Saturday 23rd April -

This morning Dan was a very lazy b****** and stayed in bed so Jamie had to have breakfast with a fat, ugly Ozzie brer. After waiting ages for a taxi and being rejected on several occasions for reasons we did not understand, we bode farewell to Boonsiri place and made for Viengtai Hotel where we would start our tour.  In the afternoon, we headed into central Bangkok to visit MBK shopping centre, which (just our luck) was closed due to a fire. Instead we wondered around the five-storey shopping centre opposite - attractions included designer shops like CK and Mac and a French cafe. We then visited Dreamworld, an amazing aquarium with sharks, rays and goldfish! Wow! We stayed for shark feeding, which was amazing, although not conclusive enough to erase Dan's fear of sharks! If only a dive was that good...

After Dan almost got us killed by crossing a 10-lane main road, we jumped in a cab and went back to the hotel, where Nick, Nick and Craig suprised us by randomly knocking on our hotel door! We then went down to meet our 'Northern Thailand' tour, with whom we will be spending 15 days with. The group consists of a really nice Aussie couple and a British schoolboy, Will - very posh fella. As a group we went out to a local Thai resteraunt and watched Spurs vs. Arsenal, screaming with amazement at Jenas' last minute heroic equaliser. Don't think the 3 local Thai's quietly eating their meal knew what hit them... After a few drinks on Khoasan road, we met up with Lauren and her friends and went to Phat Pong to Ping Pong! Basically this involved ugly umemployed Thai women doing revolting things with their vaginas. Activities include: smoking cigarettes, shooting pellets to pop balloons and writing personal messages for a bargain price of 100baht. 

Sunday 22nd April -

After a distinct lack of sleep we arose at 745 and went on a long-tailed boat. This was a new and amazing experience, seeing the other side of Bangkok as a water village. We got off the boat at Wat Po - home of the famous 107ft reclining Buddha. Now this thing was f***ing big and seriously impressive! After Noi, our tour leader's explanation of the significance of Wat Po, we visited Chinatown and decided to meet the boys for a traditional Subway dish...

Later we got a cab to the Banglamphoo station and got on a 14hr sleeper train up north to Chiang Mai. All we can say is that an overnight train is certainly an experience.....

Monday 23rd April -

We arrived at Chiang Mai early this morning and got a Songthaw (local cab) to our guesthouse, where we ate breakfast and prepared to go trekking with elephants! Elephant trekking was unbelievable... they are enormous and seriously hench creatures. We were chosen to ride upon Mahmoun, an elderly chap who favoured lethargy over pace and determination. Furthermore, Mahmoun felt it fair to lob freshly dropped elephant s***e over both of us! Cheers big fella... After the trek Jamie still decided to reward him by feeding him with some bananas.

We then drove to bamboo rafting, which was a bit like punting - just with the university buildings swapped for local thai shanty houses and the ducks swapped for elephants . Dan the token tosser fell in and lost his shoe (which was later recovered by the Thai guide). At the end of the trip, Jamie, encouraged by our tour group and a Thai family had a fling with a local Thai girl, making her wet in several places...

We had an amazing lunch in a local Thai village for 25baht (35p) and went to to the hotel to cotch. After dinner we had a wander around Chiang Mai's local market and Jamie joined the fake watch crew and bought himself a crazy and stylish watch.