mmmmm well, this little jaunt to germany wasn't quite as planned. the original plan was a trip to belgium and the delights of brugge. however royally booked the flights, based on cheapness, so we ended up with hamburg. unfortunately Ben was in charge of booking the accomodation. strangely he decided to book accomodation in Cork, Ireland. now i guess there was some major communication problems between us. we dicided to change the accomodation to somewhere a little nearer to avoid dangerously high taxi and ferry fares for the weekend. accomodation sorted, flight sorted, and all for a cost of under £90, bargain me thinks. we flew out on the friday morning, so i met up with ben and royally on the thursday night. crashed at royallys that night, but we had to leave his house at 3.45am for our early flight from stanstead. which was nice. a quick beer at the airport before our luxurious ryan air flight. just over an hour for the flight, but nobody told us it was another hour and a half coach journey to hamburg. well my first impression are that it is bloody cold. nice to have some snow and ice on the paths and roads. not the most picturesque of town, but i suppose it has undergone some modernisation in the past. we find the hotel to be adequate, although there does seem to be a seedy element to the surroundings. we have to wait for the maids to make the room up so we amuse ourselves by speaking backwards. not sure why but it seemed like a good idea at the time. once the room is cleaned we catch a bit of shuteye before venturing out. the plan was to have a look around, get a travel pass and some dinner, this turned into a meal followed by lots of drinking until the early hours. we headed for the reeperbahn, translated "rope street" or ropey street. this was where all the bars were situated, it also happened to be where the red light district was. steak dinner of course before visiting a number of bars. a nice scandinavian bar with a barmaid who we could not decide whether she was a she or a he. and old man dancing with some other barmaid. weird. we did make it to a typical german bar near the hotel where we were warned by a helpful german to watch you wallet as there is alot of crime in this area. which was nice. personally i never felt threatened, seemed nice enough. next stop was an irish bar, those irish get everywhere hey, live music and some very large bottles of lager, infact i think it must have been a 5 pint bottle. next was a club called the dolls house. we were given some dollshouse dollars on entry, it soon became apparent what they were for. it was like a normal club, with a few dancing girls. ben left early taking the tube passes with him so myself and royally had to get a taxi home, a little worse for wear. Saturday morning and we have decided to do anything royally wants to do today as it is his birthday next week. first of a s***ty little italian restuarant situated just round the corner from a really nice italian on the harbour front. obviously we didnt notice the nice restuarant until after we had eaten. anyway some food and wine later we head off to the harbour and randomly decide to take a boat ride, thinking we might get to see some good sights of the city. well after 5 minutes of the guy who looked like captain birdseye ignoring royally when he is trying to buy tickets for the boat trip we finally get the tickets and board what we hope is the right boat. the river is frozen thick but has been mashed up by boats. well it takes another 20 minutes before we set of, we enjoy a glass of muld wine, by far one of my least favorite tipples. the boat struggles through the ice while captain birdseye gives us non stop commentary in german, unfurtunately i do not understand german. well the trip was shall we say, not as exciting as hoped. our trip consisted of a tour around the docks looking at various rusting ships and lots and lots of ice, will this torture ever end. well it did but only after an hour and a half. well after all that excitement we needed a drink, we tried a few random tube stops and found very little, so back to the reeperbahn. now it is so cold that we stop at the first bar we see, however bad they look. after a couple we end up in one that is showing german footbal. nice we go and sit in the indoor, outdoor section that has been dolled up to appear as a beach, complete with deckchairs and sun shades. we it didnt fool us. we played drink while you think to keep the drinking tempo going. did i mention that ben is really bad at this game. hunger sets in so we go for a traditional german tek mex. 1 mixed grill later and a extended discussion on how chewbacca could exist in normal life. a discussion that lasted probably 3 hours. from chewy catching fleas, to finding bew acting roles and his fears of being stereotyped into roles. his alcoholic years and not forgeting his problems with the dog pound. we head to another bar where we are the only customers, we were tricked by the sound of loud music, little did we know the speakers were outside and it was quiet inside. so we continues our chewy discussions. next stop yet another irish bar, with live music again. good music and a few more nice german largers. we watched as a tramp danced outside another bar to a girl dancing in the window. we were a little drunk now and decided to have a wander round, so much was going on around the streets, we came across an area that was completely barriered off with a notice forbiding entrance for under 18's and women. well the curiousity was too great so we had a wander through. it was the proper red light zone with women in windows trying to entice you in. we walked straight through without stopping, i just found it funny how they blocked a whole street off. i believe we had a couple more beers somewhere before heading back to the hotel, where a pringle fight began and ended. i feel sorry for the cleaners. Sunday is here and we have most of the day to waste before catching our bus to the airport and our delightful ryan air flight to stanstead. we wander round aimlessly occasionally catching a tube. we find the town centre with lots of good shopping, well it would be if it wasnt a sunday and everything was closed. we lose ben a couple of times troughout the day as he disappears to a local mcdonalds for a dump. personally i think that was an excuse to fit in a couple of burgers. we walk by the frozen river and stop for a coffee. after a while in there we realise that we are in an english themed pub, now thats weird. a macdonalds dinner is consumed before heading back to pick up our bags and head on back to slightly warmer, but not much, england. anyway, all in all an enjoyable trip, despite the cold. so where next?