Take a small, quiet mountain town and add a monstrosity of a natural wonder (Perito Moreno Glacier). Sprinkle over a few of the home comforts like a casino and tens of snazzy restaurants. Jack up the price of everything to almost double and then sit back, relax and watch the Gore-Tex nerds and rich pot-retirement yuppies flock to El Calafate like seagulls to a free chip.

I endured all the elements on my way. From the 5am ride out of Ushuaia in snow to the chilling winds whilst waiting hours for the bus ferry across the channel and also at the countless border inspections and immigration queues (they are really strict). The outlook was incredibly bleak, and after arriving in the miserable town of Rio Gallegos my mood sunk even lower. The kind of place you wouldn't send your worst enemy, it was über windy, and cold.

By the time I made it to Calafate it was 2am and I stumbled to my camper van sized hostel dorm, which was a legitimate crack den. Opened the door and almost slid to the other side of the room on an old (or slightly fresh?) condom, like some sort of rubbery banana peel. I pretended I hadn't noticed so as not to embarrass the Mexican couple asleep together in the single bed. I jumped into bed and shut my eyes and prayed I would fall asleep as quickly as I had entered the room.

I made the right desicion to leave that hostel for something slightly cleaner and opted for the mountain views over the city. After feeding the Desayuno Americano hard I checked in, walked around the city and bought my ticket for the major draw card to Calafate - Perito Moreno Glacier. The thing is pretty breathtaking. Putting to shame anything I had seen at Perisher Blue during my brief skiing career. The glacier is actually advancing 2m per day which is unusual as most glaciers are on the retreat. At a rough guess I would say it would have been 300m wide, 150m high and about 1km long, but I was too hypnotised by its beauty to give an accurate measurement! There were a few boardwalks you could take to get a different view of the beast, and even the small chunks of ice that fell off would make an earth shaking sound. It really makes you feel like a tiny ant, and I spent hours smashing all the salami, cheese, lettuce and tomato rolls I had packed just staring at it like a naked lady, except this time it was ok to look, in fact it was encouraged.

After having my mind blown I met my friend from Montevideo, Haley for some schooners at one of the many bars. It's funny how you can meet someone again in such a small continent, without even planning on it. As quickly as
I had arrived I was back on the bus the next day for another torturous bus ride some 28 hours away. I had definitely overstayed during my time in Calafate and was happy to be leaving the scores of confused tourists in my wake.