Buenos Aires is loco. We arrived at Milhouse hostel which is basically the best hostel ever and we knew straight away this was going to be a city to party hard in. After crashing into our dorm we found two Israeli guys asleep - at 3pm. We left them to snooze and went to find Calle Florida, the black market for money exchange. Feeling flush after some illegal activity, we went shopping for necessities such as a crazy furry gilet, wedges and a huge floppy winter hat. Returning back to Milhouse we found the Israelis had left us a map with a trail to find them and meet them for pizza at a famous pizza bar, a treasure map for food of course we went to find them.

We wandered round the city for a while, Buenos Aires is like a South American Paris, almost European with pretty architecture and the streets lined with cafes. It wasn't long before we had some wine in our hand.

Went back to chill at Milhouse and made some more friends before our first night out.

Headed over to a Milhouse hostel party down the road after extensive predrinking with a generous Brazilian. The barmen thought it was hilarious to make us extra strong cocktails - pints of Buenos Aires ice tea were lethal. Met some insane and lovely people including German Chris, Scottish Tom and some crazy Argentines. Made it to Terrazas at 2am which was early for Argentina but ended up watching sunrise from the club gardens. The Israelis warned us to sleep before coming out if we wanted to last - we proved them wrong making it home at 8am in time for the hostel breakfast. May have included a trip to the police station... German Chris came in handy as our translator and said it was the funniest night of his life (no idea why...). Returned home minus an iPhone and a lot of dignity.

Woke up to memories of peeing in a police station plant pot, gaining an accidental boyfriend and taking one for the team. Dragged our sorry selves out to the Sunday antiques market the next afternoon which didn't actually sell any antiques. We did make some great hungover purchases though, including a Pope Francisco t shirt.

That night we wanted something quiet and chilled (and dark) to do so booked a tango show and dinner. Should have read the small print as we got there and they made us have a tango lesson in a brightly lit dance studio for a whole hour before we were allowed to eat. Safe to say our sensual sides didn't show up, too intimate and too many clammy hands for a hangover! The wine was on tap though and that perked us up a bit. The show was really good too.

Next day we took a bike tour through the city, after a shaky start through downtown we remembered how to actually ride a bike and enjoyed the tour a lot. Highlight was colourful La Boca where Beccy used her new tango moves and danced with a street performer, and we were offered the cooking and cleaning services of 3 boys who would let us have their bodies for free, tempting but no.

We'd heard from Mike that a cool thing to do on a Monday night was the local drum show called La Bomba De Tiempo. We told some people on the bike tour about it and ended up bringing half the hostel with us. It was absolutely crazy we got drunk and danced for hours with all hippy locals. By the time it died down it was only 11pm and realised we still had a few hours to kill before our night out really started, it was definitely steak o clock. milhouse recommended us a steak house and it was the best and biggest steak in the world. Mike was right we're definitely going to be rolling out of Argentina.

Went back to the hostel party and met up with our friends, then after some more lethal cocktails and a collapse or two from some people we knew, the last ones standing made it to Club Severino. Packed out floors with club classics and 90s tunes it was definitely a messy night. Phoebe even had a Gangnam style dance off, but the rest of the antics will stay with us as, as the t shirt says, what happens in Milhouse stays in Milhouse.

After waking up mysteriously covered in popcorn and struggling to regain our dignity once again, we ended on a bizarrely morbid note by visiting the famous city cemetery, a grim and eerie place full of huge mausoleums, creepy cats and coffin trolleys.

Time to detox so we headed to wine country, obviously.