Batten down the hatches this ones a biggie!!

Sometimes things can seem too good to be true, and some times they are.

Our fabulous airoplane bus when arriving in KL from Singapore dropped us off in the middle of no where, literally no where. We asked at the terminal the easiest way to get to China town where we would be staying, "Taxi" said the lady, we told her we couldn't afford one, besides the fact that we had no local currency having just arrived from Singapore we asked the quickest route on foot to the nearest public transport that would get us there. The woman had an incredulous look upon her face that said, "but your white of course you can afford a taxi" she actually said,"it will take too long you definately should get a taxi". I now felt she was probably on comission with a taxi company, we set off in the direction of big buildings that looked like they might be the city and decided we would be the deciders of wether it would take too long or not. We took a 10 minute walk to 7/11 where we found an ATM and next door was the monorail that would take us to china town. We purchased our tickets and waited on the platform with the masses, the first monorail pulled in already so full that people fell out when the doors opened, passengers from the platform still managed to somehow squeese in somehow. We waited for the next one wondering how we were ever going to fit with our backpacks on too, we were expecting the Malaysian version of the Japanese train loaders any minute. Thankfully when the next one arrived there was just enough room for us to board without having to take a running jump first. As the journey went on more people got off than got on so some space had opened up, it was however not much easier for us to move around with our giant bags on our backs. A lady desperately wanted to sit in the seat that had become vacant next to where Rob was standing but his bag was overhanging it while he moved to let other people out, so desperate was she that she stood there pokeing Rob in the backside until he moved, a very strange woman indeed - or not?! When we arrived at our station we took a moment to sit and ponder the map as to which way we should go next when a local man around our age asked if we were lost, realised we were going the same way as him and guided us there, nice guy. The evening markets had began to set up by the time we arrived which just made trying to find a room even more difficult. It felt like hours we bounced from one over priced slum to another, expensive boutique to dirty backpacker until we eventually found the Grocers Inn that for reasons you are soon to read about has become legendary to us. We were in a dorm of 6 and Rob was heavily out numbered, we chatted for a while with a German girl who shared our room and we later met an Indonesian woman, and two Dutch girls. We eventually ventured out into China town where we finaly got our cheap chineese dinner, followed by some roast chestnuts that were so sticky they turned our hands brown.
After wakeing up and enjoying a SE Asian breakfast of bread on out balcony (which we had to buy as the hostel had no free breakfast) I put on my tour guide Barbie hat and treated Rob to a walking tour of KL, which started from Merdeka square that was thankfully only a 10minute walk from our hostel. The square was used by the British for playing cricket, and where Malaysian independance was declared, these days it appears it is just used by crazy old men to run around in the mid morning heat. From Merdeka square we ventured to the Menara tower the 3rd hightest telecomunications tower in the world, for those who know me well this was truely terrifying but the view was well worth it, I think this was the best way to see the city. After a few hours of visiting the tower the complimentary reptile zoo and F1 racing game we elected to give the free donkey ride a miss. We headed out of the tower complex via the road rather than the jungle like before as we had been eaten alive by mossies, while we quizzed the security guard for directions back to China town a thunderstorm was brewing and as he was giving us instructions lightning struck the hut he was standing in almost defening us all. How the lightning managed to hit his hut when the building next door was the telecomunications tower we will never know. With the start of the thunderstorm we had to run to take refuge in a nearby shopping centre where after searching all the food outlets we found one that would cater for both our tastes, pie for me and cake for Rob. Having had enough excitement for one day we decided to walk back to China town where we spent the evening checking out the local markets, searching out cheap food and finding somewhere that would serve us beer in this muslim state.

Next morning it was our wedding anniversary, we got up at stupid o'clock to get some free tickets to up the patronas towers. We arrived at the ticket office at arround 8:30 to find shockingly around 100 people already queing, infact little did we know at this time the tickets were all gone, and the people who had got them had actually arrived at 6:30, stuff that for a game of smarties we settled for pictures from the outside. We treated ourselves, well Rob more than I to some mini muffins in the cafe before spending the following hours acting like children in the Patronas towers interactive fun zone, the sign said it should take 2 hours, we discovered it takes 4 if you do it properly, all the red buttons were pressed, all levers pulled and discs spun, it was great!! On our way home that night we stoped in at the bus station to purchace tickets for our onward journey the following day that would land us at the beach ready for Robs birthday the day after. This was never to happen, we got up on time, we left on time, the bus left on time, the bus didn't break down infact there were no problems with the bus. About 2 hours in to the journey Rob said, "balls ive left the purple file in KL" (the purple file contains our passports, visa cards, travel documents and our money, well played Rob). Six months ago I would have freaked out but now I laughed said it waould all be alright and we should get off at the next major town (Kuantan) and go to the police station, so thats what we did. The police were lovely, we arrived at the police training centre and they gave us a lift to the station, this was the first time ive ever been in the back of a police car (yeh I cant belive it either). We spent the next two hours filing reports, phoning the guest house to check locker number 7 where they found no flie, and being escorted to the internet cafe to cancell cards; the police in Kuantan have never heard of confidentiality, the officer with us seemed to take great pleasure in telling everybody of our misfortune, mind you it did get us free internet. In a moment of clarity Rob remebered the 24 hour CCTV advertised in the area of the guesthouse where the file was left. We called the guest house to check the tapes, and called them again a while later and they still could not find the file. The only thing left for us to do was return to KL and look for ourselves. The bus journey to Kuantan had taken 3 hours thanks to crazy Joe the return journey only took 2. We walked through the door of the hostel at 10pm only to be greeted by the owner who told us he had news for us both good and bad. Good - "ive found your file", bad - "your moneys been stolen", more good "the theif was caught on CCTV". We then watched ourselves being robbed on the CCTV footage by none other than our Indonesian room mate. At least we had our passports back, thanks to our very own columbo, with a huge sigh of relief we went out for a drink.

Next day (Robs birthday) we found ourselves once again sitting in a police station filing reports, this time with CCTV on our side. An elaborate plan was concocted between the guest house and police to capture our criminal, she would be returning to the Hostel in a few days to collect her lugage and the trap would be sprung. We now headed to the bus station to finaly catch the bus to Cherating so we might still get to the beach for what was left of Robs birthday. The next bus wasn't until 9pm, so we decided to catch the bus back to Kuantan as we were told there would be a public bus from there. When we arrived in Kuantan we were told that the public buses went from a different depo which could be one of two locations, we yomped across town and arrived at our chosen depo, only to find unlike us that it was the right one. Next bus is in 40mins, we spent that 40 mins debating over wether we should splash out on a taxi as it was already getting late - hopes of getting to the beach during sunlight hours were slipping away. 10 minutes after getting on the bus we wished we'd got the taxi, for the first 20mins there was standing room only and we created alot of havoc with our luggage and general size. There were pleanty of "cool" kids on the bus who were smoking making everybody suffer and I was sure they were trying to burn my bag, only I couldn't turn round to look. For the last hour of the journey we managed to get a seat and we were arriving much later than we had ever planned. The last thing we needed now was a death march, and thats exactly what we got, endless hotels telling us "we're full" or "yes weve got a $100 room if you like" or just generally too grotty or unprotected from mosquitos, not what you want. Finaly we found a bed, and it shouldn't be described as anything other than that (if we ever stay in somewhere this bad again I know we are really in trouble), but hey it was Robs birthday we didn't want to be trapesing aroud with our luggage, we wanted to be out celebrating. We dumped our bags and headed out, we found the only bar in this very strange mainly desrted town, (eating in Malaysia is easy but if you like a beer with your dinner its much more difficult as its a Muslim country, thats why its best to stay in China town) we ordered a plate of chicken wings that arrived mainly raw twice so we decided to give them a miss, we did however manage to get Rob a Jack Daniels so not all was lost. Eventually we found a decent resturant and the day was saved.

Next morning while Rob was sleeping I decided he needed a re-do of his birthday as the last few days had been so bad. I went out found us a new hotel and a fabulous breakfast we could eat on the balcony of our new hotel. The rest of the day was spent lounging on the beach, eating pizza in the evening and playing chess. The next few days were spent the same way baring the pizza. Eventually we left Cherating feeling like we had stayed for too long and there must be so much more to see and do in Malaysia, in hein sight we wish we'd stayed longer.

The next place to visit was Kapas Island further North up the east coast. All the warning signs for disaster were there yet we stil decided to go. The bus arrived and hour late and dropped us off 2k past town as he'd forgotten that we were getting off there. We finaly negotiated our way to the ferry terminal to take us to the island and had just enough time to get to the cash machine before the last ferry left, (we had very limited funds and the island has no ATM). So of course the cash machine was out of order which meant we had no money, a very kind young man gave Rob a lift to the next nearest cash machines of course neither one of these worked either. We decided sod it we are going to the island but the last ferry had already gone, we managed to hitch a ride with the worlds grumpiest boat owner who ironicly was the owner of the hotel we were heading for. The boat journey, most people would have paid good money for at Alton Towers, with 6 foot crested waves throwing the boat around at times we thought we were done for, however our spirits were kept high by the German couple on the opposite side of the boat who had wave after wave crash on to them, guess we had the good side of the boat after all. We had checked the price of the hotel on the internet but when we arrived we found all of the prices had changed, Mr happy told us the prices on the internet were from the previous owners website, he just hadn't bothered to address it. So we had the choice of stumping up the difference or serching the other 6 hotels, which we did. Luckily for us we had arrived during the weekend and the other hotels were all full so we had not choice but to stay at the original place with Mr Happy and his wife. After settling in and going for a swim in the crystal clear water, we had dinner and went off to investigate the rest of the island. It was at this point we realised that we are the kind of people who like to be doing something, yes a day on the beach here and there is ok but we would rather be out seeing or doing something, and while this island had a lovely beach that was all there was to it. We had to check out of our hotel the next day anyway as it was fully booked, so we took this as the final omen not to be on the island and left.

When we reached the mainland we found a cash machine and it still wasn't playing ball, however it was working for other people. Slightly worried about our cash card we found an internet shop and checked our account but all was fine. We had just enough money left to pay for the bus journey to the next big town Terrenganu where with any luck we would resolve the problem. On arrival we managed to contact our bank via Skype (god bless the inventor of Skype) to find that the only problem is the advanced technology of the UK, as our cards have chips and Malaysia uses magnetic strips our card can not be read by most Malaysian ATM's thankfully HSBC the worlds local bank (lol) can use both types.

Fully loaded up with cash and with a hotel room found we ventured out to sample the delights of Terrenganu. The highlights of the next few days included a boat journey to a fishing village where we wandered in the heat for two hours and found no boats, so we went back and wandered around a giant market where we found clothes from the 70's, an abundance of dried fish and green turtle eggs which we were told by the locals we were chicken for not trying, to which our response was that we just dont like eating endangered species. Finaly the hard to put in to words never to be seen in the western world EDUTAINMENT park, a park filled with the minatures of the worlds greatest mosques, enough said we moved on.

Our next town was Merang, a sea side location where we had the entire beach to ourselves it was like a little slice of paradise. If I could change anything about it I'd move the resturant and shop a little closer to our guest house and then I think it would be just about perfect. On our first venture out to the resturant about 1.5k away I spotted a 6 foot water monitor lizzard crossing the road ahead of us, somehow Rob managed to miss it, im stil not sure how that was possible but I promise Im not telling an Uncle Steven tale. The lizzard was so unexpected that it took my voice away, and any susequent journey down this unlit path at night required us to bring an anti lizzard stick (4foot long 4inch thick lump of wood) and a torch, needless to say we never saw any more lizzards much to Robs dissapointment, although 3 cows did disappear while we were there!? The resturant when reached was well worth the walk, a huge buffet and fantastc rotis (thin pancake like fried bread filled with onions/eggs/beef etc and served with curry sauce dip - yummy) we were glad it was the only place to eat. We only got to spend a few days in Merang as we had to fly to Borneo from Singapore in a few days, and must return to KL first to see if the criminal had been caught and we could pick up our money.

We left Merang early in the morning and sat by the side of the road waiting for the bus as is the way in this part of the world, no bus stop is necessary just flag one down. Inevitably local people will stop any way and offer a lift at a price, you just wait for a price that is suitable for your budget. We ended up in a local chaps car who transfered us back to Terrenganu just in time for the next bus to KL. Sadly crazy Joe wasn't driving this time and the journey took what felt like forever. Eventually we arrived but in a different part of town than we thought, only a short train ride and walk away from China town. We checked back in to the legendary Grocers Inn only to be met once again by our very own columbo. He told us that the police had caught the woman who stole our money and retrieved it from her and that he had asked the inspector to leave the money with him ready for our return, strange we thought we never told him we were coming back. The other strange part of this story is that the inspector had our contact details e-mail address moblie phone number etc and he hadn't tried to contact us to tell us to come and claim our money, infact when we contacted him the next morning he seemed quite agreeved to have to return our money. In the end we weren't sure who had tried to rob us the indonesian lady, the guest house, or the police inspector, but never the less we got our money back, and too right too after all the hastle I think.

We had one full day in KL before catching the midnight bus to singapore. With that time we went to the Patronas towers shopping mall to watch the new Harry Potter movie and did a little shopping which mainly conicisted of food for our journey. Midnight came around and we caught the bus to singapore which we hoped would be as smooth and comfortable as the opposite journey, no chance, we started the journed with 17 passengers and finished with 3. Some people left the bus intentionally however others were ditched by the dirver as they took to long getting thorugh passport control and imigration, through our loud protests however the journey carried on. We arrived in Singapore earlier than the MRT started running (around 5am) so we had to sit around waiting for it to open, while chatting to our new Malaysian friend who had arrived to watch Liverpool v's Singapore that night. When the MRT finaly opened we discovered our notes were once again too big for the machine and we had to wait for the manned office to open. After alot of messing around we finaly made it to Singapore airport, we were stil early enough that we could give the outnumbered family a run for their money!! Sadly not the luxury of the international terminal but the budget terminal, it did have McDonalds so we made the most of it devouring breakfast before boarding our flight to Kota Kinabalu Malaysian Borneo/Sabah.

That storys for another time, and boy what a story Borneo makes. Until then:

My name is Dewey Finn. And, no, I'm not a licensed teacher, but I have been touched by your kids. And I'm pretty sure I've touched them.
Love and miss you all the shoestring two XOXO