Since we completed the Willy Wonka Chocolate river, our trip has accelerated immensely. Saw the biggest buddha in the world at Leshan to Riss holding a baby Panda in Chengdu.

Chengdu would have to be the cleanest Chinese city we had visited (and the largest at 38 million people). But that statement only lasted a few hours when I had the runs real bad... I was crook the whole two days, spending a majority of sightseeing overlooking the tiles in the bathroom. My pre-season salmonela training in Victoria St, Abotsford was no match for the chinese chicken.

In Chengdu, we vistited the Panda research base. Riss held a baby Panda, but I didn't as I thought I would explode all over the poor pandas fur. Plus I had to walk cross-legged in a hunch-back fetal-position kinda walk. Damn that chinese chicken!!

Then the overnight train to Xian. A Long 14hr journey, though we did stock up on 680ml beers at a price of 80 Australian cents!!! At Xian, we tried the famous Sichuan Hot Pot. A mass of boiling liquid on a bunson burner in the centre of the table. You dip raw meet and rabit leaves and veges, wait a few secs to cook, then down the throat before the highly toxic chilli touches the taste buds. When the tears started to roll down my cheaks, they provide a glass of bean curd. Tastes like crap, but soothed the toncils.

Next in Xian we visited the Terracotta Warriors (the eighth wonder of the world). It was truely amazing and phenominal. A huge pit full of 5,000 two metre tall soldiers all individually different. Other pits included charriots and archers. The pits were only found in 1974 by a local farmer who I met and had my book signed. Priceless.

Then our last overnight train to Beijing (10hr trip). First day we visited the Forbidden City. A huge complex of chinese architecture and millions of chinese. The city was the palace to the Chinese Emporers, built in 1600's and offlimits to the public until 1946. There is 9,999 rooms (serious, 9 is some mystical number to the chinese) including one a bloody Starbucks!!!

We spent two hours there, in a sweat pool and fighting for photographic positions with the chinese. Then tinanimmen square, the sight of the tinanimmen square massacre. Really a mass of concrete and thousands of people wandering amersely.

That night we went to the famous acrobatic performance at the local theature. It was great, but to see the flexibility of the females made feel a bit squirmish. Watching their rubber spines bend in right angles and even 180 degrees, makes me wonder when I can't even touch my toes.

Great Wall of China (Stairs) was the next destination. An incredible length of brick and inconsistent steps that stretches 6000km's. The views were rewarding after sweating two litres, barging through groups of pensioners and tripping up numerous steps (my toes are still sore). The stretch of wall we visited was called Bidaling, the sight of many battles between the Chinese and the Mongolians. The mongolian beef one.

Last day in Beijing and also the last day of our Gecko's Tour, we went out with a bang. We dine'd on the signature dish of Beijing Duck. A duck that has been pumped full of drugs, air and cooked in the dirtiest ovens. A combination that proved delicious. I actually had a sample the night before. You can buy "Lay's" chips in the flavour of Beijing Duck.

After we went to a local pub with the tour leader for 3yuan beers. That's 60cents for 680ml's (cheapest ever). Sunk a fair few in preparation for the next destination...KAREOKE! Pissed as a parrot, they couldn't get me off stage. Next found an accoustic guitar and started strumming like I had serible pausy. I started roaming the room singing in drunk language and playing one chord. Well...I kept the locals were ammused and confused.

After geting back to the hotel at 2:30am, we had to leave early to the airport. Not the place you need to be when you have a decent hangover. The high altitude (low pressure) makes your head thump like a drum. Arriving in Shanghai, we decided to take a taxi (1-2hr trip).

The communication barrier was high, and it took long negotiations in sherades to get the taxi driving. We left the airport in a dash of fury, then my heart stopped...numerous occasions. We had in the word's of channel seven's Today/Tonight..."the taxi-driver from hell".

Driving down the freeway, he started to sing and possibly meditate. He would drive really fast then brake for no reason. Cars and unfortunately trucks had to swerve around us. Fearing for our safety, there was nothing we could do as we were on a freeway. Just brace ourselves in a crash position.

900 horns later, braking and changing gears constantly, stopping at traffic lights and forgetting to go on green, swerving over other lanes and sleeping everytime we got stuck in traffic...I gave the diagnosis of sleep deprivation, drunkiness and possibly skitzophrenia. He would beep a cars that weren't there and also wind down the window and yell abuse at the countryside. It was the worst taxi ride ever, and we have vowed to take the bus back to the airport.

Now safely on the ground in Shanghai, last night we went down to the waters edge for the moon festival. A huge fireworks display in the harbour overlooking the bigest full-moon all year and the impressive Oriental Pearl Tower. The tradition is to eat mooncakes. A pastry the size of a party pie with a mysterious filling. It could be a turkish delight or a oozing mass of bean curd. Like a kinda suprise, each mooncake is a adventure in itself.

For those who are interested, DVD's and VCD's are cheap! So far I've bought Collateral, Dodgeball and OCEAN'S TWELVE!!!! All at $3 each.

Tomorrow, our last tour leader is passing through Shanghai for a few days and we propose to catch up. Maybe a trip to Suzhou (pronounced Soojo), the chinese call it heavens gardens. I'm no Burkes Backyard fan, but I've heard it's impressive.

Anyway, my fingers are starting to get RSI, and you are probably wondering when this email will end. Well...The End.

Thanks for all your emails. And the football results!!!

Hope all is well. Talk soon.

Cheers,
Hatton.