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Hello people
I am currently in Mumbai preparing to leave India for New Zealand. It really feels like I just got here and I'm ashamed at having only spent three weeks here, having metaphorically barely scratched the surface even though I am well and truly covered in a layer of Indian grime. I will definitely have to come back one day for a longer period of time. When leaving Arvy's house his sister pressed from me a promise of a further visit, to which I readily acceded. "And with husband", she insisted. Horrified, I protested, "no!", until, reflecting on the potential lapse of time between this and my next visit, added, "well, maybe". She beamed at me. "Yes, and baby!" Anyway, before I plan my next visit, I need to account for the remainder of the current one.
Having left Udaipur behind, we arrived in Jaipur and set off on a day trip around the city. We went to the Amber Fort, which was pretty interesting, and seemed to have more elephants than people. We went back to the city centre by public bus, which was an experience, as I was wedged in with a grandmother on one side and a toddler on the other, all the time being consistently stared at by at least three men. Normally if you meet someone's eye they look away, but this was constant, unblinking, not to mention unnerving, staring. One even stood up to get a better look when the bus got crowded. By this time the food and the heat were starting to catch up on me, and I was slightly worse for wear, and I'd set off without eating anything. Jaipur was the hottest place I'd been to so far, and wandering around in the heat for a few hours on an empty stomach when I was under the weather had the result of me feeling even worse. When the trip culminated in a two mile walk back to the hotel in the full heat of the day I ended up just kind of collapsing and going to bed as soon as we got in, at about 4 o'clock.
So that was my day in Jaipur! Needless to say I wasn't left with a terribly favourable opinion, even aside from feeling poorly. We had to catch a 6am train the next day to Agra, so dragging myself out of bed to the train station, which was about a twenty minute walk, feeling (and apparently looking) like "one of those dead zombie things in a horror film" (thank you Arvy). Despite not looking in best shape this did not deter the men, who were becoming more and more ardent the deeper we travelled into Rajasthan, in any way. I got so fed up I am ashamed to say I went on a little rampage, and in the space of ten minutes told one guy to f off, advised another to take a picture, and stared out two more, the first of whom looked away guiltily and the second smiled and said hello.
Feeling suitably vindicated, I rose to the challenge of my next great India experience: boarding a train in "general" class. The train system is quite complicated in India and there are several classes, ranging from 1st class through to 3rd tier ac, sleeper, reserved seating and general. Also luggage; luggage includes people it seems. In general, you buy your ticket before you get on but unlike the other classes you aren't guaranteed a seat, a seat being a tiny corner of a wooden bench with buxom Indian grandmothers sleeping on you. Indian people like to get a seat very much. They also do not like queuing. Before the train had stopped, people started leaping on. Children were passed through windows (a very sensible safety precaution as it turned out). People yelled through windows and gave bribes (maybe the kids were bribes, who knows) to make those already on the train save them a seat. Finding myself at the centre of a group of about 30 Indians, I was pushed and squeezed from all sides onto the train. Still feeling a little sleepy and worse for wear until now, I rallied to the indignation of being shoved out of the way by a very tall Indian man while being pushed by ten more into a mysterious bag of something which was bigger than me, all the time with somebody standing on my shoe so I couldn't move anywhere. Responding with the old strategically placed elbow and sharp jab behind whilst looking around demurely trick (which I normally use to get to the bar in busy nightclubs), I managed to find myself on the train, and using my rucksack to squash a man who was trying to stop me sitting down, nestled into the spot Arvy had miraculously saved for us. The man who saved the seat (who was sitting himself) spent the next 4 hours bitterly complaining at having unknowingly forsaken a seat to a foreigner.
After that excitement, we arrived in Agra, the land of the Taj Mahal, where I ate food and went to sleep before waking up to visit the Taj. Now, don't get me wrong, the Taj Mahal is very pretty, and I appreciate the soul destroying love which moved the guy who built it to spend 20 years doing so to mark and mourn the loss of his wife. However, being that it's one of the seven wonders of the world, I wasn't that impressed to be honest. I mean, it's nice and all, but it's not that nice, I've seen much more impressive buildings which haven't made it close to any lists. I am also of the opinion that the guy should have just got over it and spent 20 years looking for a new wife, which would have made him a lot happier than building a tomb. Having said that though, it is a fantastic structure, and especially from a distance looks very like a palace straight out of a fairy tale. Perhaps I was disappointed when I got closer and realised it is after all just a regular building made with bricks (even if they are of marble) and there was nothing inside it. So the Taj: pretty from a distance, definitely, but I won't be in a rush to see it again, and if I did I'd stay at the entrance and admire it from there rather than rushing to see it in close-up.
Bearing in mind of course that I still feeling a bit crap, to put it mildly, and the actual town of Agra is horrendous and built entirely on tourism. Arvy and Deepti left the next day but I was stuck for a total of four days there. Agra was the hottest place ever, it was so hot I couldn't go outside or do anything at all much whilst it was daylight and spent three days lying in bed with the fan on reading throughout regular spontaneous power-cuts (not helpful when you need a fan, and a light) until I needed to go out to food where I had to dodge an army of men and children pressing on me to go in their rickshaw/buy tickets from them/use their internet/eat in their restaurant, who surrounded me every single time I stepped outside. I was planning on going to Delhi, then Varanasi, by train, but the guy couldn't get the tickets, so I had to sit it out until I could get a train to Mumbai.
Anyway, I eventually got my train and made it out, the only difficulties being narrowly missing both a proposal and suddenly seeing the train start to move whilst I was wandering on the platform somewhere in Maharashtra, necessitating a sprint to my carriage and a few seconds of panic. I wasn't really looking forward to Mumbai as everyone had said it was a horrible place and even advised going straight from the train station to the airport on the day of my flight. I was very pleasantly surprised, therefore, to discover that Mumbai is a great city and I really like it here. After getting off the train and escaping my new suitor, I took a taxi to the Salvation Army Hostel, which is the only place you can get cheap accommodation in Mumbai, at 200 rupees for a dorm bed and breakfast. The taxi driver promptly tried to swindle me by charging me double and attempting to distract me with a conversation about the differing morals regarding relationships in India and western countries (apparently I'm promiscuous), but I swindled him back by threatening to go to the police station and probably underpaid him. Haha, sucker.
I went for a walk the next morning and found myself in a place which seemed to reflect what you'd end up with if you crossed London, Hawaii and Brighton. Just down the road from the hostel was a seafront and dock, and when I embarked upon the walking tour from the Lonely Planet book, I found myself wandering amongst buildings which looked like they'd come straight out of nineteenth century London, scattered incongruously amongst palm trees. This, combined with relatively colder temperatures (with the help of a sea breeze) and a distinct absence of overly lecherous men, made me very happy. It was really a relief to be amongst people just going about their daily lives and ignoring me, instead of chasing after me insisting I buy something or go to a waterfall. I walked up to Chowpatty Beach in the evening, which is the Brighton part, with all the locals hanging out at a fairground. The seafront was filled with people either jogging or sitting around eating deep fried snacks.
That evening I met Yun and Mela, from South Korea and Poland respectively. After chatting for a while about everything from 24 hour meditation (where you're only allowed one meal a day and not allowed to speak to anyone, or read a book, or even look around you, for ten days) to men, we realised we had quite a bit in common so we explored Mumbai further together. Yesterday we went to the markets, which are spread over criss-crossing streets and are the kind which sell a different product in every area. My favourite was "car street", where they were actually cutting up and sticking cars back together. After finding a guide, an enthusiastic elderly Hindu man who took us to the tea and spices street, we found some tea for Mela to take home. Gratified by me expressing my fondness for Indian Chai, the owner gave us leaving presents, and we are now the proud owners of Liberty Tea keyrings.
Anyway I need to go because I have to go to the airport and catch my flight. I don't really know what I'm going to do in NZ yet, but I am very excited about being cold (I'm sure I'll get bored of this soon enough) and being able to make my own food which won't poison me.
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