September 22nd-September 25th

Ahhh Koh Phangan, a very hot and stuffy island, and trust us, full on hills. Big STEEP hills. It is also the place of the world famous Full Moon Party. Sadly we aren't in the right phase of the Moon at the moment so the place is like a desert island. We went after pre booking a lovely hotel in the north west of the island with a lovely sandy beach.

Lovely Sandy Beach. Three words Declan hates, and after a rant about how annoying it is and how it'll be all over the room and in the towels and backpacks we settled on a resort with a 'Infinity edge Pool'. It keeps kids happy and Declan has the mind of one! As with all the places we visit, we drop the bags off and go have a wander around. The 3 maps we had stated that the resort was inbetween two little towns. We headed out the resort an up a little hill. Now think back to your childhood, and the song "The Grand Old Duke of York" We literally went down a hill. Then up a hill. Then down a hill. Each hill getting steeper and steeper and neither of us were in 'Trekking' mood. We eventually found the town, got an ice cream and basked in the airconditioned 7-11 for as long as possible. Declan also bought the best pair of fake Raybans ever made, remember we mentioned a pair had been lost, well Mel had lost his original pair. All these details and more should be remembered, there will be a test when we're back.

We relaxed for a time knowing at some point we would have to face Koh Phangan's newest attraction, Total Wipeout!!! We gave it a few days while Declan built up his base tan (he evened out his hilarious vest marks) Mel on the other hand is working her way down the dulux colour chart to chocolate brown.

Judgement Day!!!!! We arrived just before lunch and had some breakfast at the lake hut. The wipeout arena is in an old tin mine that has filled in with water to make a very deep lake. Its inhabitants, some fish and a carnivorous....................otter. However seeing as it was the daytime and otters are nocturnal we decided it was an acceptable risk (see this blog is also mildly educational). When we arrived there wasn't anyone around, luckily, so we were both quite eager to have a trial run before people started seeing us as the lunchtime entertainment. The record for boys in the time trail was 1:04sec considering this is roughly how long it took Mel to leave the first platform we werent going to break any records. We had a go and eventually got all the way round, Declan constantly shouting to the operator that the 1:04 is a lie and he didnt believe it.

Then......a travasty, an Israelien couple appeared wanting to have a go. Here is some more information you might not have known..... most Israelis are drafted into the military at the age of 18. Following mandatory service, Israeli men join the reserve forces. Declan was gutted as he thought he would set the fastest time of the day, then out comes G.I. Joe to ruin his chances. Straight off he tells the women he wants to be timed, proudly struts to the platform, swings in and sets an overall time of 2:12. Mel and the other girl decide they don't want to be drawn into this caveman style challenge and continue on the course just for fun. Mel very nearly made it to the 3rd rug on the mountain top, before hopelessly falling off. Declan, having now recovered from his first trial run eventually decides he'll have a timed go. People in the restuarant above were on the edge of their seats. Up goes Milky to begin his run (there is a video of this entry in the video section). It took Mel nearly 5 minutes and coutless instructions from the platform of Doom before she worked out how to film it it!

In he goes crashing into the water like Tom Daley, thats if Tom now started to land on his face! Shakes off the pain, swims to the first platform like a man possessed. Cleared. Now on to the mountain. Easy. Although at the top he stylishly tumbled, again landing on his face. Over the monkey bars. Doddle. Swims to the last platform, fatigue now setting in. Up the bars, 3 rotating barrels face him. Hop.........Hop........Hop with the agility of a cat. Crashes into the water and desperately swims to the final mat.

Tense..........................................Out comes the time. 2:10!!!!!!! The crowd goes wild. Out clambers Declan, he is now utterly useless for an hour, wheezing and coughing like an old man. The Israeli however is priming for another go. Before that however the girls finally get to have a go. So in swings Mel, alot quicker this time, and heads towards the trampolines. Over she goes, and in she falls!! Now onto the mountain, it had beaten her twice, would it again? Yes!! Swimming now towards the monkey bars, up she gets, 3 bars in, again with a splash. Over to the rolling barrels. Up she gets, braces herself, she made it over them before, but now they're all wet. Hop.......Hop......Wallop!!!!! Down she falls with a bang, catching her back along the way. Mel struggles to the surface, in jumps Hasslehoff/Declan to the rescue. She manges to swim herself back slowly but its 'Goodnight Vienna' for Mels WipeOut career.

Up steps our Israeli soldier for round two. Can he beat Griffin's time? Yes he can, record for the day now set at 2:05. The last round really took it out of Griffin, plus his rescue mission........could he go again and shave 5 seconds off or more? He did. 1:58!!!! Israeli Soldier admits defeat, its a win for G.I. Joker. Go team. Although not fast enough to make the boys leaderboard, his is now the 5th fastest girl on the island. Utterly shattered and with Melanie injured, we retire for the day back to the pool. Not alot happened the next day as neither of us could move. Thats all for Koh Phangan.......Off we go to Samui.