Strange Times in La Ciudad de Nuestra Señora de La Paz

Acontecimientos Raros en La Ciudad de Nuestra Señora de La Paz

-Aka Wresting Chollitas, Death Road, Haircare and Llama Foetuses

As you enter, the first glimpse from the bus window will give the hint that La Paz is unlike any other place. The central CBD sits in the deepest part of a huge valley and the rest of the orangey hued buildings, (unfinished and unpainted to avoid taxes) sprawl the sides of the canyon hanging onto every cliff face.

Get off the bus and you should come across a Cholita. She is an old lady, usually very plump. She wears an ankle length, colourful pleated spanish-style skirt with many layers underneath. This gives the impression of being that much more well fed and therefore wealthy and fertile. She has a pretty embroidered blouse and a knitted cardigan or shawl and a brightly coloured blanket strapped to her back carrying whatever she might be selling at her roadside stall. She ties her long black hair in pigtails plaits, sometimes with additional wool extensions at the ends. Then, and this is the best bit, to complete the outfit she plonks a tradition Englishman's bowler hat on her head. These cholitas are everywhere and they are constantly eating.

Cholla was the derogatory word used by the conquering Spanish to stigmatise the indigenous people. It shouldn't be used lightly. However the diminutive softening to Cholita has been adopted by the locals as a proud rebuttal. So too are the wilfully provocative clothes and the headgear, at first enforced as ridicule in the 16th century but today a proud statement of identity. To this, add the seemingly bizarre activity of Sunday night wrestling...

On these evenings the whole family can witness the tongue in cheek spectacle of the wrestling Cholitas at the Colosseum in the sister city of El Alto. Bolivia has a deep love of Lucha Libre (free fighting or wrestiling) but on Sunday nights it is the Cholitas who enter the ring and fight numerous baddies as a cheering crowd consumes popcorn and coca cola. Although on the surface hilarious, there are strong moral lessons just beneath. The pantomime ringside bribes amount to nought for the cheating cholita. The arrogant male (or two) who dare to take on the heroic Cholita will find themselves thrown mercilessly to the floor or over the ropes as the niños scream for more (fake) blood. It can also get weird, and things take a real turn for the surreal when Spongebob Squarepants enters the ring only to be trounced by a masked baddie who finds a willing accomplice in the bent referee. Things are topped off when a Bolivian Elvis impersonator and green masked luchadore pal are pummelled by a slasher zombie wielding a real machete and what would appear to be a member of the audience dressed as a farmer. When machete sparks fly from the railings of the gringos enclosure you'll want to make a quick exit for the relative safety and normality of the bus.

You will see lots of real Cholitas around the Witches Market. Here the shops sell dead baby llamas, complete with fur, or in some cases dried up llama foetuses. If you ask one of the witches for a good luck charm for your travels, hope she doesn't suggest a dried llama foetus. You may be allocated a small collection of tat instead which includes: a small red bean, a dried yellow worm, some fake money, a tin bus, a tin horseshoe, a tin hand, a tin frog and your arcangel Rafael.

This good luck charm should hopefully prove its worth if braving La Paz's must-do activity, The Worlds Most Dangerous Road. The first 30km are a downhill breeze - you whizz along a paved highway through the clouds (you're at about 3500m above sea level) with stunning mountain views. But then you reach the gravel, narrow pass of The Death Road. If you are good at mountain biking, this is the fun and thrilling part. You can zoom down, around the blind corners and over the bumps and stones with ease. But for some of us, this is a terrifying ordeal. Your hands and arms will hurt for days afterwards due to squeezing the breaks and stiffening up with panic at every turn for another 30kms. Hopefully your group will not witness a minibus taxi falling 300 meters over the cliff, and you will not have to rescue injured locals trapped in the car.

If that sort of adventure isn't your cup-a-tea, then head to The Star of India British Indian Curry House where you can attempt The Worlds Most Dangerous Vindaloo and get that t-shirt instead. The llama tikka masala is also good.

If you are black, white, young, old, rich, poor, man, woman you can get a haircut for 20 Bolivianos (£2). La Paz is old skool in its layout. Different products of sale have their own areas. On Calle Llampu where the art shops are clustered you will also find woman manning little stalls selling powdered paint out of tins. Around the corner from the witches market on Sagarnaga you will find all of the sport shops in a row selling their fake North Face and Nike goods. The hairdressers are no different, so if you walk down Santa Cruz and your hair is a little bit needing of attention the hairdressers will practically drag you inside.

I was hoping they would. The guy was delighted to have a gringo customer and proudly placed me centre stage for my standard men's cut. He asked me what I wanted.

- corto al lado y al detras. Mas largo encima.

He seemed relieved at that since short at the sides and back, longer on top was probably the only thing he could deliver. Although a serious soul, my man joked with his hair sweeper as they marvelled at the blond hair mixing with all the other moreno clippings on the floor

- ask him if he wants it dyed said the lad, and they chuckle.

For the finale he asks me where I am from. I'm sure that because I said London he decided to glue the hair to my head with water, this being his impression of what a city gent might look like and being influenced by thoughts of grey suits, bowler hats and brollies.

He is surprised to receive (I imagine) his first ever 100% tip. Everyone's happy, especially Lindsay who roars with laughter when she sees my plastered side parting.

So thats just a flavour of the oddities on offer in Bolivia's capital. You may view La Paz as just a pit stop, but its actually a fascinating and quirky city which deserves a much longer stay during any South American journey.