! wouldnt expect anything less really would you! the next day was also good but a b**** to have to ush a 3 ton piece of s*** along the sand to get it going with a hang over wasnt pleasent. oh yeh shaub taught me and anne how to drive on the beach which was well good, i changed gears and everything!

next stop the town of 1770!!

FINALLY BLOODY HELL I THINK MY FINGERS ARE GOIN TO FALL OFF!! It is so chilled here similar to byron but not as commercialised, its brilliant. i've got to be quick now because my 10hr bus rode to airly beach goes in 30 mins!! ahh. right basically iuts brilliant here, yesterday we went on a 3 hr motorbike ride on choppers around the town, goin super fast my bike was the best easy to say i over took everyone at some point and could have ten times over if i was a geek, but anyway loved that. oh and just because i didnt feel like doing much today me faye and shaun decided to go and fly a plane!! yes thats right not only do i drive boats, 4x4's, choppers i now fly planes!! the main pilot was like crocodile dundee absolute legend! he was doin all the silly things with it droppin it down like we were going to crash then shhooting it up high doing ridiculous turns upside down and just being a general mentalist, and then when i flew i was...just the nuts.

right b***** it sorry got to go love you all, wont leave it son long next time. peace out and remember dont be benders! x x x