The sexual life of the camel is stranger than anyone thinks

In the heat of the mating season it tries to b***** the Sphinx

But the Sphinx's anal spincter is blocked with the sands of the Nile

Which accounts for the hump on the camel....and the Sphinx's inscrutable smile

Well I have been there and done that (a visit to the Sphinx)..........along with several other thousands and thousands of 'eager' vistors so I have now gone from the smug role of 'world traveller' to tourist like everyone else. But the Sphinx is something to behold at close quarters. It must have been a wonder when it first emerged from the rock close by the pyramids but even now with all the people surrounding it still looks quite serene and aloof as if it knew it would be something of wonder forever.

Even managed to fight my way around the Egyptian Museum to see the mask and coffins of King Tut. Stunning to see them up close.......and I do mean up close as the crowd pushed over the guide ropes and surged up to the glass case holding the mask. One of my friends remarked that you could easily see how it was that venues like the British Museum might not want to return some of the artifacts they hold to their original source.

Racial stereotyping is rude but............have you ever seen four bus loads of russian tourists take on a national site?

Can't be many people who would go to a museum in their bathing costume - she - or charge through the crowds like a raging bull - him. and when it comes to photos it is a true pleasure to watch young russian women (usually blondes) throw themselves into what one of my group called 'soft porn mode' just as the camera clicks.

The Chinese of course run around in delight as crowds seem to make then feel at home and when they reach a photo op they all jump up and down holding their fingers in the famous victory V pose. (No one has yet found out why they do that)

Americans of course can always be relied on to be in numbers and to be wonderfully surprised and delighted when a tout puts a piece on stone in their hand as a 'gift from my country' and then appear so confused when the vendor asks for a fee for the 'gift'.

Us? Well we are too skint to buy too much and when the touts check out our foot wear it is usually a give away as we are not wearing branded trainers and so we fall into the group of last resort - 'please take my camel'.

Today - Saturday - four of us are setting out to play golf in full view of the pyramids and in temperatures of 38 degrees so this may be the last blog I do before the effects of sunstroke get me.

Managed last night to get to eat some 'local' food which was stuffed pigeon but either the birds here are very thin or someone had removed the breast meat before filling the bird with savoury rice. Still,,,,,,,,,anything is better than another chicken kebab.

Tomorrow........off to Aswan on a 'sit up and beg' overnght train then sailing back down the river on a felucca with occasional overnight stops along the way. Should be much better now that the enforced diet programme has stopped.

Forgot to say that I didn't climb Mount Sinai in the dark at 2.30 am to see the sunrise - along with 2000 other people and dozens of camels - so was able to gloat at everyone as they staggered back to the coach in the morning muttering things like "when I see the friend who told me to do this I am going to have words". Virtually everyone found the event to be along the lines of Mark Twain's remark that "experience is the name we give to our mistakes"