So last time we spoke we were in Delhi waiting to see the Republic day parade, Delhi and most of its atractions were closed as a security precausion, so we did very little, waiting for this big awesome parade. We joined the fronging, madding crowds of locals and headed for Delhi gate to watch. As we got closer we spotted westeners heading the opposite way with bags, we had no bag so felt smug, we joined thousands of indians in the massive cue, a security gaurd spotted us and came over with a big grin and said "Hello sir, madam, no camera no mobile" we smiled back "what??" he seemed a little confused so repeated "No camera, no mobile" we clearly looked baffeled so he added" Inside parade". Gutted five days wasted waiting for something we now could only watch on tv [which made it look rubish anyway!]

Early next morning after very little sleep we made our way to the trainstation ready to be drugged, robbed and kidnapped by the thives and murderers whom lived on the trains, can you imagine how diserpointed we were when we spent five hours on a train with five young doctors who were pleasant and intrested in us and our passports as they had never seen either a brit or their passport. The only eventfull thing about the journney was the state of me slowly worsening in health, by the time we got to Agra i had turned a rather featching shade of green. We were met by the usual masses of auto rikshaw drivers whom thought we printed money for a living, so after some very savie bartering by hev we boarded the cheapest ride available, driven by Sameer, whom five minutes previous had been the most expensive taxi. He took us to the hotel telling bad jokes and dropping pearls of wisdom the whole way, "Dont worry chicken curry". The smooth talking driver persuaded us to go on a sightseeing tour the next day with him, Dehli belly had other thoughs as i remained room ridden all day whilst hev took rooftop pics and read her book, the reading shows how truely board she must have been. I dragged my self to the resturant in the hotel to combat my current perdicerment, thinking stodge will help, burger and chips, sounds great, simple quistion"what meat is the cheeseburger??" unexpected answer "No meat, cheese!" litterly a burger made from cheese, side step, "dry toast please" that was toast cooked over a candle which did not help. After another long sleep i got up for another crack at food, this time soup and omlette, worked a treat and we were able to go sight seeing, the next day.

We were picked up from the hotel and ran round all the tourist attractions by Sameer with explanations at every turn, he took us to off beat places to give us a more real experience, like the back of the Taj where we met "hello peter" lovely kid but not a clue what he was saying. We were both given the chace to drive sameers tuk tuk, which hev is a natural at and could make a lot of money if only i would give her to sameer?? me thinks the man hath other ideas? We were taken to the local laundery were locals washed clothes in the river and dried them on the banks, here four children desended upon us, wanting every thing from chocolate to pens and anything between, we managed to palm them off with a pen and a mirror. The kid we gave the mirror to had awesome hair and we felt he deserved to be able to see it! Friday the Taj is closed so we bummed around drinking beer shooting the breeze waiting to assault the Taj the next day, which did not go accoding to plan....

No where near the Taj Mahal is there a list of things that can and cant be taken into the grounds, so after cueing with more mental indians whom have no concept of personnel space i got to the front of the male only cue. A mini indian hitler [little strong i know i doubt he could have killed more than two jews never mind six million] to rumage through every pocket in our bag telling me mini campervans were not allowed and that spacehoppers were prohibited by Indian goverment, wicked, i am possibly the first ever international space hopper smuggler!! With a sense of humour failure i marched back to the hotel leaving hev in the capable hands of a class full of kids and their teacher. On my return i informed the heavily armed gaurd i was not rejoining the mental cue and he seemed to agree and marched me to the front to push in and smile at hitler and enter. Once in the grounds of the Taj we felt at ease at last indians were pointing their cameras at somthing other than us. The Taj Mahal is massivly impressive and clearly needs protecting, to do this properly it should be taken out of india, but then no one would come here, so i guess it stays. We had pics taken by a very nice man who fell in love with our camera and seemed to want to take every consievable photo, im sure he had a tear in his eye when he handed the camera back, that might just be because im a crap tipper but id like to think it was the camera. With the Taj seen and photographed from every angle we made our way to Agra station for another mugging, drugging extraviganser, this time alot more busy but still comfterable, even if five hours again. We got off at the wrong station in Jaipur because i assumed i knew best! The ten k tuk tuk ride was at least cheap and interesting as the guy had to stop a dozen times to ask directions, we pulled in to the hotel just gratfull for a bed.

We had planned to go for a walk to get to know Jaipur, that plan changed when we met Jooly [Juile] whom invited us to see how a real indian family lives, bearing in mind its the middle of the day on a busy road. "Yeah go on then we'll pop in", i think in Rajistahn that means "Please make me apart of your family". We stayed to play cricket with the kids, which is another of hevs hidden tallents, she faced spin bowling better than any englishman. Jooly insisted on us staying for chia and food, which was hard to refuse, hev was taught how to make chappatis, had her hands henna'd and was given three bangles, whilst being dressed in a sari. Later that eavining, when Pooja [Jooly's younger sister] arrived home from work, we were taken on a whistle stop tour of a collection of sights with 7 of us in one car (including 3 small children). Mostly of the sights where closed or closing but still, we got to experienc cold boiled potato in salt water in a hollow fryed flour ball, mmm yummy, i reached badly while they wolfed down half a dozen or so. We were then taken chicken shopping for tea. It was clucking when we turned up and plucked when we left, now that was fresh chicken. Pooja whipped up the most amazing curry in no time at all, which we gorged on, all in all a very odd but a brilliant day.

One of Joolys family ran a tuk tuk, so she arranged a tour for us the next day at a very cheap price, we left her house asking each other "Whats the catch, what are they after??". Jooly insited she made us breakfast and a packed lunch for the days adventure then we were taken to every sight in the book and about half a dozen more. We started at Jantar Mantar, built in its day to be able to acurately locate and study heavenly bodies, state of the art for its time, not just a futuristic sulpture park. Next we went to Jaiagra Fort which houses the worlds largest Cannon on wheels, it took 100kg per shot! The fort is way out of the city as are most of the main sights of Jaipur, and high up on a hill, which I guess you would expect for a fort. The views from the top where incredible, and the cannon was good too when we eventually found it, this fort was huge. Later on we visited the Amber fort, the one we had been waiting for. Some days you can reach the top by elephant treck but unfortunately not the day we went. We walked up the hill to reach the top, (this is where you can see pics of Rob confused as to if we are in China or not). Again a massive fort this one a bit more like Agra fort as it has a palice at its centre with pretty gardens and elaborately decorated rooms using inlated marble and mirrored glass.