Hola mundo......como estas??? I apologise for the time its taken for this blog to appear but wow New Zealand was a hectic place.......by far the most we've done in one single country and not very friendly on the bank balance despite our pathetic attempts to stick to a budget!!! You'll be pleased to hear that today we will again get up close and personal with the stars of the ´five lost boys´…hearing their innermost secrets and revealing all, on their time, in the wonderful country that is New Zealand!!!Firstly, I shall provide you with a brief overall of what we have done and our rough route!!! We arrived in Aukland, NZ on Tuesday 2nd September at midday….where we sat eating subway sandwiches until our connecting flight to Christchurch in the South island picked us up at 5:30 pm. We didn't do a lot in Christchurch apart from book our Kiwi Experience bus ´Top Dog´ which was to take us all around the North and South islands of NZ….this bus by the way has been referred to as numerous things by the way e.g. ´the big green shagging wagon´…..´the booze bus´ they're probably two of the politest I've heard….we still don't know why though….we found the whole experience very civilized and very educational….don't know where they get this information from!!!In the South Island our route was Christchurch to Kaikoura……where Dan Brown got way too close to the wild seals in his attempt to create some form of David Attenborough-esk photo resulting in him being chased 20 yards by a seal flapping its flippers and shouting óooorrw ooooorw´ and nearly knocking Fred over on route…..not so funny for us but everyone else on the bus thought it was hilarious!!! Next destination was Picton and then onto Nelson where we stayed in an old English style pub and did some beer tasting. From Nelson we rented a car for the day and did a road and then boat trip to Kaiteriteri which was in Abel Tasman National Park (Abel Tasman being the Dutch man who founded NZ but never trod a foot on land after 3 of his crew were kidnapped, cooked and then eaten by the friendly Maori locals)!!! Yep we were a bit nervous going to this national park….5 unbelievably healthy looking gorgeous Brits would have been soup of the day for these lot!!! Instead at Ábel Tasman´ it was quite the contrast and after taking turns to pretend to execute Steve with an axe, for being a northerner…….2 Kiwi housewives asked us back to theirs for a drink or two…not gonna go into too much more detail on that but 2 hours later we were happy hammered boys and filming Áirport Olympics 2´on the beach!! After our interesting trip to Abel Tasman we decided to rent a car for another couple of days and take our chances off the beaten track with a 2 day trip to Takaka where we stayed in a very remote, run down hostel in the outback. Yeah the hostel had sky TV, we ate bbq´d steak and me and Fred spent 2 hours in the hot tub drinking ice cold beer, whilst the boys did the same watching Batman……but it was in the middle of know-where, and anything could have happened to us. From Takaka we went to visit the Waikoropupu Springs which is the biggest fresh water springs in Australasia pumping out 14,000 litres of water per second………we know and can comprehend facts and figures like these because we're experienced and cultured travelers…..…for you home dwellers that's approximately the equivalent of 40 tubs full of your mucky English bath water!!!!After our little trip off the beaten track…….managing to survive the NZ outback and shockingly facilitated hostel, we finally began our real experience on the dynasty that is the Kiwi Experience. We got on the bus at Nelson and began our trip with 30 other travelers to Westport. On route we stopped at Nelson Lake where Sharky and Dalmo filmed me, Steve and Fred jumping into the second coldest mass of water I've ever been in my life…….I'm sure you've watched the video on the website but it's basically us running jumping into the lake, then screaming like little girls trying to get out, then me rescuing Steve who couldn't get out before accidentally dropping him back into the icy water!! After a messy night in Westport of pool comps and drinking we headed to destination ´Poo Party` which for the Dads out there will be another whiski glass grabbing moment for……..with yes, yet another fancy dress comp!!! The theme behind the poo party was for each traveler to spend as little as they could in charity and fancy dress shops and dress up as what they considered to be their worst nightmare for the evening's shenanigans ahead!!! Daniel Dalmonego went as a baby…..wearing nothing but a nappy, with a dummy and a rattle……..Alex Parkinson went as a bride….wearing a self constructed wedding dress and of course thong and full facial make up…..i´d like to take this moment to add a disclaimer that marriage is not Alex's biggest fear, he was merely indulging the festivities…in fact Carly, well I shouldn't really say anything but Alex is thinking of…….ah actually I feel I've said too much already…it's nothing, forget it……wish computers had delete buttons then I'd just delete that last little bit…sorry Shark!!! Anyway I went as a ´fanatical American´(sorry again Abby)….i was wearing a pink leotard, a U.S swimming hat/ bandanna, goggles, of course make up and lippy and roller boots. Steve went as….Jesus I do not know how to phrase this….I´m gonna go with ´male manhood protection, that had split slightly´…read into that what you will….he was basically in a transparent bin liner with mayonnaise all over him……god that sounds really bad…..sorry Keith and Kathy…you raised him though so don't blame us!!! And last but not least Andrew ´previous winner of Fijian cross-dressing hula comp´ went in just his paints with suspicious stains around the gluteus maximus on them….nice Andy!!! The night was actually brilliant……everyone dressed up so well and it was without doubt one of the best nights we had there!!!The next morning I woke up still in the leotard……and make up….wow I looked good not to mention manly…….and we set off for to Franz Joseph where we did our Glacier Climb. The Glacier climb was amazing…..probably the best entire day there and something none of us had ever done anything like before…….it was especially good when Abby our crazy little yank friend fell over climbing down and slid straight into a pool of ice water and just lay there laughing!!! After Franz Joseph we journeyed onto Wanaka where we did our Skydive, needless to say it was amazing……climbing 12,000 and 15,000 feet for Andy and Alex and jumping out of an airplane….couldn't possibly put into words how good it was…you´ll have to watch our DVD's upon return!!! After Wanaka and our skydive it was onto Queenstown, one of the best places I've ever been. We were there about two weeks, maybe more in total, with road trips to Milford Sounds and Dunedon (furthest point away from England in the world…no offence anyone) in between. Queenstown was activity packed and party central!! In our time there we went Lugeing, Snowboarding x2, Frisbee golf, Canyon Swinging (scariest thing I've ever done…being thrown off 110 meter cliff backwards), Kayaking, this would be the coldest mass of water I've ever experienced, falling in after Sharky convincing me i´d be fine to stand up in my kayak and row…he was wrong and consequently I spentabout 15 minutes in freezing cold water trying to get back into my Kayak…and when finally did it sunk with me in it….I then had to be towed to sure by Steve….was not fun….I think we have a video somewhere of this to be posted (Dom?)!! We also did a few walks and I nearly died climbing a 16,000 feet high mountain (Ben Lohman Summit) with the funniest man in the world Dom and the drunkest man in the world Paul!!! Queenstown was something else and will certainly live long in the memories, activities all day, partying in buffalo, world and Base bar and waking up to Dr Phil every morning!!! We would also like to say a big hello to Jeff club and Lydia who we know from Northampton and are now living out there!! Also amongst all the joy of Queenstown….there was a sad moment to follow as we said goodbye to Daniel Dalmonego who set off on his own adventure completing the North island on his own before heading to South America ahead of schedule to go see the family….meant 5 weeks apart……we're together again now though…so no tears anyone!!After Queenstown we went back to Christchurch for one night which was a crazy night out with the yank girls……Yaga bombs ahoy!!! Then we completed the loop back to Kaikoura and then up to Picton and then got the ferry across to the Wellinton on the North island. Wellington was quite for us, we explored a bit… and the highlight there was by far the bumping into of Jonah Lomu in the supermarket and getting our photo´s taken with him…he had a head like a TV….massive…nice bloke though!! From Wellington we went to Taupo which was really cool little place……we had a walk around the lake, even went to a gym and had a couple of nights out with the Essex lads Jimmy and Flash…hello boys!!! After Taupo we went to Rotorua, which was a nice place but absolutely stank cos of the sulfur pools everywhere. We visited hot springs and spa's there and Sharky had a couple of crazy midlife crisis days going off on his own doing black and white water rafting, abseiling, cave climbing….I can see him in 15 years time buying a sports car and stuffing his pants…good luck with that Carly!!! From Rotorua it was on to Aukland for our final stop in NZ. We´d heard that there wasn´t too much to do in Aukland and this did seem to be the case before we met up with the Kiwi and Oz girls we had met in Fiji….Hayley, Tanya, Cindy and Jenny!!! We stayed with them for 4 nights and were dragged out for 3 of them……partying with the locals and drinking a hell of a lot……however, Kiwi girls are somehow able to party all night ridiculously and then still wake up early and be fine the next day….thus dragging us to viewpoints and beachfronts, parks…showing us their country!!! In all seriousness we had a great time girls and if your reading this thank you very much for having us and for showing us the local way off life for a few days….if you ever do manage to venture over to England and need somewhere to stay for a few days, then don't hesitate to look for a cheap hotel do not, I repeat do not under any circumstance try to track any of us down………our livers can't take it!!!!! Right that about raps it up……..New Zealand has been amazing and is much missed……last but not least wanna say massive hello and thanks to Aoife, Paul, Dom and Abby…!!!! We traveled the majority of NZ with these 4 after meeting them jumping into that lake in Nelson way back. Aoife we hope to see you out here, stop avoiding us…..we need more Irish lessons in both speaking and drinking…your a great girl and it was a pleasure to travel with you…even when you were hammered and just dancing the Irish jig!!! Dom…never met anyone like you…funniest man in the world….thanks for cooking for us, dragging our ass´s up mountains, for the jokes every 2 minutes and for being the legend you are…hope Oz goes well and will always remember ´Glow worms 4 minutes´. Paul….wow and people say it's the Irish that can drink…..was brilliant meeting you mate…had such awesome time with you, from the snowboarding lessons, the litres of vodka in the hot tub, to the nights in Buffalo where we couldn't even stand up anymore…you're a very missed man, all the best in Oz. Abigail Gierke….wow….aint you one of a kind….think we actually said goodbye to you a million times but you always tracked us down again!!! Us ´Princess boys` all had a great time traveling with you…..the skydiving, glacier climb (you falling over), the random walks and of course the nights out and Yaga bombs….we all miss you loads…good luck with your ski-season and I have no doubt will see you again…..p.s practice your hitchhiking!!!!Now to follow please read the quiz on part two of the blog (separately put on under differententry)!!!!! Adios para ahora!!!