OK then. Well i happened to see in my login page that quite a few people had been conned into accepting my invitation to read this missive so I thought I should perhaps put some time and thought into the writing of it (i know how many english degrees are out there) and also that I should actually write something as an opener to try and garner some interest.

So this is actually the third time I have tried to write something on this godforsaken site so please bear with me. I crafted a masterpiece last week and the evil digibots in the computer decided to wipe it upon submission so I should warn you now that this will be a quick and dirty compared to the refinement of the last!

The trip over went surprisingly smoothly. I flew with Singapore airways and they provided me with over 100 films to peruse - sadly I had seen most of them - and the finest of food cooked by Gordon Ramsey himself if the propaganda was to be believed! They also gave me real cutlery so i was in a firm position to be able to hijack the plane and not worry about my plastic fork snapping if i pressed it against the neck of some unsuspecting air stewardess. Not that i would do anything like that but it was nice to be able to think about it!

The flight was crammed with the full spectrum of the population as per any normal flight:

1. The screaming child who even though they are presented with a colouring book and a selection of wax crayons, refuses to stop screaming to the embarrassment of their parents and gaining the hatred of anyone and everyone around them.

2. The large chested verbose German woman sitting next to her hen-pecked balding (with comb-over) 5 foot 5 husband. She spent the majority of the flight demanding he get her drinks, change the film, stop encroaching on her pace (as if) and all sort of other amusements. it rather reminded me of that sketch from the two Ronnies where women took over the world.

3. The young air hostess who looked like she had spent the previous 24hours jacked up on drugs and indulging in all manner of revelries. She looked awful when she got on the flight, refusing to smile or serve anyone and things only deteriorated as the flight progressed. I believe she was sent to sleep it off about halfway through because she appeared looking marginally better later on.

And so the arrival in Bangkok:

My arrival was not at all what I expected. I have been to several third world countries before and expected this to be much the same. Upon landing (after a brief stop in Singapore) I was met by a brand new terminal building and wall to wall architecture straight from the west. Amazing! My amazemet continued as I was driven across the city in my taximeter (thanks Ali) (although written like that it does rather sound like a device for measuring tax - i wonder if the Labour Govt has one?! Anyway, I drove along glass smooth highways and off to the flank was an extension of the extremely efficient skytrain (a bit like a monorail/tram system) that is not only cheap but cold and efficient. we could learn a thing or two here.

I descended into the area of the Khao San Road (infamous i understand) and sought out my hostel. Unfortunately I was blessed with a brand new hostel and a brand new taxi driver and sadly the two had not been properly introduced so after asking all manner of street trader and policemen, I was having severe visions that I had p[aid my money to some scam where they accepted the deposits from unwitting travellers whilst offering nothing in return. Eventually, more by luck that judgement, i found the hostel and checked in - very nice. Or so I thought.

I checked in with home and went off in search of a well deserved beer and to explore the Khao Sanb rd and environs. My only report of it was that I didnt like it, it was unfriendly and first impressions were that i should leave as soon as possible. Not nice.

After the merriment of the first night I decided 3 days was sufficient to intensively throw myself around the city and take in the majority of the sites/sights. I set off with a mind to cover the southern half of the city on foot (as i had in Italy). The Rough Guide maps were somewhat lackig in detail so I had picked up a couple of city maps from the airport and off I went.

The 'good book' warns you about scammers who try and get you to go with them to shops where they relieve you off your money and possessions before abandoning you in an unknown part of the city and I thought I would be able to spot these as usually they simply try and force you to go with them. I was amazed at quite how many were drawn to me during my 45 minute walk to the Grand Palace. And the ingenuity of their stories and the bare faced lies they will tell. I was once again a tad disappointed by the people of Bangkok but I suppose any city wracked by backpackers is going to attract its fair share of conmen - and presumably the pickings are rich enough to justify it!

Anyway, using all my Army training to dodge the conmen, I arrived at the Palace (as you can see from the piccy). I was absolutely stunned. Having seen the Vatican in Rome this summer, I thought that this would be nice but not amazing. Not so - I was completely blown away by the level of intricacy and architecture that these people possess and that hasnt really changed for a thousand years. It was truly humbling to realise that most of these buildings were made by human effort not machinery. Grnted the Palace in Bangkok is only about 200 years old but it was a nearly exact copy of the one in Ayutthaya (the old capital) built much longer ago.

The other places I visited during the day (as the sore feet would provided testament to) were:

The reclining buddha (Wat Po) - a 40m long Buddha in gold lying down, The river boat network for some welcome respite from the pavement pounding as I decided to head to the North of the city)

The Golden mount, The Democracy monument and finally but probably most impressively, the Vimanmek Mansion museum. This was an amazing compound, I suppose our equivalent of which would be Windsor castle, housing a huge house made entirely of teak (the larget teak structure in the world) where King Rama V and VI lived. Surrounding it were immaculate gardens and all manner of other museums and the parliament building but the Mansion was just amazing - and banned all pictures im afraid. It was so intricately designed and contained the gifts of royalty from all manner of countries going back to Ming China dinner sets.

I left the mansion at the end of a long day and felt that for me, bangkok was complete as a tourist. I now just had the more seedy side to investigate which I did the next day. Im afraid I have run out of time for now so shall update you on the joys of Patpong and the ping pong show when i can.

For now, I hope it wasnt too boring and i shall work out how o get pics on asap so you can see what i am up to. Im off to see tigers at the Tiger temple now in Kanchanaburi. The site of the Bridge over the River Kwai. I have some catching up to do but I will tell you all about it as soon as I get a moment.