4am - screaming 2 year old. 5am - screaming 2 year old. 6am - screaming 2 year old. 7am - screaming 2 year old. Yip, it's official, we're not having babies. Breakfast was pre-dished and cold. Nothing like a cold, rubber egg on a Friday morning to put a spring in your step. I opted for cocoa-pops and coffee, leaving my ice cold breakfast to the elements.

We were fetched at 9am and taken to shore. We climbed inside what looked like a sheep-transportation device and headed for an elephant camp. It was a very bouncy ride and took longer than anyone had hoped, but we arrived and happily got off. We had to walk across a precarious bamboo type bridge which was fun and were greeted by a herd of majestic beasts.

We paid 20 Baht for some bamboo shoots and I fed an elephant, while his 'driver' laid across his neck, chain-smoking cigarettes. These elephants were freer than the last lot, you got the sense that they were indeed working animals, but they weren't slaves and were kept in much better conditions. There was one really old elephant with a strange shaped head and massive tusks. I didn't feel like it's head was normal and called it Frankenphant - Frankenstein the elephant. We were instructed to get on top and Edd and I chose an old guy (giving Frakenphant a wide berth). He was blind in his right eye and snotted on me as I climbed up. It was gross. The baskets at the top of these elephants were far more comfortable than the ones we rode in Kanchanaburi city and we settled in for our jungle trek on Nellie the Ellie (Edd named him. Original, I know).

We seemed to follow the river up stream and our driver climbed off, instructing one of us to get on Nellie's neck. Edd had already done this part, so said I should ride on the neck this time. His skin felt like rough grouting and he had hard hairs that stuck straight out. It felt like I was sitting on a dish brush. His forehead seemed to be cracking and flaking and I had to resist the erg to administer camphor cream to his situation.We got off next to the river after quite a long trek and stopped to have some pineapple and water, as a snack. We were going river rafting next and Edd and I were looking least forward to this as we'd done it before and it was boring.

This time, however, the river rafting was done standing up, on small bamboo rafts, with us guiding it along with long bamboo shoots. The river wasn't deep at all, as we were in their dry season and it was very low. Some of the other rafts capsized - on purpose - but I had our guide think our camera wasn't waterproof, so he didn't topple ours. It was great fun and half an hour later, we were back where we started.

We climbed back into the sheep-transporters and were bounced to a guest house where we'd have lunch, have some free time and then get collected at 4pm to go home. We had some pretty awful lunch, so I opted for the soup starters, eating both mine and Edds, instead of the egg, rice, chicken concoction in front of me. It was stupidly hot again and we all wanted to swim, but that wasn't an option. We could hire a bike, a moped, go to another market that sold Thai tat or chill out under the trees. Not a single person opted for any of the activities and everyone just sat around waiting for 4pm. I'd had the clever idea of laying in the room our bags had been put in, as it had a fan and ended up having a nap in there for the afternoon. I woke up feeling quite ill attributing it to the heat and inadequate liquid consumption.

The drivers were waiting for us in the parking lot and we sussed out which of them was the suicidal one from the trip up. Everyone that was in his mini bus on the journey up, got in the 2 alternative options. There was no way we were putting our lives at risk with that maniac again and opted for an older looking Thai man. He turned out to be a superb option and his driving was nothing short of impeccable. I continued to feel nauseous and upon stopping at the 'local restaurant' for some dinner, discovered my stomach was not a happy camper either. I ate a few mouthfuls of rice, as the food this place served was vile. Torrential rain had hit while we were eating (or not eating) and we all got soaked trying to scramble back into the mini buses.

Just over an hour later, we were at Tara B&B. I was feeling horrendous, with my skin being sore to touch, and collapsed on the bed - I was so relieved it was comfy, didn't squeak and had no bugs. We had a shower and I went straight to sleep, hoping the nausea from the heat and lack of hydration would be cured in the morning.