Hiyde ho folks, last time we spoke, we had plans to move on to Khon kaen by train for a change, instead of another ass numbing bus trip, (one down side of loosing weight is you end up with a boney ass) When we bought the tickets we were wished 'good luck' we smiled and thought nothing of it, ten minutes later we were on the train which had comfortable enough seats with loads of leg room and almost no body on the train. We pulled out of the station on time for our five hour trip, which we were kinda excited about as we havent been on a train since India, ten minutes later the train stopped at a station....no one got on no one got off we just sat, and sat and fourty minutes later another train went past us in the opposite dirrection, with only one track we had to wait for the other train to pass before we could carry on, (now sitting on a train for fourty minutes might not sound like that bigga deal, but go sit in a sauna fully clothed for fourty minutes and youll get an idea what it was like.) The train when moving was breezy and very pleasant, when it stopped it got very hot very quickly.
We had been flying along for about three hours, chatting about this and that when we became acutely aware of the constant whistle blowing of the train, then the screaching of metal on metal, and the smell and finally the crunshing thump and sudden blur of truck and people and root vegtables flying past the window "are we still on the tracks" asked hev as if that was a normal quistion "im not sure" i casually answered (supprising myself at how calm we both were) "i think we come off, oh no we are still going straight my appologise" (now those who know me know im partial to a good story but ,this is how calm we were, it scared us both later) and with that the train stoped as we had just totaled a blue truck carrying veg and people at a level crossing. I went camera in hand to the back of the train where i met a local guy i got chatting to whilst trying to take pics, he explained the reason everyone on the train was calm was..."its normal for trains to crash" so with all the stories of bus trips aside i aint in a great rush to get back on a train when its NORMAL to have a crash. The train was fine, the driver needed new undies but otherwise that was as incredible as our first train crash was, we pulled into khon kaen about fourty minutes late, in the UK you would have been put on busses and the line would have been closed for a week causing a world of travel chaos, Thailand forty minutes late!!
We after a tuk-tuk ride and trolling some 'rent by the hour' hotels setteled at an overpriced but nice hotel, we dumped the bags and went off to explore the town which we knew next to nothing about, and we were shocked, we found a temple in a park that was all lit up with fairy lights and spot lights, the whole place looked magical, they also had two giant screens set up in the park showing films for free, the locals would come down with food and sit on the grass to watch one of the two films, that wierdly didnt compete with each other to be heard. We left the park to find a drink on our way home, and ended up in Erics bar, where we met Duncan from the dingle, who when in the UK drank in the three stags, freaky, he told us he was drunk but tomorrow we should go to his bar and he would buy us a drink, so it was a date.
The next morning we searched out the fairy plaza cos hev liked the sound of it (she was crushed when we found no faries, but we did see a double big mac, which ive not tried ....yet) we wandered to the museum of Khon Kaen, and were stalked by an old lady, that i like to think, thought we were going to steal 'her presious things', the museum was a welcome break from the heat of the day, as almost all the exhibits were in thai it made little sence, (who would have guessed, a museum in thailand being in thai!!) from the museum we searched out the nine layered temple, with our street map this was quite an achivement for Hev-Hev (without whom i would have been hopelessly lost dozzens of times) the temple was large, golden and weirdly had animal and dinosaur mosiac floor tiles, the interior was huge with the ground floor being a place of worship and prayer, the next couple of floors on the other hand, looked like they had been decorated by monks who were smashed on poppies, and had put all the things they liked the look of together, stuffed wingless birds with a human skeleton, a giant fish trap and a musket, then a floor of golden dead monks, they looked like they had been dipped in gold just as they were about to die, very weird, the view from the top was well worth the climb and the world of weird crap (non of it was well looked after) On our way back to the hotel i bought bar-b -qued baby squid on a stick, only for the woman to whip them off the stick and chop up the first one before we could stop her, i ended up with two whole squid, one chopped up one, a bag of chopped cucumber and a bag of chilli sauce, the chopped up squid was the easiest to eat, so i decided to take food how ever the locals did from here on in. After a shower and a trip to night bazzar, for some excellent pork satay and peanut sauce and some gross coconut rice crap with preserved egg which hev bought, all washed down with seven eleven slushies, we headed off to Leo's bar to meet Duncan, who had run off because of earlier trouble, so we met the lovely alex and very drunk chris from scotland and manchester, both now live in thailand. After a drink and alex went home we were ready to leave, at that point duncan showed up and the night seemed to run away from us, it passed in a blur of ex-pats who live in thailand but hate it, Chang beer, and a lady who gave hev a rose and told her she loved her.
The next morning by some miracle we found ourselves in the bus station to catch the early bus to phitsanulok, the bus trip was seven hours, which flew past, it was the best trip so far, we got to the bus depo and decided we would walk the two k to town, untill a dog from 'dawn of the dead' barked at us, then we jumped in a tuk-tuk and asked him to take us to the london hotel (sorry we realy did as well) he in fact took us to tuol sleng (s21) well it looked the same as the rooms when we were there, creepy, we wandered around for a while untill we werte pointed in the direction of a hotel we stayed one night in, it wasnt bad but the one next door was better, that night we ate diner in a bar whilst watching united win there eighteenth title, wandered through a night bazzar then had a well deserved foot massage, which was bliss for our poor aching feet.
The next day we walked the lenght of town to find a series of temples, with the most beautifull buddha in all of thailand, which you dont have to pay for if you go through the back door, opps! We opted to take a tram tour of the town to make sure we didnt miss any of the sights, which was good but completely in thai, no atempt to explain any thing to the two 'whiteies' on the tram, the thing that made the trip loads of fun was the kid behind me who kept poking and stroking me, then got flustered when i turned round to poke him back, lucky for me his parents thought it was funny! When we got off the tram we bought some thai sausage, which was actualy rice inside a pork skin, not tasty.
We left the temples to walk back to town for a drink by the river, on the way we stumbled upon an exersie park, oh the fun, playing on leg swingers and rowing sea saws and just stuff and things, i cant belive how quickly i can embaress my wife with the aid of exersice equipment, that evening we went to the market and bought a four dollar picnic, that was fantastic, pork on sticks, thai pizza (which is wrong) sushi, corn on the cob, thai sausage (that were meat) we ate like kings.
We had a lazy day the next day, got up late played on the tinter web watching britans got talent videos on u-tube (no skype so we couldn't call anyone) and eatting cake, we did very little except eat more pork from the market. The following day we trecked out to the buddha casting foundation, the garden birds sancuary?? and the cultural museum.
What we could gather is this buddha foundation produce thousands of buddhas every year for temples, wats and peoples homes, we are a little unsure if they are the only producers of buddha in thailand, as our guide seamed not to understand this quistion, so we stay ignorant on this one. We were showed how the statues (all but the temple buddhas which a carved in sand cement) are made from silica moulds that are filled with wax, then covered in plaster, then have nails placed in the mould to fasten wire to the case to make sure it stays in place, its the covered in more plaster and placed in a kiln, where the wax melts and leaves a buddha void which they pour moulten bronze into, and voila you have a bronze buddha. The bird sancuary was just beutifull birds locked in tiny cages that have gone potty, they all bounce from one side of the cage the cage to the other, except the toucans and a little parrot, they looked like they wanted to die, it was gross so we left without paying, over the road was the cultural museum, which was big and intresting as the exhibits were in thai and english, the only problem was we got eatten alive whilst there which was a shame as we left earlier than we would have if we were not being eaten! After another fantastic picnic and a body massage we were ready to carry on our adventure to chang mai, so we got up early and got a tuk-tuk to the bus station where we had agreed to check the board for the best price to chang mai, we got out the tuk-tuk and that agreement stayed on board, hev went to the board and i bought two tickets to chang mai, i am unsually lucky, the tickets i bought were cheaper than any on the board, which is the only reason i survived. The bus trip to chaing mai was the usual ass numbing experience, except for the film (yes on a bus!!) it was the yes man in thai, and the only two white people on the bus were the only two people laughing. We had the name of a hotel we wanted when we got off the bus , hev bartered with tuk-tuk for a price she was willing to pay (she can be much tighter than me some times) and we booked in to the hotel when we got there, has our new slicker aproach to traverling lead to the end of death marches, well only time will tell, but for now we are loving chaing mai, making some exciting plans to go see tigers and elephants and local tribes and go white water rafting and bamboo rafting, but you must always remember what robert burns said when making plans 'the best laid plans of mice and men aft gan aglade' so watch this space.

'look at the size of that boys heed, im no kidding its like an orange on a tooth pick, thats a huge nogin, its a virtual planatiod, has its own weather system, heed move'
The shoe string two xoxo