I know I said I wouldn't leave it this long again, for my own benefit rather than anyone else's, but it happened and now I have to rack my brains to remember what I've been doing for the last week or so. When I last updated, I had just arrived in Koh Samui, after a 5am wake-up call, a ferry and a minibus ride. Exhausted, we spent that afternoon lazing on the beach, swimming in the pool, and enjoying Singapore Slings in the lukewarm jacuzzi. This is a life I could get used to. We also had a change around with rooms so I had the lovely Australian Jess as my room mate for the remainder of the trip. That evening, Sar took us to a restaurant at a nearby beach called Ark's, where we had a nice (not Thai) dinner right on the ocean. A few of us took a walk down the beach and checked out some flame throwers before we all went to see a ladyboy cabaret show. After the sleaziness of Patpong, I had my reservations but there was nothing sleazy about this all miming, all dancing show. Although Irish Shane didn't seem to fully appreciate the sights he saw. It was liking taking your granddad along. But these women, or men, were amazing. You honestly couldn't tell they were men, at least most of them, there was one that looked like a horrible Janet Jackson. And they were so skinny! They wowed us with some costumes that ranged from spectacular to debatable and numbers from Lady Marmalade to My Way. After that, we went to a club called the Green Mango where we had some more cocktails and hours of dancing before we couldn't handle the humidity and Jess needed a cheeseburger.

The next day, only Jess and I made breakfast, before heading down to the beach for a spot of sunbathing. A few hours later, Jess, Nicole and I got a massage at the hotel, on a raised terrace right over the beach which was glorious. Didn't get bum massaged this time but did get oil in my hair so there were highs and lows. That afternoon, the majority of us took a taxi over to the beach where we'd eaten the night before and indulged in a little shopping, sunbathing and dinner before heading back to the hotel, having a massive Queen singalong in the songthaeow. We sat on the beach with a few drinks before the effects of the 5am start took over and I went to bed. Unfortunately, the night ended with Shane getting riproaringly drunk, buying a round of six tequilas (three for him) and throwing himself in the sea shouting "Save me Graham', 'Ïrish' and 'Potatoes.' Pretty upset I missed that.

The next day and a minibus, ferry and a songthaeow in the pouring rain later, we ended up in Koh Tao, a small nearby island shped like a turtle and famous for snorkelling and diving. A few of us went shopping in the afternoon before all meet at a local Aussie bar, Choppers, where a rugby style match was taking place between Ireland and Australia. Australia lost. Jess and Nicole said it didn't matter because it was a stupid made up game between rugby and soccer, but the Irish were suitably smug nontheless. After some burgers, we all headed to the Lotus bar, right on the beach, where we had a few cocktails and the Irish had several buckets to themselves. At about eleven, terrential rain started and everyone tried to huddle under the small roof. However, Nicole, Jess and I thought we could do better and spent the next two hours dancing in the rain, in the sea. Everyone else except me had had the sense to put their swimsuits on earlier in the night, so I just did it in my underwear instead. Jess and Nic said luckily it looked just like a swimsuit anyway. We managed to rope a few of the others into joining us after a while, although regretted inviting Shane and Graham who had a preference for rugby tackling, and Shane even tried to steal a motorboat, though he didn't succeed.

Back at our huts, I went to take a shower while a few others played truth or dare on Mariette and Rachel's balcony. When I was drying my hair, I could see Graham, standing naked in the shrubs, singing the Irish national anthem so it;s probably best I opted for the shower. Shane's dare was to come and get me out of my room, using force if needed, but he responded well to my simple 'no.' The following day we took it easy with lunch at Choppers and returning there in the evening to watch The Dark Knight and hlaf of Iron Man, both with appalling Thai subtitles. And early start the next day for nine of us who had opted for the snorkelling day tour. We took a high speed boat out to several points around the island and I put my head in the sea for the first time in ten years, perhaps forever. Talk about facing your fears. I actually really enjoyed it, the scenery was gorgeous and we ended the day on the beach at a private island off the coast. Unfortunately, since the day was grey and had included some rain, most of us were slack with the sun cream and all ended up with burned backs, so we had ice cream to take the edge off.

That night we had an offical farewell dinner at a nearby restaurant and then headed back to the Lotus bar for a few hours. Jess and I called it a night quite early, and grabbed banana pancakes to eat while we sat out on our balcony for a few hours. The next day was mainly travel based as we took another ferry and an overnight train to make our way back to Bangkok, where the tour ended. Fairly uninteresting as there's only so much excitement you can find on a sleeper train, but spent a while playing I Spy with Nic, Jess and Shane before terrifying him by spotting a cockroach scuttling by his bed. I don't think he slept very well after that.

After arriving in Bangkok at 5.30am, Jess and I made our way to our hostel in the Sukhumvit district. Quite a nice hostel, cleaner that most places we've stayed but with a lot of drunk inhabitants. Met at 6am by drunk English divorcee who has just left his wife and children. Added together with the Vietnamese Communist Party worker I shared with last time in bangkok, I haven't had the best luck so far. After a few hours sleep, Jess and I had supposedly the 'best cheeseburger in South East Asia' according to Swedish Nick. Perhaps he didn't speak very good English, because he was wrong. That night, we took the Skytrain over to the Vertigo Bar, a rooftop bar at Bangkok's tallest building, where we met most of the group who were still in Bangkok. After leaving for some dinner, we had to return to the same bar to meet the Irish, who were three hours late. Most people drifted away as they had flights the next day, but Jess, Nic, Shane, Graham and I headed over to Patpong, where we whiled away the evening in an Irish bar. Also met back up with Claudia and Corinna so we had a chance to say goodbye. After presenting us with Irish badges, we sadly said goodbye to Shane and Graham and made our way home. Taxi driver got lost and wanted to overcharge us, but with a bit of arguing from Jess and our local drunks from the hostel, the situation was sorted.

The next morning, Jess and I had yet another cheeseburger (she's a bad influence) and headed over to Khao San road to meet Nic for a bit of shopping and dinner. Said our goodbyes with Nic, where they presented me with an Australia badge to add to my collection, although I am hoping to meet up with Nic, Jess and hopefully the Irish if they can be persuaded, and do the Great Ocean Road drive when I get to Australia. The following day, Jess and I headed to the airport for even more sad goodbyes while I flew to Phuket and she made her way back to Sydney. The past three days have been filled with a lot of sad goodbyes, as I have met some people I have had some bloody good fun with and have been sad to see them go.

During the last two days, I have been at Phuket, staying five minutes away from Karon and Kata beach, which are both white sands, clear ocean and gorgeous. Have spent the last two days sunbathing on the beach and trying to match my front to my much browner back, thanks to snorkelling. This has resulted in pink ribs and a red face, so I look perpetually angry. Have just had dinner, at the recommendation of my hostel owner, at a place next door. Good Thai food apparently. For a start, they didn't have chicken, so I just had rice again, and halfway through my rice, I noticed a pole and that all the employees were scantily clad women. So essentially, I have just had dinner, alone, in a pole dancing club. I have come to the conclusion that the hostel manager is a dirty old man.

I've got a couple more days in Phuket, that I won't be spending at that restaurant, before I head over to Singapore. Am planning to just take it easy, relax and try and turn the pink to brown. Have booked on a snorkelling day trip for the day after tomorrow so that at least I'm doing something slightly prodúctive. This tour will take me to Maya Bay, where The Beach was filmed, Coral Bay and Phi Phi island, where a James Bond was filmed. In the last month, I've managed to pack in quite a few film sets somehow. Have thorougly enjoyed my second, and final tour and am looking forward to a few days relaxing, a holiday from a holiday if you will, before a change of scenery. Will report back soon, hopefully with a differently coloured face.

Love always xxxxx