September 28th-1st October

Tea at the ready, reading glasses on? Welcome to another blog about the 'Travels of Mel and Dec'. So we finally bit the bullet and had to endure a journey during the day. Obviously it's better to go long distances at night, least then you can in theory sleep, unless you're harassed by overt Mexicans (see previous blog).

We travelled to our ferry after a lovely tour around the island picking up randomers, 1 couple had 7 bags, which was fine as they were just piled up in front of Declan and at every corner would land on him. This time our crossing would be smoother than previous as we were travelling by a ferry!! Full blown ferry!! This invoked precious memories for Declan about trips to Ireland with cold sausage sandwiches, in a Volvo!!!! As we boarded the ferry we noticed a few gentlemen that looked very suspect. Suspect indeed, as we assessed these men we noticed that two of them were handcuffed to each other. A ferry crossing with criminals, Mel was very excited about the prospect of something kicking off. Nothing happened, which was fine. We then re-boarded our coach and picked 'better' seats at the front with slightly longer leg room. However whenever Declan's legs were stretched out, a crazy young Thai boy would slap them and say "no legs". This is odd as Declan has legs! The coach journey reminded us of a British summer. It was freezing, seriously freezing, 6 hours underneath air-con that couldn't be turned off. The humid air when the doors sporadically opened was a welcome relief.

We eventually arrived on Patong Beach in Phuket. Patong is all the seediness of Bangkok, packaged up and offered to Aussie families, American sailors and desperate old men. Bangla Street as it is known has none of the Thai qualities that are offered by likes of the Koa San road in Bangkok. The road could be anywhere! Anywhere that is, that offers Ping-Pong shows!!!!! Although it did also offer cheap drink, so we soaked up the atmosphere and a few pints.

The following morning we headed to the beach. Patong beach has some really good waves, probably one reason Aussies like it. Declan acted like he was in Baywatch and went crashing into the waves like a man possessed. Minutes later he sombrely walked back to his towel eyes dripping water as he had forgotten about his contacts!!! Later on we went exploring. Patong is basically a mini American city. Everywhere we looked there were 7-11s, McDonalds and Starbucks. By passing these we decided to wander around the Mall! The Jungceylon is twice the size of the bullring and even includes a food court equipped with a giant wooden ship. We decided that one of the evenings we would watch a film in there plush cinema.

That night, as if by chance, Declan mentioned there were a few football games on. It being a Saturday, the time difference means the 12:45 game in GB is on just after dinner for us. We bar hopped and ended up watching back to back games, "Oh look there's another game on" Being the sly line to entice Mel to stay and keep drinking, like she'd ever need much encouragement.

Back to the beach the following day to enable Mel to continue to brown and Declan to frazzle then go back to white. That night we went to enjoy a McDonalds. Declan had began fantasising about a double Big Mac since he saw one in Chiang Mai and was determined to gobble the whole thing down in 1 bite. After the success of Maccy D's we headed off to the cinema to watch a mediocre Nic Cage film. The cinema was £1.50 each which gave us massive chairs that reclined and too much leg room. Something seriously need readdressing at Cineworld, you guys should get on that. In another turn of not ripping customers off, we bought a big tub of popcorn for a pound!! Before the film started we were subjected to what can only be described as adverts choc full of subliminal messages, there was also some weird Asian version of 'Jackass' that wasn't in the slightest humorous but had the Thai couple down from us in stitches. After the trailers and before the film is a montage devoted to the King of Thailand. It is customary to stand during the film as a sign of respect. The mini film consisted of a really poor instrumental piece with old photos and segments depicting his life. I assume a child had made it in a competition, although saying that, the Nic Cage film wasn't any better.

The following day we headed to Phi Phi. This is where a tragedy occurred, the camera with all our pictures on vanished!! We had it while playing pool and then we didn't. Therefore there is no album for Phuket. Ahhhhhhhhhhh Although we now have a new camera