Coming to the end of Cambodia......The 25th Jan had arrived and it wastime to head for the Border with Vietnam. A new border had recently opened and was only 3 hours away, this piece of good fortune meant the journey should be relatively painless; we hired a private taxi as we didn't have any information whatsoever on what to expect!!


At nine o'clock our carriage arrived - except that Cinderella, the three uglysisters and a wrecking crew had been the previous passengers. The battered car was held together by chicken wire and chewing gum, the doors were there for balance and the wing mirrors merely ornaments on
this beast.The interior was just peachy - no speedo, no mileometer, all warning lights on and flashing, the windows didn't work which helped with Niks love of confined spaces. What about the driver I hear you ask who could be man enough to drive this marvel of the motor industry - step forward Mr Miyagi (a lookalike for the famed Karate Kidmentor). The journey began but being the sensitive soul I noticed that after about an hour Nik wasnt her normal relaxed self and was fascinated with the driver. Eventually I managed to break Niks trance "the driver has a twitch" she whispered and sure enough he had. He shut his eyes momentarily every ten seconds with a twitch reminiscent of a man suffering from St Vitus Dance disease. This added to the already overwhelming sense of safety and wellbeing. I suggested Nik put her Ipod on and quietly slipped a couple of Valium into her drink. The man drove like a man possessed holding on to each other as he swerved missing cars, aninals, bikes, children, chickens and anything esle that ventured foolishly into our path! I suggested he tried for Paris Dakar rally next year he just grinned and laughed manically.


The small fishing villages of Kampot and Kep flashed by and then it was time for some proper driving off road, this dirt track was like no other... the road was hilarious, m***********s and divets god knows how many times his car banged very loudly...it was like something out of top gear where I expected bits to start falling off in one of Jeremy Clarkson's mad stunts!!! But man and machine were not to be stopped and with a handbrake turn and a toothless grin he said "BORDER". By now we are surrounded by the Moto taxi mafia they are everywhere also shouting "BORDER" ("I learn English from a book" always springs to mind at this stage - Fawlty Towers). We paid the man and ventured outside did Thai border stuff and negotiated a price for the alleged 8 km trip across to Vietnam. In fact the border control was two minutes up the road here we filled form after form declared we had no guns drugs and grenades and received the nod to be on our way.


Our moto guys were actually taking us to the first town in Vietnam a quaint picturesques place full of demonic bus crews and their sidekicks. A stark contrast to Cambodia already...there was tarmac on the road, WHITE LINES in addition(!!), concerte style houses than wooden shacks and people were wearing helmets! We were deposited in a bus depot and after finally paying the drivers off we were harangued (after much shouting by every bus driver to get us on his bus!) onto a local bus....to where we didnt know. We felt like we were being press ganged into some sort of army but at least we were on our way.


The bus journey didnt start too well our driver seemed to think that the top speed was a mere 3 or 4 mile an hour Nik and I looked at each other we had been in this situation before and it wasnt good. But within 5 mins this all changed our driver became some sort of Coach stuntman who didnt use brakes only the accelerator and horn. It was mad we had two speeds flat out or stopped letting people on / off all the while edging forward ready to attain warp speed 9. by now the bus is filling up with locals and they are laughing at nik and I mainly due to the emergency seating position we have assumed. Next thing I know I have a 40 year old lady man-handling me, being unsure of the etiquette here I put a brave face on and let her carry on. What she was actually doing was secreting packages behind me and making sure they werent visible. Alas it wasnt just me soon all the occupants of the bus were keepers of these bags of goodies. It turned out that these boxes were cigarettes hundreds of them, Nik and I had stumbled upon a smuggling ring and I was sat next to Mrs Big! Having settled into our roles we began to enjoy the journey and the unknown destination became irrelevant.


Eventually we did arrive at Rach Gia this town does not get many tourists and Nik and I were something of an attraction. By now both of us were pretty tired and having found a hotel all we wanted was food and sleep.

Finding something to eat was not easy most restuarants didnt cater for the ignorant englishman eventually we found a place and both ordered chicken and noodles. A safe option or was it - when it arrived at the table Niks face was a picture and when she tried it the grimace was
beautiful. Needless to say we didnt eat all of it and retired not in the best shape. It was from this point that a combination of lack of sleep, dodgy food and many hours travelling caught up with us. Nik wasnt well during the night and the planned ferry trip in the am to Phu Ouc Island didnt seem a good idea. However not wanting to stay in Rach Gia we found a minibus company and did a four hour trip to a town on the Mekong called Can Tho...How nik survived I dont know but she did. After negotiating with the moto mafia we got to the tourist info place after much persuasion.