Friday 17th October. We started our journey inland and headed from Tully on the Coast back through the Hinterlands. We had planned to take this route rather than the main road as the scenery is supposed to be a lot nicer. We were a bit dubious as on our map the road we were planning to take was a broken line which means an unsealed main road. We have driven on some pretty dodgy sealed main roads so we didn't know what to expect. The first night we only got as far as Ravenshoe and camped at the railway museum again. Our first inland stop was a town called Innot Springs and in the shallow sandy creek that runs through the small town there are several hot springs depositing nearly boiling water into the creek. We found that some sections of the creek were to hot to even dip your toe in but once we found a section at bath temperature we dug ourselves out a hole in the sand and lay there for the unforeseeable future. We spent a good few hours here as we had not had a bath for several months. In sections of the creek it was thick with luminous green weed and the hotter the water the greener the weed. Looking like prunes we continued our journey inland through the Undara Volcanic National Park which houses the lava tubes which were formed 190,000 years ago by a three month eruption. The national park was swarming with kangaroos and we rescued a spiky lizard who was sunbathing on the road. We pushed him with my flip flop but he refused to budge, then he turned around and hissed and flared out a yellow flap on his chin. I then opted for a big stick to push him with and he ran off. We continued along the Savannah Way heading west and the scenery was changing from the lush green of the tableland to dry yellow grass and dry trees and then to red sand and even dryer looking trees. We slept the night in a small town called George Town with a population of 250. We parked by some public toilets next to a 4x4 that was curtained and had a pair of bare feet poking through between the front seats. The next day we got up early and headed for Normanton, the unsealed road was a bit dodgy, there was a broken narrow strip of tarmac and gravel just wide enough for one car and when you met an oncoming car you both pull of onto the hard red dust, wind the windows up and pass each other in a cloud of dust and with a spray of stones over the windscreen. When you passed a 50 meter road train you got as far of the road as possible. It was lucky that we only saw a vehicle about once an hour otherwise it would have taken us ages to drive this route. On the rare occasion you do pass another car the people will wave with both hands genuinely excited that they have seen someone else.The heat was unbearable we were sweating so much and as we have no air con we had the windows open pushing in hot wind. We have a thermometer in the van and in the shade of the van it was reading 47 degrees centigrade, in the sun on the dash it was over 60. We have a spray bottle that we spray ourselves with every five minutes. We arrived at the town of Normanton before 11am and saw lots of Aborigines sitting round drinking or staggering around the dusty streets. We filled with fuel then spotted a pub called The Big Purple Pub. It was packed with Aborigines all very drunk. We decided to have a well earned cold beer before setting off. We were the only white people in the pub (the token white guys). We sat and had our beer and watched people staggering around at 11am as if it was three am on Saturday night. One Aboriginal guy was telling me that the guy singing on TV was his dad, this guy was Slim Dusty a white folk singer. I told him a joke.. How do you get a fat bird to sleep with you? Piece of cake. And he literally fell of his stool with laughter. Two women were fighting outside and swinging each other round by the hair and nobody seemed to think that this was a problem. At midday when the bottle shop opened the pub instantly empties and people carrying crates of beer piled into various rust buckets of cars and pick-up trucks and the place was suddenly deserted. After our cultural experience we drove on to Cloncurry. This town had the hottest day on record a few years back at 58 degrees C. The petrol price had suddenly jumped up from $1.40 to just over $2. We camped in Cloncurry and had a swim in the pool at sunset to cool off, then in the morning we drove through the border from Queensland to the Northern Territory. Five minutes past the border is a police station with no other civilisation for more than two hours in each direction. In front of the station a police officer waved us down and breathalysed me, laughed at the fact we had a dry cleaning van then sent us on our way. We drove and stayed the night in a town called Barkley Homestead which is no more than a petrol station and a bar but is classed as a town with a population of 12.5 as they have a newborn. We were looking forward to a swim in their pool but found a black sludge pit so opted for cold showers. We decided we would drive all the way to Alice Springs the following morning which was about 900km and would probably take us ten hours. We have been driving at 80km because it saves petrol. We have tested this and if you travel at 110km which is the speed limit you get 260km out of one tank of fuel. At 80km you get an extra 100km so less speed more moulan is the new expression. We were on the road at 6am. This was by far the hottest and longest drive so far. We drank about ten litres of water (which is hot enough to make tea with) between us and sweat twice that amount. The road side is littered with dead cows and kangaroos and in the baking heat there is almost a constant stench of rotting meat. There are lots of wedge tail eagles feasting on the road kill and a few of them are road kill as well. We saw a couple of decapitated roos then saw the head further down the road. And just to gross you out even more most of the road kill gets eaten arse first leaving a gaping hole. Every where you stop you get bombarded by flies trying to climb in and drink out of your eyes, nose, mouth ears and any other oreaphis you have on display. When we finally reached Alice we found the hostel (Annie's Place) and booked in. We were able to book our place on the tour next day and were told we had to be ready at 5.30am. The tour, we had previously paid for when we booked our skydive and white water rafting back in July when we were in the Whitsunday's. It is a three day camping tour of Ayers Rock, The Olga's and Kings canyon camping in swags under the stars. We had $5 fish and chips from the hostel bar, showered then crashed out. The following morning (Wed 22nd) we hit the road on our tour bus with a diverse group of people. We had Germans, Brits, Dutch, American, Canadian, Asian and a loony Ozzy tour guide called Leith. The journey from Alice to Ayer's Rock is 500km so we had three stops along the way. First was a camel farm where people could ride a camel for five dollars, we didn't as we were saving the little money we had for a box of wine. The second stop was a petrol station that was again classed as a town with a population of 8.5 as they also have a baby. There were lots of emus at this stop and they had babies which were very comical, they were jumping on each other like kittens do, most strange. The final stop before the rock was a grog shop with very overpriced booze. A case of beer normally $35 was $63 and a box of goon (wine) normally $10-$15 was $26. We reached the rock and as it was quite windy the visibility was quite poor. You could see Uluru in the distance behind a cloud of red dust. Driving up to the rock you appreciate the shear size of the thing in the middle of a flat baron nothingness. We visited the visitors centre and read dreamtime creation stories and about the reasons why the Aborigines don't like you to climb the rock. It is a sacred place for indigenous men and women but has different areas for men's business and women's business. Most Aboriginal sacred sites are either for men or women and are very private and secretive to the opposite sex. We walked the 9.5km track around the rock in 38 degrees heat. Uluru is 350m high and it is believed that two thirds of the rock lies beneath the sand. It was beautiful, the colour somewhat unbelievable. There were vast holes and caves in it where dreamtime creatures had carved out in great battles i.e. the serpent snake. There was a woman's cave where pregnant women would sit for days to help the spirit of their unborn child. There was a man cave where boys would go as part of the ritual of turning into men, this was marked with five bulges out of the cave wall where boys had been waiting for the men to return but had been turned to stone as the men had been killed by a giant demon dog, there is a huge paw print from the dog on the other side of the cave. The whole way round the rock there are these men and women's places all with a story attached and a purpose for visiting but a lot of the sites and there purposes still remain secret to the Anangu people. After our walk we drove to a vantage point called sunset boulevard to watch the sun go down. The actual sunset was a bit crap and the colours in the rock were better in the day but it was a good experience whilst having drinks with our group. We got chatting to some old girls from one of the posh tours and they went and got us some free cold champagne and little paper cups of peanuts. We had Thai green curry for dinner which Leith our guide cooked before driving to a nearby site where we drunk till late and slept in swags under the stars. A swag is sort of a waxy big sleeping bag with a thin foam mattress inside, you unzip it, put your sleeping bag inside then zip up and sleep, or in my case get drunk and just sleep on top of it with your clothes on. We were woke up by Leith at 4am who was jumping around like a smurf on ecstasy running from swag to swag giving people wet willies. We were in the bus by 4.30am and back at Uluru to watch the sunrise at just gone 5am. This was a lot prettier that the sunset as the sun popped up behind the rock. When daylight arrived we had breakfast and I discovered the joy of peanut butter and chocolate spread sandwiches. It may sound disgusting but try it, a snickers sandwich, what could be better?! Next we drove to The Olga's (Kata Tjuta). This is a formation of rocks the same colour as Uluru but in my opinion far more spectacular. Uluru is one solid Rock where as Kata Tjuta is seven or so giant boulders almost dome shaped 200m higher than Uluru with walking tracks around and between them about 70 or so more smaller boulders. The name Kata Tjuta means many heads and represent the heads of warriors from the Tjukurpa people. It is a sacred men's place for men's business and still today although being swarmed buy coach loads of tourists, Tjukurpa women fear to visit the sacred site. We walked a 7.5km track through the valley of the winds, around the back then through the centre of the largest domes. It seemed quit surreal to have these giant towering boulders then look to the horizon and see nothing but flat red emptiness. After our walk we drove a few hours to camp at a farm where we had a fire, games and sing songs and lots more wine before swagging it next to smouldering embers. We were up at five as smurf Leith bounced around waking everyone up. I don't know how he's so hypo as he drives most of the day, plus drinks with us in the evenings and hardly has a day off. After some more snickers sandwiches for me and weet-a-bix eaten out of a cup for Vicki everyone piled into the bus and we drove to Kings Canyon (Watarrka). We had another seven or so kilometre trek around harsh but incredibly beautiful landscape. After an hour or so we reached the top of the canyon and sat to take in the breathtaking views. I cant explain in words the size and beauty of the place and our photos don't do it justice. It is actually a bigger canyon than the Grand Canyon only because the Grand Canyon isn't a canyon at all. It is caved out by a river so it is the Grand Gorge where as Kings Canyon was formed by the moving of tectonic plates millions of years ago. In the bottom of the canyon there is a billabong called the garden of Eden water hole, normally you get to swim in this but we couldn't as it hadn't been flushed out by rain for over a year so was green and stagnant and two months ago when Leith last swam in it everyone got pink eye, whatever that is? After our walk we had a four hour drive back to Alice springs to the hostel, and then a couple of hours to wash and rest before meeting in the pub. Everyone from our group got very very very drunk and after being turfed out at midnight we continued the drinking at our guides Leith's house with several free bottles of wine from the hostel. The rest of the evening was a bit fuzzy but I do recall Leith breaking the front kitchen window and Vicki being sick in a bin back at the hostel being lovingly held by me as she was incapable of getting off the bunk bed. The next morning we awoke with steaming headaches and staggered down to reception to extend our stay for one more night then rolled back into bed and got up at 5pm. We tried to eat $5 fish and chips as we hadn't eaten all day but only managed half of it. We then returned to our hostel room and watched toy story before going to bed at 9pm. The following morning, Sunday 26 October we hit the road heading north towards Darwin enjoying every minute of baking sun, hot drinking water, flies and Kangaroo stink and NO BLOODY RADIO RECEPTION……..Outback we love you.